Sunday, September 23, 2007

Bread are balloons - they can even stomach anything from sausages to grated cheese. It heaves up like a dwarf beating its strong chest, you could almost hear Jane echoing from afar. Yet it's soft like a pillow (really, you must try!), plump!, it goes down in a sturdy, tough punchbag. The sweat of flour splattering on the marble, the bulldozer drive of the rolling pin, the flip and dust and knead of a versatile scumbag. The cackle of bread fresh from the oven and the spray of the shortening play in ears that match with noses to sniff .... the unusually uncommon (6am) aroma of country loaves that just washed themselves in the golden morning dews.

Tarts. Like them sweet more than tart. But they are sinful and decadent as tarts under the sleazy red neon lights. When a tart is nicely cut into a slick slice (takes a lot of effort), topped with a mushroom of whipped cream browned by fire, it gives this sense of bliss - that for every tart that exists, there is a heart that pumps with it, that races with every bite and every munch. Hard crust with soft filling (coconut, green tea, custard, fruits). On a white plate (must be white), and never forget the tickle of a trickle of chocolate fondant, generously but enticingly dripped over the tart.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

Life has va va vroomed in such colourful smoke, I feel like a character in Hairspray. The colour markers in my pencil box. The very rainy days that somehow speak of rainbows to come. And of course, fumbling in my hedonistic and carefree ways.

I'm in my last week of course that qualifies me to be a Company
Commander. To be on course is the greatest bliss coz you become a student again with no holds barred. There's no imaginary CCTV camerastailing you, no meetings, no obligation to my men, just yourself and that sense of inquiry that feeds your development. You can make all the mistakes in the world, and you'd be encouraged to make more to learn more.

That's why I dread returning to unit I guess. I'm a PC again. It's time to be all very responsible, "for their training, morale and discipline". No mistakes, no hole in the pie, no gap in the oven, just need that nice-looking pie on the cooling rack, golden and crisp to perfection. Just need, don't have to want to.

I've asked myself SO many questions, and positively, I've gained alot from the course. My attitude towards Army has changed quite phenomenally and as I gear towards greater command, I feel empowered and excited to make the changes to people's lives, to be able to have a say of my own and to shape my company the way it should be. Finally.

2 months to ORD. So long away. Yet so many things to look/not to look forward to.

I'm just a confused bitch.

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