Wednesday, November 30, 2005

The idea of dying my hair never came to my mind before. But the whole family was at a Watson's at Jurong, when my mum spotted a new Garnier hairdye product going at a low introductory price. Brother was looking for dye to re-dye his hair. And I wanted it desperately too. Somehow, I knew there was an inner ah-beng in me. I just knew it. (No offence to people with dyed hair la, but it's my good ol' perceptions at work.)

I was bloooooooody excited about dying my short hair. It was massive adrenaline. From 10pm, the moment I spotted the mild colour I wanted, to 12 o'clock when the hair's done by my mum, it was .. I can't find the word, but it was EXCITING. Sitting on that toilet bowl, smelling a faint, pungent ammonia. I wanted to see how it would turn out, what subjecting myself to a scientific equation, a DIY frenzy would result in. THEN, IT WAS THE MOMENT OF TRUTH. LIKE A SCIENTIST WHO MADE A NEW DISCOVERY, I SIMPLY...

Didn't SEE ANY COLOUR. Damn pissed. Felt like a cheated bug.

The result of cheap products. My brother's came came out slightly red, when the picture clearly had someone with golden hair moving her head ala Den(n?)is Richard(s?). Big disappointment.

STB INTERVIEW: I stood out today because I was severely under-dressed, was the only one without a briefcase, and the one who arrived last when my interview was first. I even had to borrow socks from jianhao who was having his interview at 11 something, because I was just too bochap to wear socks. But the interview was like a joke! The interviewers were SERIOUS, no doubt, but I was crapping my way through like a true-blue Human Geog Essay (maybe that's the good thing about geog). CRAP. They asked about RENT, and IVAN Heng, and Geography. I knew that if there was a geoger around, they would have laughed their heads off. I would have laughed badly too, if I were to see poor friend Helen hiding a giggle or Dawn sniggling as she claps, or Khairul with his pearly whites, Crystal and Shariza with their signature smiles, Erica with the meek grin, and Yin Ren maybe not present(GEOGER GEOGER GEOGER). And the truly incongrous part (think Decline and Fall -what should happen doesn't and what shouldn't happen happens), they were ocassionally nodding in approval, or simply listening with due respect.

On the way to the EDB place, I sat in the car and I REMEMBERED then and only then that, the CRAZY As ARE ACTUALLY OVER! Like a furry, yet spiky, gooey yet balley piece of shit from my anus, that decided to come out and infest me, though it has hibernated in me for so long.

4-4 GATHERING. Watermelon, I will bring, but I won't get cheated anymore this time. Because I bought a bloody (literally because the watermelon was good, red, succulent, and delicious) watermelon at $7.70. I literally did a double take.

DOUBLE TAKE! Reminds me of one of the first few TSD workshops, where the comedy of our good friend Jon Cho shitting in the jungle turned into a physical farce (I remember vaguely). I miss TSD already man, weird rehearsal techniques, PHANTOM OF THE OPERA which on hindsight was damn stupid. I must be seriously out of love to have thought of that script, that SET!, that deep-voiced "CHRISTINE, your HAIR IS SO...."

Didn't mean to spill things about past two years, but I just find myself typing anf typing and typing. Live well.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Today, I woke up to face an empty house. The feeling was different, lethally attractive yet fatally repelling. 11.30, looked extremey bizarre. I like the feeling of being loose, silent and freed, but also the feeling of being bounded by a short-term goal. The brushing of teeth, opening that packet of cereal and even reading the papers became a different thing. I look backed and told myself,

"BRANDON. YOU HAVE WORKED HARD. REALLY REALLY HARD."

If you are reading this, go to the mirror, look at the very face you have, and tell yourself, THANK YOU MYSELF, for having lived the way I had, done the things I did, and never did regret it. Pat yourself on the back, give a smile, no matter how blur the future seems, CREDIT yourself for one moment, because this is the very soul and being that has seen you through.

I feel like I'm going to die. I'm VERY HAPPY NOW, but the happier it gets, it seems like it's going to end sooner. The image of a day-long rain and an armchair rocking to the tune of a 70s melody, rocking to a deep sleep. Warm. Dim.

Surreal. Absolutely surreal.

Monday, November 21, 2005

Remember the bamboos that swordfish stupidly jump onshore to?

Thursday, November 17, 2005

GP ECONS GEOGRAPHY are OUTTAAA the way~! Econs went bad, (think smelly beancurd), rotted in the hells of incompletion and confusion.

BUT Geography was excellent. Excellent in the sense that you cannot enjoy a paper more than Human Geog! You are writing about THE WORLD! (Not pulling an Erica here, but) Yes, although sometimes can be content diarrhea, but you are pulling examples from everywhere and forming a picture of your own, something that makes sense, something that is a commentary on the world - not geographical world, there's no geographical world, it's just the world as it is with no boundaries between geogers and non-geogers or between poor or rich. HUMAN GEOGRAPHY IS NOT BORING!~ But what we term as "crap" in H Geog exams is precisely the gem, because it IS a commentary on life, and we think talking about ourselves, our surroundings and our neighbours, our urban areas, is not academic, hence crap, but this is ABSOLUTELY crap!

700 000 prostitutes in Thailand, doesn't it interest you! Yin Ren's KENYA commercial with lions eating zebras! Squatters - The name not funny?!

ANYWAY!... A Levels has WHIZZEd past like nobody's business. Exhibits along Orchard Road was fantabulousious. Again, Life (LIFE!) at its very best.

PC tomorrow. I LOVE IT!!!!! YADA YABADOOO.

Friday, November 11, 2005

BIGGEST LOSER

Fat people rule the world. OVERSIZED POPSTARS was not hilarious, but actually quite a big lesson. Celebrities have no qualms parading on stage (I don't have much of a qualm but I'm not a celebrity), but these people have a lot to think about. Whether that fat at the waist sticks out, or that shirt is too tight. I don't have anything else to say, but I think they DESERVE a lot more than what society accords them. A LOT. Watching them cry over a call home and flinch at the sight of tempting cupcakes, made me look back at ALL the junk I've eaten, made me want to fast or something. Hearts out to them. Hearts out.

Put me there, I'd have given in.

You can imagine the MOMENT that guy in the red crew stepped on the scale and found out that he actually gained 3 pounds after working out at the gym for hours a day. THAT MOMENT. You think about it. Equivalent to nothing you've ever realised. And eating VEGETABLES all day!

I AM A STINGRAY, bobbing my head over the headphones. Chilli slathered on my pubics. Swam and only swam. Over the glass PANELS!, where I found the heads bobbing in refraction? Reflection? Scroll, RECALCITRANT, making a baby choke. Hands down, yes OOO yes! I celebrate!

(That was a 1 minute thinkoutloud, I'm rather confused now.)

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

A levels has started.

Wednesday 08-11-2005.

It felt like A levels was over after Physical Geog. It HAS already taken "the wildness out of" the eyes. This is the shittish exam. Never study very hard, no motivation and it just doesn't feel right. (Agree anyone! Please allow me to reconcile ith this feeling.)

We can't look back, but since there's a way forward, why not?

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

I want to RANT and ABUSE my blog now, but here I am at the "Create" place and I've got nothing to say. SHOUTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

I think we treat babies and children too lightly. Adults have this cyclops mask that doesn't turn downwards but only rotates on one single plane horizontally. Adulthood is not my cup of tea. And watching my brother just laze the day away after his exams and ironically on a school day sandwiched between two public holidays. Quite randomly, I told him without much of an intent days ago, "Tabi, I will bring you lunch on Wednesday." He TOOK IT SERIOUSLY when I didn't really mean it. And he waited today for the entire recess period, and went back to class without eating, as he narrated pathetically to me. Ever thought why since children never lie, why are we growing up to learn to the deceptions of the world.

This very boy came up to me on Monday, told me coyly, "Kor, what is a vagina?" He's going to learn something new, he's going to be a level higher with a new piece of knowledge that I'm going to feed him. "Tabi, it's the woman's private parts." That look of amazement, intermingled with wide-eyed amusement. The hopping around, as if triumphing over knowing something probably some other kids wouldn't have known. And he tells me unperturbed, "Today, there was a inspiring teacher award. And he got a vagina on stage! Hahah." I wanted to laugh, not because of the dim humour, not because I couldn't get it at all, but at how earnestly he meant it, so much so that I thought he meant it and that it happened.

And yes, the same boy told me on the very same day. That his friend was sleeping when his sister came in naked. Yesterday was Tabithan's birthday and I asked his friends about the story which I evidently didn't believe and they verified it. This corruption is not corruption. It is learning to get real, learning to express once-considered lewd stories, and to articulate the worldliness and adult views and messages. Wow.

It made me re-consider maybe my brother is one of the last few in class to learn what a vagina is. What it REALLY means to be PART OF THE WORLD.

Today was a HIGHLY enjoyable episode of the Amazing Race. And one line which I will never forget, which goes something like, "I don't think we have to think about what others say about us. We have learnt not to trust anyone. We only trust our family. And God. Because we are christians, we are above them."

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