Jolly Folly, Mighty Morphin'

A new year ahead in brand new dimensions. There is no doubt this year has been a (warning:cliche) whirlwind. A very complicated year. Fruitful, experimental, and painful. Three adjectives to round up a year that will pass us by very quickly.

We will soon be the big brothers (and sisters) of VJC. We will soon venture into once again unfamiliar grounds. Before we know it, we would be at the end of these two wonderful JC years, a journey launched at breakneck speed.

Ocean's Twelve. What a mess! What a bore! I think if I were to playback on moments I didn't understand and tear apart the movie, it would take a day. Too cheem for my simple mind. Most of the time, I was asking myself what the hell was going on. I thought I would enjoy it because it sounded cool. Steven Soderbergh's movies are not for me.

I am blessed to have what I had and will continue to strive for a better life. A simple life.

Posted by Brandon at Friday, December 31, 2004 | Permalink

Choir Concert was a great show, but it was seriously marred by two jokers on stage - Jiehui and Brandon. We were playing around quite a lot on stage, making mistakes and helping each other cover up. Somemore got headache and fever after so much lack of sleep. But pulled it off to a rather cool ending, with Gabriel Cheow falling off the steps with much grace and Mr Nelson Kwei receiving thunderous applause.

Filming is FINALLY over. "Ladies and Gentlemen, it's a wrap," we heard over the walkie-talkie. The half-dead crew instantly came to life. It was quite a journey, quite an adventure. Very satisfying.

I once again question how LUCKY and FORTUNATE Singaporeans are in face of natural disasters. And political corruption. And man-made disasters. And drastic weather conditi0ns. This is something I will tell my children in the future. Working has also helped me realise how I should never take life, luck and comfort for granted. Life is a gem, just that Singaporeans get the most finely-cut ones. Life is a knife, Singaporeans happen to receive it on the right end.

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, December 29, 2004 | Permalink

Missing someone is a painful experience. The thought haunts you as and when it decides to strike, and lasts long enough to make an impression, long enough to make you stop what you are thinking and ponder hard, long enough to change what step you are going to take next. Somehow, this person's presence comes in another form. You see a photo from nowhere, you catch a glimpse of the name you thought you never wanted to look at again, you remember things which you have long decided to shelve. It's all back, and haunt is the word I would use once again.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, December 26, 2004 | Permalink

What a Christmas!

There's always this positive energy when it comes to Christmas. An innocent, intricate and warm exchange of something intangible. There is a mutual commonness threaded through the streets, a wild, fiery feeling as if one could reach the sky with everyone else on the noisy roads. Christmas is something very neat, like a well-wrapped present, with no extra ribbon or dogeared corners. It is a season of much sncerity, a unique festive mood that doesn't seem to permeate other celebratory causes.

Christmas Eve was a mad squeeze on the Orchard turf. Ended up dining at Lips Cafe with Christmas friends, Smallboi Samuel, Bigboi Melvin and Mamboboi Alaric, spending the midnight away with really edible food. My favourite whipped potato topped with bolognaise sauce, crispy chicken drenched in black pepper sauce, thick mushroom soup and fragrant Earl Grey tea. Delightful combination and indelible experience. A silent countdown, nevertheless. Away from the rowdy pushing and merry-making, from the incessant spraying of foam cans, from the screams of jubilation. Quiet in a corner, enjoying each other's company and flippig magazines as we sipped on hot tea. If only it was snowing outside, it would have been the perfect Christmas setting.

Other than sleeping quite unknowingly into the depths of the afternoon, Christmas was at Wei Ming's house. Sumptuous, indulgent dinner and computer games that garnered more laughs than excitement.

A smile on my face before I sleep, on this starry starry night. And an immense sense of satisfaction raining over Bishan, and the perfect level of body energy. Not too shagged, not too energetic. Merry Christmas everyone and a New Year ahead, may all enjoy and live life to the fullest. :)

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, December 26, 2004 | Permalink

Raudah and Shariza came to the rescue! Was urgently helping crew look for extras for a shoot today. Needed non-Chinese females (to act like maids chatting on the grass). Thanks so much for the help man! Really!

It's weird, but Day 5 into the shoot, relationships have formed. Friendships I mean. Quite strong ones. Somehow, we all managed to click very well, despite varying degrees of sizes and shapes, characters and strength, race and religion. Day 1, I told myself, GOD! these few people are mad, and I will never get along with them. Day 2, Ok, we talk, we eat, but conversation limited. Day 3, got talk more, know more stuff. Day 4, talk even more, laugh a lot, actually missing the presence of people. Day 5, friends who seem to have known each other for years. It's amazing! It really amazed me. (Reminds me of A55)

School starts soon. Layered alliteration accentuates my excitement.

Posted by Brandon at Friday, December 24, 2004 | Permalink

Some friends appreciate you for who you are and what you have done for them. They are sincere people who make your day and shape your life. A word of thanks or even a subtle goodbye, a sign of gratitude.

Maybe, sometimes, the world is a blind man, holding on to a broken walking stick. Because some of his sons are emotionless and mechanical. Can be good mates but enemies. Perhaps he's only a father who pampers and spoils, brutally degenerating himself for the sake of his dearest ones, unable to save the faltering state of human existence. I am a son, but I find no kin. In a magically cold planet like ours, it takes a miracle to break the silence, to bow our heads and pay respect to a higher order. We are too unyielding, too self-centred.

Playfully lurking and viciously barking.

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, December 22, 2004 | Permalink

Yes, I've been working.

There are some people in the world who lack compassion. Or courtesy. Was doing crowd control, stopping cars from nearing the set and blocking off traffic. I don't think it's the greatest favour in the world to ask of, just to stop for no more than a minute or two before we allow you through. But nasty friends of this friendly world think they own the world. Some proclaim with panache how they know the law better than "we" combined, that we can't stop traffic as and when we want. Some just drive past us up the driveway although we had stopped them, more happy with being an ugly Singaporean than a civilian of the world. Working gives you the best idea of the different sides of human nature. Can't deny, there were some understanding drivers. But said to say, the losers came in posh cars, appeared rich and tried being powerful.

Celebrity nannies are actually martial arts masters in disguise. Their job includes keeping an eye for any behind-the-bush cameras which might snap at their employers, any star-struck fan from getting within ten metres of their idols, testing food to ensure quality taste, scolding crew for asking for autographs or snaps with the stars. Not an easy job.

The hours are hell. So I'm hell tired now.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, December 21, 2004 | Permalink

The guest list for gala night is growing. Mrs Low is adding more people to it. More ex-TSDians onto the list. As I ran down the list, I saw names like Brendan Fernandez, Michelle Chong, Clarissa Oon. I had this sudden dubious urge to do something. Play a game, or read a book, write a card. It's inspiring, the list filled with so many prominent people in the industry. And Theatre Studies, a subject in a college with only a history of 2 decades. It's very amazing, how the lives of people have changed by a subject often silently scorned by some cynics. It isn't a subject to TSDians anymore, I believe, it's a wonderful way of expression, it's a place for dreams to take root, it's a family with a formidable sense of camaraderie. I am part of it, and that makes me want to be a somebody in the future.

Yet, it's sad how the people mentioned above don't usually pride themselves to be a TSDian. Brendan Fernandez is a Fly Entertainment Artiste and a theatre actor. But he's never called an ex-TSD student. Michelle Chong is a bubbly Mediacorp host and actress, I doubt she will say thanks to TSD if she won herself something at the Star Awards. I think TSD made me someone new, be it good or bad. So new you don't see a cell left from the past.

I remember Lofty and Poonie tell me something like, "Brandon, now that you have done something pro-theatre, don't forget us. We've had many students who left college and are into professional theatre work, and we've never heard from them anymore or received a call from them." The moment I heard that, I was actually quite stunned they would say something like that. I believe they deserve all the credit in the world. Speaking to Lofty was like reminiscing the past with an old grandpa who understands you inside out, who knows your visions and your aspirations, who wants to help you all the way to achieve your goals.

My answer was of course, "NO I WOULDN'T do that." Lofty gave a laugh. It was like he had never expected to be repaid for his relentless efforts to teach. It was like he knew things which everyone didn't. It was like he had taught for so bloody long and wouldn't stop in a long time.

For me, although there's still a bumpy year ahead of me, I wouldn't stop in a long time.

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, December 18, 2004 | Permalink

Went for prata with saimu, wei miang, alaric. How weird! I'm still feeling full from it, can't bring myself to lie down. Met with some bizarre incident involving two schizo aunties. Really creepy.

Bridget Jones The Edge of Reason was hilarious. Although I agree the humour in Bridget Jones' Diary was smarter, I preferred this second instalment. I find physical humour and dumb, farcical jokes funnier. If jokes are packaged in wise words, I find myself too lazy to unwrap them. Renee Zellweger (spell for me someone) was good, really.

Esmonde came over to Bishan for a duologue read. We are positively excited to start slots. With juniors. With lights, sound and action. This one will be a blast, compared to my absurdly boring monologue. It's hard to imagine how we will all be seniors in a matter of weeks. Seniors. The senior citizens of Victoria Junior College. Exciting shit (Pun intended). I think I had been a bad junior. When I was at slots, I wanted to leave. When I wasn't performing, I was always slacking. I will get my retribution.

The Osbournes . I heard their show is a hit in US. But I watched one episode and wondered what they were talking about with all the censoring going on. It was quite boring, witnessing the life of these stars, who most of the time look sleepy, yet quarrel with such gusto and will.

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, December 18, 2004 | Permalink

TSD GALA NIGHT has been planned in such a way that the first night is for the invited guests (with industry people, parents, teachers, and ministers) and the second night is for a paying audience (10 bucks a ticket). It sounds very promising and ambitious for the opening of our new studio (looks good!). I really like what has been scheduled. Not cynical, but not exactly 100 confident on a personal level. And it's first week of school. But then again, we always pull it off. (not scrappily of course) :P

Watched First Daughter on VCD. I've got to admit, it's a cliched storyline. Girl is president's daughter, can't lead normal college life, falls in love with a Secret Service Agent disguised as a student, love doesn't work out coz father objects. For me, it took too long to set the scene, leaving little to explore and fill in at the back, leading to a rushed, gaw-dropping, confusing ending. But the actors are charming in their own right. Katie Holmes can be quite deadpan sometimes, but she still passes off as the first daughter who can't have it all. I think it's she who redeemed the film as one that increasingly lured the audience into the plot. The ending although ambiguous, was neat and realistic.

80 percent sure I nailed a crew position in a Hong Kong movie. Production Assistant, whom Chinese call as someone who DA3 ZA2. Basically, Production Assistants clean the set, buy food, pack up, set up... Since it's only a one-week shoot in Singapore, I can take this opportunity to kill time and gain experience. It's quite exciting really.

I gave my monologue a read. It's in shambles now. I'm in deep shit.

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, December 16, 2004 | Permalink

Spiderman posters! Framed and coated. Now the new attention grabber in my room. I am very happy.

De-Lovely was great fun. The musical numbers were used to great effect, although there was bound to be the word" love" in every song. In fact the songs were what made the movie so lively and filled with meaning. Kevin Kline and Ashley Judd are two stunning actors, remarkably apt in portraying conflicts of emotion. Particularly for Kline, the transformation from a nonchalant nomad in love (with alternative sexualities) to a firm believer in true love is executed with panache and style. Subtle symbols and appropriate juxtaposition used in the film made it a deep one to explore.

On the flip side, De-Lovely seemed too magical a film, although the circumstances were real - love, homosexuality, missed opportunities, lies, regret. A story that proved so real, it didn't leave me asking for more. The choppy delivery of plot and too many a song blemished a good script and a fine cast, which was all-rounded in singing, dancing and acting. Although competent in their own ways, the two leads shared little emotional connection and left me feeling neither here nor there.

BUT, De-Lovely made my morning and left me wondering whether Singapore would ever throw in so much cash to film a movie musical, and impress the world.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, December 14, 2004 | Permalink

The Star Awards was quite a blast tonight.

• It seemed like the show belonged to Christopher Lee and Fann Wong. For me, it was irritating and unprofessional, but I think such things make people continue and want to watch the show.
• Jacelyn Tay's fall was pretty unsightly, but fortunately, the cameras weren't on her front when it happened. Nice cover-up when she said, "When you fall, you'd have to stand up yourself".
• Where was Vincent Ng?
• I think Xie Shao Guang is arguably the deserving best actor, but was his speech a little too cocky? He said his character didn't need a lot of "technique".
• The thing about overrun is really overdone.
• Most deserving win - Li Ying-Zhu. I think she's great. I suppose I like to see old people win. Because the media focuses on youngsters who keep proclaiming their dreams and expectations, but we shouldn't ignore the older generation. For all we know, they have greater aspirations and goals. Really.
• Never-won-but-should-have - I think Fiona Xie? Jeff Wang?
• Least deserving win - Phyllis Quek. What has she done exactly? Win after win every year is dubious.
• Mr Ernest Wong and Mr Chang seem to be on every template of a thank-you speech.
• Vivian Hsu strikes me surprisingly as a bubbly celebrity with a bubbly personality.
• It was very funny when Zhao Wei and Florence were presenting awards. They seemed like two identical aliens speaking a commonly bizarre, unrecognisable version of what we call Mandarin. Florence's heavily accented Mandarin and Wei's distorted Beijing slang were rather hard on the ears, and VERY amusing.

I couldn't help but ask if the annual awards show has lost its meaning. How much do the stars mean what they say? Sometimes, you can see it in their eyes, in their gestures. Some have won so many times that their words of gratitude turn so mechanical and trite. Such people don't NEED the award. Some others NEED it so badly for a big break, but fight so hard to abortive attempts.

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Wei Ming house. Good turnout. Spent the night discussing and witnessing Melvin's carnal inclination towards Wei Xuan, Crispy Bananas, "Peel Banana" concerts, Soggy-na, Goi, Kiat Chay's infamous snores, Daniel's Mercedes stomach tuck-in and loads to crap. Very enjoyable. :p

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, December 12, 2004 | Permalink

"What has been thought can never be unthought." Friedrich Durrenmatt

Just announcements to pass around to whoever sees this:
4-4 people: Saturday 11 Dec, Wei Ming house. Mrs Neo will be around.
TSDians: Gala Night meeting, 15 Dec, 10am.
Sec 4s Council Exco: 19 Dec, East Coast BBQ, reply Melvin.

Posted by Brandon at Friday, December 10, 2004 | Permalink

Somehow, I feel I'm living in this world of my own. Doing things my own way, sometimes things I desire to do, sometimes things forced down my throat. Not caring about the consequences, not giving a shit about what others think, staying in the dark when people are basking in the sun. I don't want to be different really, I just want to be the person I'd sincerely want to be, and I just drift further and further away from civilisation. Yet, I am so self-conscious because I know every minute, should I slip and fall or cramp and die, I'd be judged. Ironic.

I realise that I have achieved some things that I'd never thought possible, and there are things which will never be within my reach. It's all bullshit to think that nothing is impossible and impossible is nothing. I don't think I'm in denial but you reach this point in life when you feel that NO ONE, absolutely NO ONE understands how you feel. It's a feeling that locks out all emotions because the door can only hold so much.

Sometimes, I tell friends to stay positive. But I know everytime I say that, it's a lie. Because somehow, I just can't seem to do what I preach. And this feeling is weird because you try to console, knowing exactly that person's anguish and pain, yet you know he/she will have a hard time overcoming it and you have no control of the situation, yet you tell him/her to stay calm and collected.

It feels so much better trashing it out in words, although not the most appropriate and most accurate way of expression.

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, December 08, 2004 | Permalink

Yes, I caught America's Next Top Model finale today. I've got to admit Yoanna is a gorgeous babe. She's so classic, so contemporary and what a very very beautiful face. If you'd allow me to be pure superficial for a minute, I'd fall in love with her straight away for one minute. But no, I am better than that. Muahaha.

It seems like I can't get away from the addiction to Crazy Taxi. I know it's quite an old game but I prefer not to expand my list of favourites because it'd just turn into fatal indulgence. Something I can't get out of. Just how I fell into the trap theatre scoured. But alas, it's very easy to please me sometimes. Give me some adrenaline and I'd be hooked.

4-4 friends out there!
11 DECEMBER 2004, 3 or 4 pm come, wei ming house, bring 10 bucks for us to cater food (but wont be that ex), soccer at 2 if you want. I am looking forward to this.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, December 07, 2004 | Permalink

I am extremely excited today because I found a good monologue. A monologue of suitable length is hard enough to come by in most plays, finding something solid to do is even harder. I can envision myself doing this one and it connects quite well. Pinter!

Yea, that's all for today. I needed to get the above down.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, December 05, 2004 | Permalink

The Incredibles is shit funny. It's very supernatural. The powers each character possesses are things that pop up in our minds but we dismiss them so hastily because they are simply not humanely possible to achieve. But this film gives you a sense of fulfillment because your childish imagination comes true, in a realistic, narrative frame. Although a conventional storyline where good triumphs over evil, it is a movie that brings you into the action, the speed of Dash, so as to speak. The first half was a little long drawn, but wow, goodness "cinemafied".

Went to school for a photo shoot with Rau, Cho, Roof. For one of those billboards for the studio. It was weird. Cho was this Mr Incredible ready to run a bunny race. Rau was the martial arts master. Roof was the stoning, sleepy shi fu. I was the fierce pole master. Apparently, Raudah says that I am very mild-mannered from the outside, but I look like I can kill when I look fierce. I was actually very amused and intrigued by that. And they had wushu members from the National Team to show us some moves for us to emulate. It was a bizarre morning out, almost like a nightmare. I mean a dream.

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, December 04, 2004 | Permalink

If there's one paragraph you want to read in this entire blog, it's the following one. I can't sleep now although I'm very tired, because I know I need to write this down.

I feel that everyone in the world should and must watch THE AMAZING RACE. I shouldn't resort to expletives, but it is a show NOT, NEVER should be missed. Today there was S Idol, so the telecast was postponed to tomorrow 10pm. But I couldn't wait, so I stayed up to watch the AXN midnight repeat. It is the BEST reality TV show I've ever in my entire life seen. The adrenaline is just amazing. The rankings just change so fast, you just get so hooked. And it's a fantastic chance to feast upon shots of picturesque corners of the world and just forget the small diamond-shaped dot you live in. And not to be overly analytical, but THE AMAZING RACE (it's awfully amazing) reveals the bare skin of reality, how humans react in face of adversity. Some bicker to get out of it (Jon and Victoria), some stay cool yet triumph (Gus and Hera) and some know that their partners are their greatest sources of inspiration (This is the most amazing thing about the show!) It is no doubt my life's own inspiration, fun and excitement. I salute the producers. The concept is so simple, but it brings out more than it was set out to achieve. Absolutely brilliant.

I remember I gave a 5-minute Mandarin speech in Sec 4 on the topic of the Amazing Race. Everything I've said then still applies. It is something I look forward to, actively and spontaneously.

I'm gonna say this but I know thousands of other bloggers would say this too. TAUFIK won!!! A deserving win really. I seriously thought the judges were utterly dishonest with their comments. I thought the Sly's "It's my Life" was mistreated and the higher notes were poorly delivered (so Sly resorted to the trick of holding the mike towards the audience so that he wouldn't have to sing the powerful line "IT'S MY LIFE!!!!"). Really sly there. Yet the judges praised him so much. And yes, well done VJC CHOIR! "I Dream" sounded much better with your backup. Seriously.

I've got this vision of Jessea winning the competition if she wasn't booted out in Spectaculars. Sad. Sometimes, it takes more than talent to win I guess.

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, December 02, 2004 | Permalink