I felt so demotivated at the moment I realised that I could no longer conquer the swing trainer. The heavy SBO, the SAR 21 weapon cumbersomely weighing down my morale. 3 flaps of skin has already peeled off from my hands. Kept swinging and swinging and kept falling.
Then it was low rope. "Hey, I can do this one!" No, that thought didnt' really materialise. I couldn't recover the ease at which I literally leaped through the obstacles. Three instructors, there to encourage weaker cadets to manoeuvre the rope, stood in front of me, cursing and swearing their guts out.
Something has happened to me. I feel I have dropped something. Yet, I feel like I have been slapped some weight, not being able to shave it off my shoulders. It wasn't just SOC that told me that, it is the small tell-tale signs each day - turning the alarm to wake 5 minutes later, not caring to eat faster when instructed to, waiting for people to do something, intending to give up doing something because it just didn't really matter.
The fifth core value of the SAF is fighting spirit. I feel I have put down my shield, slowly yet begrudgingly. I keep trying to turn that alarm 5 minutes earlier, but somehow that clock just seems to be resisting that twist of the knob.
"Everything happens for a reason". It's getting more real for me, this quote which I never really felt relevant to me before. THERE is a REASON.
My section is currently in the middle of a silent conflict. That night, we all sat on the tall grass after finding our first night checkpoint in Tekong, taking a rest. One camp wanted to go to the next checkpoint, while another wanted to just stay and slack because we have passed the navigation test already. It became a DE-CONFLICT session, where people just lambasted each other to hold on to the beliefs they held firmly to. People are like that. Especially OCS people. STRONG HEADS, STRONG MINDS, STRONG BODY. But a weakness in understanding others, because of strength.There always lies a line between these two camps of thoughts, and till now, a few of us still sit dangerously in the middle, including me because I want to appease people more than I want to show how my value weigh against yours. It's just stupid.
Field camp was a blast. Just too many interesting things happened. WILD BOAR!, Barbecue on the last night, which was surprisingly delicious (good caterer!), Navigating forests the WHOLE day, Combat biscuits, oooh. Just all the washing of dirty clothes after the camp sucked, because it's more xiong that Physical Training - You keep scrubbing and scrubbing one hour non-stop - and it still isn't clean.
Then it was low rope. "Hey, I can do this one!" No, that thought didnt' really materialise. I couldn't recover the ease at which I literally leaped through the obstacles. Three instructors, there to encourage weaker cadets to manoeuvre the rope, stood in front of me, cursing and swearing their guts out.
Something has happened to me. I feel I have dropped something. Yet, I feel like I have been slapped some weight, not being able to shave it off my shoulders. It wasn't just SOC that told me that, it is the small tell-tale signs each day - turning the alarm to wake 5 minutes later, not caring to eat faster when instructed to, waiting for people to do something, intending to give up doing something because it just didn't really matter.
The fifth core value of the SAF is fighting spirit. I feel I have put down my shield, slowly yet begrudgingly. I keep trying to turn that alarm 5 minutes earlier, but somehow that clock just seems to be resisting that twist of the knob.
"Everything happens for a reason". It's getting more real for me, this quote which I never really felt relevant to me before. THERE is a REASON.
My section is currently in the middle of a silent conflict. That night, we all sat on the tall grass after finding our first night checkpoint in Tekong, taking a rest. One camp wanted to go to the next checkpoint, while another wanted to just stay and slack because we have passed the navigation test already. It became a DE-CONFLICT session, where people just lambasted each other to hold on to the beliefs they held firmly to. People are like that. Especially OCS people. STRONG HEADS, STRONG MINDS, STRONG BODY. But a weakness in understanding others, because of strength.There always lies a line between these two camps of thoughts, and till now, a few of us still sit dangerously in the middle, including me because I want to appease people more than I want to show how my value weigh against yours. It's just stupid.
Field camp was a blast. Just too many interesting things happened. WILD BOAR!, Barbecue on the last night, which was surprisingly delicious (good caterer!), Navigating forests the WHOLE day, Combat biscuits, oooh. Just all the washing of dirty clothes after the camp sucked, because it's more xiong that Physical Training - You keep scrubbing and scrubbing one hour non-stop - and it still isn't clean.