Wednesday, March 31, 2004

I walked home tilted at an unexaggerated angle of 30 degrees. Serious. My stomach was heavily bloated. I wanted comfort but I got hell. I promised myself never to have buffets in my entire life. I thought I had the stamina and strength to pass this one at sakae sushi, since I had always emerged victorious at all major buffets. Turned out I was defeated. But enjoyed the meal with Boonzkit and Mel-san. Had some ulu ulu non-alcoholic cocktail that tasted like cough medicine, had trainee Margarita squeeze us lemons, damaged the entire sakae computer system by a click of the mouse, made varied concoctions, farted at jokes, mocked at the manager, all in ess than 2 hours. Had great fun catching up with boonz too.

Investiture. It was a well-done job. But the feeling was different. The prefectorial board and students' council together under the big umbrella of the students' leader board. Just didn't feel right. And the Ex-Co, we did a cat high cheer which silenced the whole hall. SO COOL! We showed them what we could do. And we did the vj cheer at the canteen which I enjoyed. And ululu Keng Phang go and dance solo vj mass dance in front of the st nicks people. But it was again so fun!!

Still feeling the bloat...

Tuesday, March 30, 2004

Finally found a monologue!!! Suddenly I just feel so rejuvenated. Reading it again and again. Some ideas just keep popping up. I can almost see it happening already. Haiz, and I really felt rejuvenated, a new gush of energy coming to me. It's like I found a Moulin Rouge collectible or something.

And yes, tomorrow is investiture. Cat High just rox lar.

Finally found a monologue!!! Suddenly I just feel so rejuvenated. Reading it again and again. Some ideas just keep popping up. I can almost see it happening already. Haiz, and I really felt rejuvenated, a new gush of energy coming to me. It's like I found a Moulin Rouge collectible or something.

I was slammed by Mrs Low on the monologue I chose.

I'm confused. I'm just confused about life.

Monday, March 29, 2004

Today, I was having Gp Lessons at the Comp Lab when I dropped a computer keyboard for the second time. Mr Chew said something like that in class, "Are you trying to grab attention? Don't worry, we all empathise with you." That was too weird an answer. Way too weird for an accidental act of dropping a keyboard. I knew something must have happened. Either I was transferred out of vj or he read my blog. It was the latter I rendered.

I finally got my monologue. Thanks to Pei Sze. : ) I really like the piece and hope no major objections from the teachers come my way.

MusicFest tickets all sold out lar! They decided to announce the venue to purchase tickets at around 5 o'clock. So you could see people rushing like mad dogs once the words "Outside Council Room" were uttered over the PA. MusicFest is big in VJ. Very big. I really envy the finalists! It's a great chance to showcase talents!

Arhh! My mum wants me to wear a clothing underneath my uniform to school! And she bought three singlets for me to wear. Because the sweat glands at my chest are especially active, she says the singlet will help reduce sweat. I doubt so. I think it will bring me more perspiration. I don't know, but I will listen to my dear mum. Thanks mum!

Sunday, March 28, 2004

Lynn: wish i could be there to help, but i had to leave lah. No choice..but keep me updated with things okay? I'm missing YC with wendy already.
Lynn: In any case, i think you have talent and can do a better job than a few of them there. Oh and don't worry about the accent thing, you sound fine.
Lynn: Trust me on that, give people a chance to know you. Hey man, i know nuts about clubbing and smoking and shit, but you don't have to bend your own moral standards to fit theirs.
Lynn: It'll go away, especially when production comes nearer and you get closer to everyone.
Lynn: Hey bub, about what you saidbeing the youngest and everything in the company, don't worry about that. Because I felt the exact same way last year. I was in the same position.


I saw Lynn's comments on the tagboard. Couldn't help but cry. I just felt so sad. I don't usually cry for no reason, but seeing someone identify with me really moves me. Sometimes I feel so alone, I'm so scared. It bothers me. Joining the Young Company has always been my dream and now this sense of solitude, not knowing how to handle this stuff, groping around in the horrifying darkness just get me so flustered and tired. I'm sick, and so damn tired. How I wish I could just kill myself. How I wish I could have someone to talk to. How I wish I had a friend who really knows all these. I said I will conquer this, but I'm probably just too afraid to face it. This Young Company dream has proven too big for my shoes. I really am lost and hoping someone could really understand. Really.

Anw, thanks a million, Lynn for all you've said and all you've done to help me in the Young Company. It meant a lot. I guess I'm on my own now.

Sometimes, you try so hard you don't want to continue. Sometimes, it just seems so impossible. I'm out and down. Everytime I try, I'm denied. Everytime I smile, I hope it's received. But you just don't feel it coming. I just have no idea what life holds for me.

Saturday, March 27, 2004

Keng Phang said this, "Brandon, I think you cannot commit to vj drama because you just don't want to put down ch drama." It was so true. I was looking for this, this underlying element of thought, and at last Keng Phang scoured my mind and found it for me. Shawn Teo was chatting with me about the lacklustre standard of cj's drama club and how he missed ch drama. As if to make things worse, now even Wendy has to leave. Things will never be the same again. Although we only got a silver, it meant the world to us, as a company and as a bunch of close friends and actors.

Young Company today. 10.45am, Debra held a workshop for a bunch of kids from 8 to 14 years of age. I've always loved kids, so I decided to volunteer, alongside Sara, Liz and Luke, to help guide the kids. My fatherly instinct just oozed out. Kids are a wonderful thing. I want a lot of them in the future. Maybe a few. I remember when I was 8, drama was almost nothing to me. I wasn't exposed to it at all at that tender age, and devoting myself to it so religiously never did cross my mind.

3 pm, Young Co training started. What a day. Very emotional day for everyone. But anyway I felt really out today. I began to realise I'm kinda extra in this company. I have the least experience, I was the youngest and know nuts about clubbing, smoking and taking drugs, I can't put on an accent when I speak conversationally, I just don't fit in. Haiz. I think I'm just a little kid trying to worm myself in. But I've not given up hope, like I did at orientation. I will make it. I wanna show them I'm different in a positive way.

Arh, that felt good. Blogging helps release stress.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

The aftermath of last night's limited sleep took its toll on me. Mr Harris was picking on me because 1) I was the Lit Rep and did not answer the question he directed to the 4 Lit Reps in the lecture theatre, 2) My mouth was open (my mouth is always agape by default), 3) My eyes were half shut. He's a bizzare man with unconventional thoughts, but I still don't understand the reverence subjected to him by fellow students and collegues. I don't get the jokes he tries so hard to make us laugh with.

PE was fun. Played badminton. Then Geog, then GP, then ... Had tsd GM. I guess the new intakers must have been shocked by the intensity and rage brewing in the studio as the seniors hurled their advice and voiced their views on us for the prelims. Most got As and Bs and I'm really glad for them!

Went back to Cat High at night to see the councillors (and prefects, uh hmm). A lot of planning to do for their investiture. Although some dissatifactory demerits were observed, I guess that's all part of the learning process, especially after such revolutionary, yet controversial change in the entire student leader system. As I spewed opinions on their planning, I actually began to miss the old days when the exco would come together and discuss activities and have fun whilst bonding. The SC...haizzz

: ). Yea~ And sleep is all you need. Now.

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

I'm here to apologize for writing that insensitive remark about dominic and liying. The same playfulness that got in trouble with nj got me in the soup again. Sorry dominic, don't be angry k! A joke that went too far.

Today, I sat at orientation totally stunned and stoned. I wish Anisah all the best for her stay in aj. We will miss you and please do come back to visit us. Our new classmates came and they looked pretty clueless from their expressions. But then again, A55 began like that too, so it's only natural that they go through the same phase.

Had lunch with first-intakers. Then went to Cho's house with Crystal and Zhon Yun. Played bridge, slept on his sofa on the second storey and just lazed around. It's a huge house. But seems hollow.

Tired. Yea~.

Tuesday, March 23, 2004

"You come over here! You stay there, Melvin you step aside. It's embarassing for you!"

There I was being berated by Melvin's CT Tutor, Mr MARTIN CHEW, a name I'll never forget in my life. I don't know whether I should applaud his meticulous sense of inquiry or blame him for today's disastrous gate-crash into njc. It was a horrifying experience, my body was numb with adrenaline and I felt weak and defeated at the end as I took a slow trudge out of the jc of my nightmare.

First, my dumb wits and faithful belief in YY's, Dominic's and Melvin's words led me blindly into the Civics Lesson. "OK, first intakers, you all can go to the canteen, all second intakers, please stay I want to mark attendance and brief you on the school rules." My blood froze.

Five people stayed behind.
"Cecilia? (not her real name)"
"Here."
"Jane? (not her real name)"
"Here."
"Bob (not his real name)"
"Here."
"Nicholas Chee (his real name)"
"Here."
There was a moment of silence.

"So who are you? What's your name?"
"Brandon. Brandon Ho."
"O? Your name is not in the register? You registered?"
My blood couldn't melt. It remained more frozen then ever. I decided to play the game, but I realised right after that it was the biggest mistake of my life.
"No, I was sick. I didn't register. I think I will go check with the Admin Lady?"
I tried to stand up and walk off. But!
"No, stop right there!"
I was stunned. I thought he was gonna grill me. I knew that was it. I was ready!
"Hey! Do you know you need an mc for not coming to school?"
I sighed an invisible sigh of relief.

Then things got worse. Mr MARTIN CHEW helped me ask the Admin Lady to help me register. I knew I had to stop this act, but the consequences seemed too immense to handle. Melvin helped and was an unwilling accomplice. But his efforts proved worthless as MR MARTIN CHEW was sooooooo efficient. My name eventually reached the vp who will supposedly register for me.

Then Mel decided to admit to him. I got a thorough tongue slash. Indeed I was guilty for making a mess out of the situation and I was truthfully sorry. I was scolded, and the other students were like staring at the whole thing. I thought I deserved worse punishment, but he was kind enough to help erase my name off the list to the vp and eradicate all the tracks I had left in nj. Gate-crashing has now a whole new meaning to me.

NJ was kinda boring but I was too busy trying to get out of the situation to even immerse myself into the culture, if there was ever one. Besides collecting easy-to-find evidence of the infatuation between Liying and Dominic, Voodoo's nerdy girl, and eating nice food while chatting, I was basically bored, but the adrenaline was still running through my veins.

Monday, March 22, 2004

O it felt great walking out of orientation today. I almost slapped myself when I exited. Ironic, maybe. My life's always an irony. Again, this bloody piece of shit had walked out. He had no guts to face the programme, branded exciting and a must-go. He decided to leave alone and vanish into thin air. It sucks. Councillors positioned at the gate were slacking and I walked out of the school nonchalantly. They said nothing. I don't blame them. I know exactly how they feel, having been a faithful, dogged councillor before. Sometimes, it's just too hard to tell a fellow peer things he or she doesn't wanna hear. As I sat on the bus, I simply couldn't help it. What's this thing pinching me out of reality? Why am I not living my life? Why am I so anti-social?

Cho's left. My good friend. Hope he returns. Anisah and Kumar and Angela, praying for you too. : )

Felt like shit when I returned to Cat High. The school has changed. So much I don't even recognise myself. I can't imagine myself in that school - anymore. The past will stay with me. Now, the prefects and councillors are all under one Mr Toh. All previous roots of the council are gone with Hak Boon's iron fist. I don't even know whether we will be invited to the investiture this year. The school's now snatched, deprived of warmth. It's just slabs of stone built for so-called education purposes. The prefects are useless, they didn't even catch me when I didn't have my badge, nametag and proper school shoes. The uniform has changed. The examinations have changed. I silently mourn for the erosion of the good old days.

Sunday, March 21, 2004

Orientation. It's back. The fears of Orientation 1 are conjuring up my mind already. I don't wanna go back! NO! That feeling was so darn scary, and I would die if I were to live it again. Luckily Nicole was there to help. I don't know what's wrong with me, this Orientation thing is pricking me so hard. This heavy pressure inside getting to me once I heard tomorrow will be Orientation all over again. I think it's meeting new people once again. It always happens. It hurts. It's getting me so down again. I shake my head in disbelief, those few days of Orientation 1. I can't believe I'd survived those days. Now, it's back.

Call me paranoid, call me dumbdumb, but you don't know what it's like.

Saturday, March 20, 2004

I'm burping now and then. The aftertaste of the kfc whipped potato still lingers in my mouth. A whole large bowl, I finished it, that's besides the yong tao fu, sugarcane juice, fried chicken wing... Decided to skip the marina dinner and went to AMK for dinner. Mel bought his discman finally. A slick/sleek panasonic one. The weird thing is the cd stops spinning a while and continues its revolution after a few seconds before stopping again. Very nice discman, but I was secretly hoping it was sturdier and slimmer.

The marina dinner, I heard that the majority going are 2-7ians. Moreover, a lot of people backed out the last minute and some conflicts (not to mention names) involving Yi Yang deterred me too. :P

I beg for everyone's forgiveness. (I just felt like saying this, sorry.) I've been talking too much I think, till I find it straining to the throat. How on earth can you just talk and find it hard on your throat? See, I'm talking TOO much. Maybe on the way I've said a lot of stuff which has triggered unease and discomfort. I hope I've offended no one in the process. I just find it hard to please everyone. Words are such powerful things.

Arh I can't believe it! I can't! The holidays are nearing over, and Sunday is the day I will try to clear all undone homework. Hopefully attainable that is. It feels like it's all just started. This feeling. There's this little buzz going on. I can't keep my excitement contained too. The new intake - see you at vj!

Friday, March 19, 2004

Keith and Samuel had been to hospital this week. Hope they recover quickly. Being to hospital is scary. Especially when your life is on the line. I'm not a fan of hospitals. I lost my grandmother at one. I remember that moment when she just breathed her last. It was a huge period of anguish for me as I struggled to stay strong. It was that small space, with 5 to 7 family members surrounding her. My mother embraced the cold body and brought it close to her. Tears were already welling up in some eyes, while storms had already been brewing in others. That's why I avoid visiting hospitals.

Cho's dad is in hospital too. Don't give up Jonathan! You will tide through this time. Will pray for you. "In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky." : )

Thursday, March 18, 2004

I was enjoying the holidays. Finally I was doing something I'd actually found to miss. Slacking the day away watching scv, listening to music and surfing, going out, shopping, playing pool. Then Wednesday had to come. Drama Club. It was a dreadful journey to school, as I sat in the bus lamenting about my future in drama. At the end of the session at 6, we managed to churn out 2 scenes after a few hours of warm-ups. I'm beginning to picture myself in drama club, getting involved, all again from scratch in preparation for syf. I have nothing to complain about. I remember how alone and weird when I first joined chs drama club, but it all turned out far better than expected and more fabulous the journey grew. As hard as I struggle to find that same feeling once again, I doubt I will, but I will not say die. Anyway, things always turn out the unexpected way.

After drama, KP and I wandered along the beaches of east coast in accompany of Mr Lim Hui Mum as he searched for his long-lost friends who upon first sight of the gentle giant, all hollered in disbelief, "O my god, is that you? So thin!" As he basked in the limelight, KP and I sneaked off, tired after trekking past seafood restaurants and smoky barbecue pits.

Today went to daniel's house to make present for joel and later went to JB. Went around shopping and trying on clothes, but I found my body too awfully shaped for the clothes. The mirror scares me. O that can't be me! Had to surrender. Walked off with zero clothes purchase, instead smuggled home and listened to five cds to defuse all stress that has culminated in a heap of mess.

Monday, March 15, 2004

MTV is so damn cool. I began watching mtv in the morning because there was simply no other channel that was showing any decent things. O I was glued. I know the programmes centre around romance, fear and fun. Sounds shallow but I liked how it brought me into another arena, another part of life, which Singaporean channels seem to be unable to offer. It was just media novelty and programme innovation at its best. MTV.

Went for pool again at pool factor. Lady Luck was with me. Made a few unprecedented records, for myself evidently. I hope Mr Addiction doesn't look me up this time, like how he cajoled me into bowling a year ago.

Went to Chong Pang for dinner. Mrs Neo called Andy and now, I have to return to school tomorrow to type some things for her! My impression of helping her was teaching the Sec. 3s or 4s, not typing some frivolous documents. Nevertheless, I shall hang on. Anyway my mood's really good during the holidays. Fine.

Went for pool at pool factor with andy, ttk, alex shieh, samuel. Met shawn there. Pool's fun, but it gets on your nerves sometimes. You scream sometimes. You move strangely sometimes. You laugh like hell. Maybe it isn't you, it's just me.

Went to popeye's chicken for dinner and chatted at the basement. When we weren't stuffing condoms into fridges or hiding from the claws of Osama, we were sitting in a conspicuous area talking till the cows came home. I inordinately enjoyed the outing.

This holiday is the most slack one I'd had since Secondary 1! Yea~! Only need to go back to school on Wednesday and Friday for drama, Thursday to JB, Saturday to Marina South. That's all that's planned. Book time with me! Let's go out!

Saturday, March 13, 2004

A hearty sleep. It was a great night of sleep. Woke up to a brand new day. The air smelt fresher and I felt better.

Young Co. showcase was so damn good! Loved all the performances! Loved them! Many directors came to watch the performances to spot talents. Saw Dick Lee and many SRT actors (many from THE ODD COUPLE). That was the time when I thought the show was on. It was a great great great run. I was extremely shocked when Mark, Wendy and Debra came up to me and talked to me about my performance.

Mark: "Brandon, this is the best I've seen you so far. Great job. But from now on, I think you must open up more in rehearsals and workshops and learn to relax. And break off from that little boy role and take on man roles! You must learn to go on k?" Wow, he knows my name! Haha~, very glad at what he said and actually agreed with most of it. He's a nice guy, but I have never worked with him before! (Actually got lar, once when he came to cat high to direct my scene in Second Class.)

Debra: "O Brandon. Good job. I believed you. But you hadn't been practising on your own? It seems like you've not done it in weeks." Debra's the main director for my monologue. She's a typical physical director, who incorporates a lot of actions and movements in the simplest and dullest scripts. I appreciated her comments and felt gratified. I'm beginning to warm up to her.

Wendy: "You're a star, Branz. Well done." I melted. I was so happy. Wendy has always been my "mother" in theatre. I've worked with her in many ways from Sec. 2 onwards. She will remain the best director in my heart, always so jovial and motherly. She's leaving for further studies. I'm feeling really bad. It's like losing the person who had always been leading you on and on and giving you opportunities and valuable support all the time. Her flame will burn in my heart always. :) Wish her luck in the future. Now I'm on my own I guess. Cya my friend.

A hearty sleep. It was a great night of sleep. Woke up to a brand new day. The air smelt fresher and I felt better.

Young Co. showcase was so damn good! Loved all the performances! Loved them! I was extremely shocked when Mark, Wendy and Debra came up to me and talked to me about my performance.

Mark: "Brandon, this is the best I've seen you so far. Great job. But from now on, I think you must open up more in rehearsals and workshops and learn to relax. And break off from that little boy role and take on man's roles! You must learn to go on k?" Wow, he knows my name! Haha~, very glad at what he said and actually agreed with most of it. He's a nice guy, but I have never worked with him before! (Actually got lar, once when he came to cat high to direct my scene in Second Class.)

Debra: "O Brandon. Good job. I believed you. But you hadn't been practising on your own? It seems like you've not done it in weeks." Debra's the main director for my monologue. She's a typical physical director, who incorporates a lot of actions and movements in the simplest and dullest scripts. I appreciated her comments and felt gratified. I'm beginning to warm up to her.

Wendy: "You're a star, Branz. Well done." I melted. I was so happy. Wendy has always been my "mother" in theatre. I've worked with her in many ways from Sec. 2 onwards. She will remain the best director in my heart, always so jovial and motherly. She's leaving for further studies. I'm feeling really bad. It's like losing the person who had always been leading you on and on and giving you opportunities and valuable support all the time. Her flame will burn in my heart always. :) Wish her luck in the future. Now I'm on my own I guess.

I'm back, and so thankful it's all over. So damn tired and finally tonight I can sleep well, for as long as I want. The ISes mostly went very well. And I felt proud to be a member of the best subject you will ever find.

Crystal's IS (Costume) : Basically in charge of switching off house lights and shining torch on Mrs Low's desk. That's all. Slacked the most here. Crystal did very well with her knowledge and presentation of facts on her chosen costume materials. 3/5!

Jayne's IS (Costume) : Voiceover as a certain character in a scene in Midsummer Night's Dream and lightings person. The voiceover was a little song. As usual, people were amused and taken aback by my singing. Even model Angela was containing her laughter. I'm not promoting myself, just feeling strange that I can't find a way to sing that sounds presentable so that people won't laugh. It went well except for some slips. We missed one entire scene, had a couple of technical faults, but they never caught the eyes of the examiners. 2.5/5!

Cheryl's IS (Dramatic Sequence) : Acting as King Lear in Chinese Opera style and singing lullabies. It was a poor run, and Cheryl's anxiety showed. A lot of screw ups, like forgetting to get props from workshop, radio breakdown, cue errors etc. Questions posed to Cheryl were well answered, but noticeable panting made her points weaker. Enjoyed but feeling a little guilty over the slips. 2.5/5!

Adeline's IS (Puppetry) : Liang Shan Bo in Butterfly lovers. Nice nice nice. The rest of the crew are very wonderful people whom I enjoyed working with. Stress-free environment whilst enjoying. Turned out quite comical. Presentation of puppets was impressive. Very well-read senior. 4/5!

Gen's IS (Dramatic Sequence) : A Prince in Kabuki style. Loved the set and style and dramatic effect. Most pressurizing IS, as most time clashes occurred here. Yet, I heard it was a really good piece. All that marching and walking with legs apart (twice shoulder length apart) made me tremble a lot. But most satisfying. Best run out of the rehearsals. "Ohemesama!" 4/5!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All these days when I wasn't online, it seems lots of things have happened. The Shawn Samuel saga, the jc and poly struggles etc... A whirlwind. But stay calm and cool...

Holidays are here! Eagerly awaiting 4-4 gathering and some chalet thingy. I can't believe it's holidays already! Yea~! To those who have asked, I'm doing really fine in school. Thanks for the concern, I just need all the sleep I can get and all the fibre I should consume to prevent constipation and set the fluids back in operating mode. ~

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

I'm lovin' it. Ba ba ba ra ba! I'm lovin;' it!

News that the cut-off point for entry into vj is 6 alarmed us. It's most likely true, because different sources have confirmed the same suspicion. But it's more likely that science's cut-off is 6 and art's cut-off is 7. Arh, vj's getting better...I hope it doesn't get top college this year, but then it won't, luckily. I don't wanna study in a TOP college...:)

Slots again. I've nothing to say. Ba ba ba ra ba!

Mr Chew's made a touching speech in class. I learnt to appreciate the people around me more as I reflect on the fleeting three months that has passed me by.

IRONY: As time passes, one sees a lot more into someone's character. True colours are emerging from beneath broken masks. I hate to say it. The goodness of a seemingly perfect picture is marred by unnoticable but present flaws, manifested in a disgusting manner. What you think about people for whatever first three months is all crap, the people who really sincerely cares show themselves very furtively, almost secretly. It takes time to judge a book only when you flip through the pages. That is what I'd learnt from experiencing it for myself. But nevertheless school remains a place to mingle, just gotta be careful not to be pricked by your own thorns.

Monday, March 08, 2004

Today was a FULL DAY off! Yea! But it didn't mean anything because it was a whole day of slots. Slot after slot. Then slot after slot. I'm sick of this. My flu has decided to return after a momentary cease. The rain's getting to me. I'm seriously tired. It's another of those times you feel you need time for yourself again. But when you decide to, the computer's lure turns out to be too great to reject and homework seems to be waiting so patiently for me.

Guess who I saw? Louisa! The relief Geog teacher branded the bitch who sashays! She returned last week and will stay in Singapore for good. Saw her with her boyfriend. And she lives just opposite my block in 221! Was walking hurriedly home under the incessant rain when someone called out.
"Brandon?"
(turned back and scrutinized)"Err..."
"Ms Ng here!"
(suddenly)"Louisa?"
"YEA~! How you doing?"
"I'm fine"....
She's turned out more mature than before. A foreign land shapes you. You always change. Always. I'm kinda taken aback that she still managed to recognise me. Who was I to her? If I were her, I would have long forgotten! But it surprises me really.

I hate to lament. But WORLD~, I'm VERY TIRED!

Today was a FULL DAY off! Yea! But it didn't mean anything because it was a whole day of slots. Slot after slot. Then slot after slot. I'm sick of this. My flu has decided to return after a momentary cease. The rain's getting to me. I'm seriously tired. It's another of those times you feel you need time for yourself again. But when you decide to, the computer's lure turns out to be too great to reject and homework seems to be waiting so patiently for me.

Guess who I saw? Louisa! The relief Geog teacher branded the bitch who sashays! She returned last week and will stay in Singapore for good. Saw her with her boyfriend. And she lives just opposite my block in 221! Was walking hurriedly home under the incessant rain when someone called out.
"Brandon?"
(turned back and scrutinized)"Err..."
"Ms Ng here!"
(suddenly)"Louisa?"
"YEA~! How you doing?"
"I'm fine"....
She's turned out more mature than before. A foreign land shapes you. You always change. Always. I'm kinda taken aback that she still managed to recognise me. Who was I to her? If I were her, I would have long forgotten! But it surprises me really.

Sunday, March 07, 2004

Nobody

A light pierced through the dim morning.
A star glittered in the clear night sky.
Bushes saluted and bowed,
Trees sweet and bright.

Slicing a way out of nonentity,
Crazy about its own identity.
Rainbow or lightning,
Paint or rust.

Knocking door after door,
No more doors to knock.
It hit the bell,
No more sounds to sound.

It hides.
It plays.
Rainbow or lightning,
Paint or rust.

A light pierced through the dim morning.
A star glittered in the clear night sky.
Bushes saluted and bowed,
Trees sweet and bright.

Slicing a way out of nonentity,
Crazy about its own identity.
Rainbow or lightning,
Paint or rust.

Knocking door after door,
No more doors to knock.
It hit the bell,
No more sounds to sound.

It hides.
It plays.
Rainbow or lightning,
Paint or rust.

Saturday, March 06, 2004

I'm finally back in blog action after a few days of stagnancy. TSD is fun, but eats up a huge portion of your free time. Almost gonna burst out screaming, with non-stop drilling holes in puppets, making fireflies, lacquering leaves, churning colourful balls of class. It's driving me nuts, but I can make it through the rain.

VJ did very well for A Levels! Heard that Monday is an off-day. Yea~. Slots resume as usual, so it's another late night. I'm hoping to catch some sleep before noon, so that I remain a human.

Went out at noon after slots today. Shopped and walked around Peninsular Plaza area and ate the worst bowl of pig organ noodles I've ever had in my life. So little and poor customer service. I'm really picky, for that afternoon was hot and fiery, my temper wasn't exactly at its best. In fact it was at its worst, because I couldn't find a place to sleep for a decent hour. The heavy traffic, the tall buildings radiating heat, the hot woks spewing steam, everything was against me.

Had full dress rehearsal at young co. Was thinking about what to do after the rehearsal, then Mel called.

Met Samuel and Melvin at J8. I realise you always talk better to your secondary school friends. Had a hearty chat and left feeling satisfied. Laughed quite a lot. Blissful night, everybody. Gotta sleep, tomorrow still got school. :)

I'm finally back in blog action after a few days of stagnancy. TSD is fun, but eats up a huge portion of your free time. Almost gonna burst out screaming, with non-stop drilling holes in puppets, making fireflies, lacquering leaves, churning colourful balls of class. It's driving me nuts, but I can make it through the rain.

VJ did very well for A Levels! Heard that Monday is an off-day. Yea~. Slots resume as usual, so it's another late night. I'm hoping to catch some sleep before noon, so that I remain a human.

Went out at noon after slots today. Shopped and walked around Peninsular Plaza area and ate the worst bowl of pig organ noodles I've ever had in my life. So little and poor customer service. I'm really picky, for that afternoon was hot and fiery, my temper wasn't exactly at its best. In fact it was at its worst, because I couldn't find a place to sleep for a decent hour. The heavy traffic, the tall buildings radiating heat, the hot woks spewing steam, everything was against me.

Had full dress rehearsal at young co. Was thinking about what to do after the rehearsal, then Mel called.

Met Samuel and Melvin at J8. I realise you always talk better to your secondary school friends. Had a hearty chat and left feeling satisfied. Laughed quite a lot. Blissful night, everybody. Gotta sleep, tomorrow still got school. :)

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Someone pissed me off big time. I was really really disturbed. It hurt quite a bit and the afternoon sucked for me. How insensitive some people can get when they are high up in their head. I was wondering why it struck me so hard when it was a mere sentence. I'm just a jerk who uses such things to garner sympathy. Today sucked to the core.

Spinned around in Ang Mo Kio alone. Had to buy cloth, return library books, buy a pair of office trousers and get a pair of shoes. I was feeling tired after the long bus ride and having so many errands to run at a shitty 8pm on a humid night at AMK, I felt lousy like hell.

I should sleep. Sleep is all I need. Tomorrow, I'll be a new me. Stay tuned.

Wednesday, March 03, 2004

Bloody hell. Went to some ulu ulu Rochester Park place for the first filming session. Waited for 30 minutes, then went to make-up. All ready. Then Assistant Director comes in and says some scenes are cancelled, and coincidentally my scenes were the ones axed. Reason being the episode was overrun for a full 3 to 4 hours, and some changes had to be done to the script. I had to pack up, remove my make-up and leave silently since all the other cast members still had parts to film. It was kinda dumb, coz that place is miles from my home. But I still got my pay. Come to think of it, I leached off the production crew, without acting and still getting some dough for attendance. Cool, but seriously looking for the start of this whole thing.

Had Cheryl's slot today, back into the lights and sound box. This time, I'm stage manager! Very stressing lar. I'm acting for Gen's IS, singing and lighting for Jayne's IS, and not sure what Crystal wants me to do for her IS. Next week is hell week. Only saving grace is that it's the last week!

Ruth, Audrey and Yu Hui were suddenly sparked into speaking about masturbation which was awkward, because I happened to be the only guy in the room. After hearing some information and impressions they had on masturbation, specific to male masturbation,(which I prefer not to disclose) I was eager to correct all of their misconceptions, but I found it weird because I was the only guy in the room, so I decided to leave as they continued talking about it, like children learning ABC. One classic moment was:

RUTH: "Eh, I heard guys masturbate because they don't want to have wet dreams." (Brandon's jaw drops) "If they don't masturbate for a very long time, they will have wet dreams, it's like us having periods, it's a must for every guy!"

(Brandon's jaw dropped again.)

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

A lot of people crashed into vj today. Saw a few new faces. Today, my life is crap. There is nothing worth mentioning.

Monday, March 01, 2004

Today was a spin! Disappointment came from MusicFest. Our duet didn't get in. My solo didn't get in. So sad, Rebekah and I were expecting something. Really anticipating. But our hopes were held too high. But congrats to Helen who drummed and Nurul who belly danced her way through to the semis. Get into the finals k! And do A55 proud!

Mrs Chua shocked me today. "So, the next person to answer the question is...arh...Brandon. The good student!" I was like, "Freak!" Stop that! I'm a human being, and am not your pet. you don't call me good in front of the class like I'm a good, loyal, faithful, obliging dog. Now that the Chinese Department has sounded possibility that they may be setting up an 'A' Level Chinese class, I'm considering dropping Econs (or maybe Geog, for that matter) so that I'll be back to Chinese where I belong. I hate dropping subjects like a wandering soul, but things change and adaptation was a blessing God gave us. So I decided to use it.

Today was the first meeting for the drama serial, Like My Own (It's no longer called The Pilot), and what a blast! I met the cast of the serial, the plot of which I had no idea about. Zhu Mi Mi (from nine-layered kueh, as you know it), Tin (some Thai host who looks utterly familiar yet memory fails me), Florence Chen Hui Shan (the Hong Kong star in Healing Hands), and some other freelance artistes. The cast comes from different places from the region, namely the Philippines, Hong Kong, Thailand, Singapore.

This is definitely a very very refreshing experience! I'm so excited! First time acting among so many big shots and on TV. My role is the brother of Xiao Cai, the Wen Long guy from Robbie and the Book of Tales etc., and I have a few scenes in the show for this weeks filming. I don't even know how the story will go and what role I play. But never mind. After putting on make-up, we took a few shots for the publicity. I heard from the director that I will die in the end. It sucks, but how nice to end my existence in the serial. I'm seriously excited. ~

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