Jolly Folly, Mighty Morphin'

I don't know why, but the end of this exam gives me more happiness than any other exam before. (There is still PC tomorrow. My imprudence shows the regard I hold of it) It's a PHEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW relief. Munched up absurdly under-priced star potatoes at Burger King. 20 cents for a packet, what the hell? Went home, sat down, and for once, I wasn't thinking what I was going to do the next moment.

As I told Yin Ren and Jiali, life is quite wonderful. If we never had this period of hell, where would we feel the relief?

The fan beside me has a rotating louver that's spoilt, it turns left and right instead of in one direction. A weird, very inspiring moving image, that sparked off some thoughts about life. The wire is connected to the wall socket. It has a timer, 4 power buttons with numbers on them that add up to 6. The computer faces me, wide and somewhat open. The fan faces me as it faces itself. Some rays of light fall on my head, while others reflect off the walls to hit MY face. The phone sits there, waiting to RING loudly.

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, June 30, 2005 | Permalink

People smile in DIFFERENT ways. Looking very different EVERYWHERE and EVERYBODY.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, June 26, 2005 | Permalink

NS Check-up was a long process and 4 hours just passed like that. But every minute, there was something going on, pretty much very exciting.

It was a lot of shuffling around, people darting from room to room. Enter one room, "take off your shoes, read instructions on the wall". Mechanically, the entire group turns their heads towards the same direction, realises the instruction was in Malay and in unison shifts their gazes to the instruction in English. Somewhere in another corner, a group of guys are gathered at the locker. They look around as if to check for flies, then when the first strips to shorts, the others follow, as if the flies have all gone. They mince into Consultation Room.

Weird things happened. "Pull down your underwear! And cough!", "Bend down and touch your toes", questionnaires that reminded me of Psychometric Test, "Ungraded 2, ungraded 8" (referring to tooth quality), "Follow the green footsteps on the ground to the next station. Thank you." The entire thing was idiot-proof, literally. It was fast and efficient, and robotic.

I took my weight today and I'm 64 kg! What the hell? I'm losing weight? That's a lot from 70kg last term. 64 is quite off arh. And sitting down waiting for my turn today made me think about NS, and I'm starting to imagine things. It would be EXCITING EXCITING, but what's in store, other than pictures I've seen, I don't know what'gs going to happen on Enlistment Day.

Life's quite bleak recently, ain't it? Ms Lian's leaving for REAL, for GOOD. And it makes me wonder what's going to happen to Geography in school. Rushing to finish revision, which is like washing your face in a toilet bowl. TSD is over. My discman's down, no music on the bus. People getting upset. But I realised this Geoger thing is very real, very special somehow. Somehow people just CLICK in the group? Feel that people care within this clan and things kind of work out. Uncle JOHN!

Posted by Brandon at Friday, June 24, 2005 | Permalink

*Handphone rings*

Shirin: Brandon here?
Brandon: Yes, speaking.
Shirin: Hi, Brandon, Shirin from W!ld Rice. You free to talk now?
Brandon: (shocked, lost, slightly excited about "W!ld Rice") Yes, I am. Erm, who's Shirin speaking?
Shirin: Yes, did Ivan speak to you about the project?
Brandon: (shocked again, "Ivan Heng"?, "project"?) No. (pause)
Shirin: Brendon Fernandez right?

HAR?! Who is this woman? For a moment I thought W!ld Rice was looking for actors for some production.

Today sucked. I want school. Watermelon juice, TSD room sofa, the drag of going for tutorials among other things. I cannot figure out how someone can study at Macs or KFC or Starbucks. It's freaking sticky right? You eat, talk, study, press the calculator, draw diagrams all on the same table.

I AM ADDICTED TO TV. It's itchy fingers. That remote control's just too irresistable. MTV. It's sit and never leave. Then sleep. I'm quite lost now, signing off.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, June 21, 2005 | Permalink

Sitting in front of the computer, GOT this sizeable throat problem, god knows what the hell is wrong, gulping blue plastic cups of water, makes each drink homogeneously boring, coughing incessantly, maybe and as if to dig out a mouse residing in the phlegm-hole.

And a party is going on at this condo at the East of Singapore. Imagine bustling music, a TV with "Ten Things I hate About You" screening for the 17th time, jumping into the pool, playing tennis or table-tennis, digging into unknown specialities everyone's brought, TSD talk bouncing off the glass walls of the apartment. Sitting in front of the computer, the 17th cup of water.

I thought about the most remote possibility of being an erotic writer. As in stories that are erotic (duh). I want to write, but knowing how Literature is not my cup of tea, but this type of story is lucrative! Just the right words, recycled again and again, no need for flowery language or bombastic adjectives, who cares anyway, and books will be sliding off the shelves.

Realised I actually have a shelf of books. In this computer room I'm in. I WILL READ. I WILL READ because sometimes, you like the words they use, sometimes it's how your life connects with a story, sometimes it's a play you're dying to read about, sometimes, it's the ending.

YES, I watched Secret Window. "What's most important is the ending". Very very intriguing. I can't make out whether Johnny Depp was good. But how he switched accent was freaking good. American accent makes a line freaky. Try it.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, June 20, 2005 | Permalink

Our atmosphere is full of contradictions. That's what I found out from digging into the pile of Geog notes. Regretted not making notes because what I tried to memorise is all over the place at this point in time, but if I never started, then never start.

VOLCANO - Think of boiling lava, hot ashes and scorching heat, but it actually LOWERS temperatures - Erica even asked if triggering off eruptions could curb global warming.
ATMOSPHERE - Greenhouse gases are damned gases, but constitute less than 0.1% of the atmosphere. What the! Felt cheated.
WINDS - Winds move from high pressure to low pressure, but dammit, I realised wind can move from low to high!
HIGH TEMPERATURES - Think of snow melting at the poles, but the notes tell me glaciers grow in size. ???
GLOBAL WARMING - Higher evaporation rates, more clouds, so we expect more convectional rain, but notes tell me LESS rain. Made me wonder why the hell I even studied for Global Warming.

I think confusion spurs people on, sometimes. There's this need to clarify and when you do, you automatically remember it, and it's gotten right for good.

Finally bought my first pair of Asics! At this clearance sale. It's good stuff for running.

Posted by Brandon at Friday, June 17, 2005 | Permalink

LUNA-id theatre has one production this year and only one production this year - QUILLS. When I read the press release, I WANTED TO BE PART OF IT! I think they are investing in this production, all energies into one major offering. Sort of Samantha Scott-Blackhall's one show which will prove whether she deserved BEST DIRECTOR. Pressure's high.

Mariel (from YC) is in it too! I think she deserves it, because her talent is CRAP CRAP CRAP massive and she's one of those no-crap, no-airs actresses who knows what she's doing. Can sing, can dance, ambitious, got what it takes, american, she'll make it far, I reckon.

From what I know barely from Khairul's blog, I only can hope you will pick yourself up and make do with whatever you have at this moment. Whatever shit you're going through, I wish I understood, but I don't, am in no position to comment, but sincerely hope you get over it quick. Hope this lightens things up? "If a rat cares, loves, understands, treasures, and knows a fat cat's woes, then let's not care about who woos who".

The other day, I dreamt about going late for TSD practicals. Arrived at the time when I'm up for exams. Mr Teo Gene-En was in the costume room, stealing something from someone's bag, but I had no time and asked him to help me do make-up, then I forgot to bring costume. It was a weird disaster.

The other day, Tabithan's PE teacher passed away while jogging with his wife. Life is unpredictable.

The other day, I jogged at Bishan Park and realised I am capable of jogging auto-pilot. I yawned and almost fell asleep in the middle of the run, not the start, not the end. The middle.

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, June 15, 2005 | Permalink

ECONS SUCKS! I FEEL HEAVY.

Just watched A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT. French movies have very good, intriguing endings and this one kind of worked for me although there was a lot of narration and plot swerves. In France, you can just throw a girl and a guy into a garden, let them talk and you've got a movie.

I'm always impressed by love-making scenes because how in the world is someone supposed to 1) groan 2) give passion to a stranger 3) make it seem like you enjoy it 4) do it in front of at least 50 people at the set 5) care less about family and spouse 6) do 10 takes to perfect the scene ALL AT THE SAME TIME??!!

Posted by Brandon at Monday, June 13, 2005 | Permalink

I was surfing blogs and frienster accounts and MAN!, we all have different life stories to tell. All the photos of people with different backgrounds. It's a dynamic blendpot. I think in a few decades' time, at a time when people start thinking about death, I want my photos to be a splay of images - theatre, adventure, speed, university, NS. Adventure more than anything else. I see one photo of me in a backpack against a background of snow, with a few friends in UV sunglasses. One, swimming in a river in Malaysia. Another, on a rockwall or canoe. The most memorable, me embracing the world.

Everytime I read reports of people going round the world, sailing or cycling or driving, I have this urge to do it. Just leave everything behind and DO IT! You have a 100 days ALL to yourself. With only one goal in mind. I think I will find MY true calling, a fine purpose for my existence. Independence gives aspirations. I need a life where I'm always on the move. Always on the lookout for the RIGHT ANSWERS.

Ms Lian showed us this phenomnal video about creativity. I started laughing at the beginning because I thought it'd be another of her attempts to inspire. BUT this one INSPIRED. I found some answers in it. Someday, everybody STOP!!! STOP EVERY ACTION, EVERY MOVEMENT. And listen to everything. And I think we'll find the tree beneath the waterfall - the true essence of life. FALLING in love with LIFE, because life is a fountain of passion, not a man-made tap of cold chickens, flowers, report cards, speakers, computers, rings.

I think MS LIAN rocks. Because beneath an exterior, there is an interior.

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, June 11, 2005 | Permalink

"What do you want to be in your future job?" Tabithan just asked me this.

Mr Pym laughed! MOE officials laughed! It was amazing. The energy was high, there was lots of fun to play around with, juniors were hyped up. Everything sort of fell into place, DESPITE US FOR THE 10th TIME SKIPPING A CHUNK! But it actually worked out. In Pym's words, "Thanks for ending the day with such a repertoire - a comedy". DUOLOGUE is GOOD! From changing characters with Cho (Thanks BUDDY CHO!, but you won't be reading this), having super duper low energy runs which worried us, over-rehearsed slots, it just came to this! The normacy of the audience shocked us.

MONOLOGUE was quite off. It's another of those runs where you know people are bored from peripheral vision - examiners shifting their bodies, fidgeting, breathing harder. And you feel like stopping then and there, and leaving. BUT I think I gave it my best!

Over. Over already. Don't want to feel empty. Don't want to feel directionless. I am very good at avoiding thoughts. OUT! (But somehow, if you never anticipated it, the impact of the fall will be greater, no?) This is wonderful, and it's as good as it gets. Rock on TSD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Went for hilarious Mr and Mrs Smith with hilarious Dawn, Cho and Crystal. It was yea, as expected very SLEEK. Chop pop rop, ching! Very swift, direct and vroom-boom. Angelina Jolie is quite a godess. She can just sit there and pout those fat lips, loosen her hair, not say anything, and it can all hold itself. Same for Brad Pitt. Both speak quite "lazily", quite without effort, but it's all so cool, SLEEK and vroom-boom. Crystal's idea of a sequel with Mrs Smith going undercover as a pregnant spy was ... interesting, but nonetheless very Crystal.

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, June 09, 2005 | Permalink

POWER RANGERS - You laugh at yourself for being such a child and watching 6 adults armed with toys fighting ugly monsters with the same agenda each episode, but with the same fate every episode - a slash of the monster sword from the monster sheath of the monster force of good. The "megazord" turns to face the screen as the evil monster crumbles into a ball of flames and heap of ashes. The music plays on, "You mighty, morphin' power range,eeee,ers!"

I was holding on to the Econs notes I was trying to assimilate, but almost fully enamoured by the force of the POWER RANGERS. POWER RANGERS - ORIGINAL, not the later versions, it's my childhood version. It has this appeal that transcends age, intellectual status, gender, nationality..., as Tabithan and I watched, transfixed. Secretly, we egg on the good people. When I was young at 6 or 7, I never questioned why POWER RANGERS always won? Why the POWER RANGERS couldn't morph into big monsters to step on and squash instantaneously the small evil creatures that haven't grown into big proportions yet? Why the POWER RANGERS never pressed the symbol thing on the chest of the Puttis to kill them quickly but always resorted to fanciful moves? (the slave-like grey-clothed people who appear suddenly but always kena dissipated) Why these teenagers had to dress the colour of their Ranger? Why there was always nobody in the parks, beaches or roads where fighting happened?

This morning as I found myself hooked on the VCDs, I questioned so many new things, which as a child I probably found it worthless to answer or find out about. We have to face it - the episodes have the exact makings of a disaster - the formulate monster-is-created, good-triumphs-over-evil, power-rangers-save-the-world blahblah. Elements of drama or fresh pages of conflict - virtually non-existent! BUT IT CAPTURES, IT IMPRESSES and IT IS AMAZING!

I had very delightful memories with POWER RANGERS, I have to admit. The movie, the megazords which evolved, the new rangers, Lord Zedd, Rita... This feels like Xi Jie's DS, but ALL HAIL POWER RANGERS!!!

Posted by Brandon at Monday, June 06, 2005 | Permalink

I feel like a Jumbo Curry Puff now. The big, thick-crust Jumbo Curry Puff sitting in the oven of 7-eleven. Quite filled with potatoes and hard chicken, but also quite empty, filled with air. Placed into a plastic bag, slipped off the shelf, carried to another place.

Group is FINALLY over. I admire how I just ramped myself into today's piece, despite feeling the most lousy in my recent bouts of illnesses. My throat was awful and the coughs kept coming, the nonsensically itcy feeling behind your mouth. I remember how when Mr Pym walked out, we just all sat where we were, not knowing what to say, feel or do. Walking into the interview, coming out, and STILL not knowing what to feel. Good run bad run? Disappointed happy? Go celebrate or stay to chat? It was an ambiguous day for me.

I was tired. Dammit, I was tired. Sat on the rattan chair and just wanted to lie there forever, with the make-up still there, the memory still fresh in my mind. The constant questioning, the intense bickering, the fun warm-ups, the disputes that came from nowhere... I AM A CURRY PUFF. BUT DON"T EAT ME.

Posted by Brandon at Friday, June 03, 2005 | Permalink