Jolly Folly, Mighty Morphin'

I don't know which is worse. Feeling like a cold duck rowing in the evening rain, or getting sunburnt on the same day in the splendid morning.

Ithaca is full of surprises.

The end of the semester is in sight. Really doesn't feel like a full academic year has passed, because when you are doing silly things and excuse yourself blatantly by saying, "I'm just a Freshman. Honeymoon period," time whizzes you by and snatches away your ticket to stupidity.

After 2 semesters at Cornell, I wouldn't say I have become a more clever person. But then again, since when was the whole point of education about increasing intelligence? If anything, I think I have opened my eyes from beyond a peep into a glary exploration into the Western psyche. Up to this day, I still disapprove of partying till you puke, wasting the weekend away and the speak-before-you-think disposition. Granted, no man is perfect, but somewhere deep in me, there is a Singaporean shouting out to remain Singaporean and proud to be all things Singaporean, for good or for bad.

I love the "any person, any study" philosophy here that means that everyone gets a chance to do what he wants at Cornell, and the flexibility and choice offered is really pretty amazing I must say. Being at the center of the buzz of the world, hours away from the bright lights of New York City and on the same continent as the man of the century Barack Obama, a cosmopolitan air wraps me, but doesn't necessarily stick onto me.

Above all, however, this year was a really lonely year. Maybe it's University life or just my personality, but despite the U.S. being the hub of all the world's connections and networks, I have pretty much been a soul floating on my own platform. I believe it's because as you age, you mould a voice of your own, and I'm beginning to see how people differ from me, and as a friend put it, "Brandon, you are wired so differently!" Blame it on my parents or something, but I THINK I REALLY ENJOY BEING MYSELF FOR WHO I AM. I know I say weird things at times, but I think I make a point! I ALWAYS wonder why people just can't think beyond a certain framework. People get pre-occupied with boundaries. And get all defensive and sceptical when a different opinion is raised.

It sure doesn't help that the 3 most important things in my life - family, friends and food (authentic food)- are miles away. I remember my father's pitch-imperfect tone-deaf rendition of "A Thousand Miles", where he goes "A thousand miles, a thousand miles, a thousand miles, a thousand miles, you are a thousand miles away from home...". The karaoke screen shows a train moving quickly on the railway tracks and the incongruous image of a long-haired blonde waving her hair in the wind, which moves the tall cattails in the plantations. If only that train appeared before me this very moment and sent me on my way home, and even if I land on a plantation of cattail, I wouldn't mind, because I know from there, I could still find my way back home, or at least begin to.

As I finish this entry, the sky outside turns dark. It's kinda cold. I'm drunk from downing water. Heck, life goes on. I need to bathe, wash up, feel my body again and get down to work. Reminding myself the reason why I'm here, it kind of feels better.

:)

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, April 29, 2009 | Permalink

What is this inner state,
That leaves the newspapers stacked in odd dimensions,
That builds dust on that age-old printer,
And condensation in an empty bottle.

What is this fine imagination,
That turns an eye on cereal bits by the vase,
The dustbin brimming like a popcorn maker,
And the crooked blinds since 1984.

My name is on a placard,
I can only see some letters.
My heart might be ticking over,
I can feel it counting nickles.

What is this funny new song,
Immaculate like a Vegas card dealer,
Filthy like a Manhattan deli owner,
And mysterious like a Hollywood chick flick director.

I wished I had a chocolate bar,
A beer, a babe and a spanking car.
I wish I had a mind,
A space, a love, a music, a sunset,
If not, just time.

Posted by Brandon at Friday, April 24, 2009 | Permalink

When you are in a boat, it takes 8 people to move it as fast as possible. It becomes presumptuous and ridiculous when people start fighting over who's giving more and who's holding back. I hate it when someone throws a tantrum and appeals to the excuse that someone else is not pulling hard enough. It just sows unnecessary distrust. Just do it man.

My "favourite" groupwork has all come rolling onto my lap again. Haiz, what to do. Hell week this week. All braced.

I think I've grown up a little more recently, only because I've started to take to coffee in the morning. It makes you feel more adult, doesn't it? Maybe it's just those gourmet coffeehouses with their exotic blends boasting Fair Trade, in cups nestled in colourful coffee collars, coffee beans spilling out of antique burlap bags - a whole image that makes one feel... elevated... distinguished to be holding on to a coffee.

But to me, coffee really lifts the spirits. I mean, sometimes, when I just feel like what the lecturer's saying is going into one of my ears and marching out from the other, I gallop with anticipation to the cafe for a dose of my favourite Kenyan or Columbian coffee. Coffee in hand, especially when the cold stings your ears as you realise that Spring has decided to marry Winter for some reason, you trumpet your way out of the building, and really feel rejuvenated and renewed. Maybe it's the caffeine or just me over-thinking things again, but there's something to it that puts you in a different mood without fail.

There is no questioning this, but I DO ROW FASTER after drinking coffee. There is enough of a sample size to establish this hypothesis as fact. Really.

I am coming home. Counting the days.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, April 21, 2009 | Permalink

It's snowing now even in April in this god-forsaken place. Please stop snowing. There comes a time and place for everything and the sun needs to take reign.

This Sunday, I am going to a restaurant for lunch and reviewing it. How amazing. EXPENSE-PAID REVIEW! This offer came from someone on campus who chanced upon my blog (hey there!) and enjoyed some of my rants about food. And this review is going on THE CAMPUS DAILY. How COOL IS THAT! Cannot wait to see my first venture into journalism bear fruit.

O well, this period is busy as hell. Out of the 6 classes I have, a grand total of 5 of them consist of group work! I CANNOT HELP BUT LAMENT AGAIN... on how I hate group work. Basically, you come together, chat a lot, and then decide on who does which part. Zero production of results. Then the division of labour is so awkwardly skewed, it sometimes gets hard to avoid overlaps in work, not to mention inequality of workload, which I am less concerned with. I feel like I have more meetings than scribblings, more group management than work management.

Only 1 month more. Can one.

Posted by Brandon at Friday, April 10, 2009 | Permalink

It's easy to look at a row of eight people walk away from you, each rain-jackets with the words HARVARD embossed on their backs, and immediately feel a sense of creeping trepidation. I mean, there are only few words in this world that carry as much weight in one's mind as in another's. I wonder what kinds of storms brew in the mental troves of these Harvard boys.

But outside of our bags of bones is a true storm gaining strength. The waters were constantly crashing perilously on craggy rocks that dotted the river. There has never been worse waters to row in.

But that we beat Harvard and Penn for that matter, goes to show that nothing can stand in our way. A 16-second clear victory.

Names are really only names, letters at most. They stand for nothing in the harsh conditions that reset all psychological advantages to zero. It was a time to test who had let their fears take flight with the wind, and who had allowed the wind swirl fear into their hearts.

Today is a glorious day. Really glorious day.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, April 05, 2009 | Permalink

Today the front page of our Cornell chronicle bore an article that announced that our dining halls were going to start serving beer. In another headline, the Dean of our school was going to jail because of corruption.

I'm like what?

Ok I totally forgot that it was April Fools' Day! And I was deceived big time. How dumb.

Then I come back to my dorm and another headline caught my eye on the Internet-"UCSD Sends Acceptance E-mail to Wrong List". Armed with a new-found caution against sensationalism, I scanned the article looking for traces of illegitimacy or incongruency. No there weren't any. UC San Diego -- a school for the smart ones, supposedly -- had really mistakenly congratulated nearly 29,000 applicants on their acceptance.

I think our world has been turned so topsy-turvy that the line between truth and false has taken off and flown into a garbage can. How ridiculous can our rational world get? How far can limits stretch such that we still recognise them? We become immune to the big news, because every piece of newly-acquired information shocks us with equal strength. We are no longer surprised that a huge, fatal fire in the corners of some upstate town that killed hundreds only managed a pathetic last page 3-paragraph write-up.

With that, our emotions have turned mellow, if not jaded. Laughs turn into smiles, smiles into blankness. As we march forward with our steel eyes and armored bodies, we think we have a stronger control of our premises and our mental faculties, when in fact, we have unknowingly spun out of control.

Happy April Fools' Day. One would be a fool to take my message too seriously. Smile. Or maybe laugh.

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, April 02, 2009 | Permalink