Jolly Folly, Mighty Morphin'

The Physicists is over, finally. Throughout the run, I was longing for it to end. I was physically very tired of twitching my face for about 40 minutes a day (sometimes even twice a day). I was quite sick of Scratcher.

But now it's over. Funny feeling should I say. After the brief bash after this afternoon's matinee, I needed to leave. I said my goodbyes to each and every one. Although there are people in the cast and crew whom I like more than others and some less than others, I felt I would miss the show the minute I stepped out of the building. I did.

As I walked, I talked to myself. The muttering I did was like the initial narration of a movie. I really didn't want to leave. Sometimes, you do grow attached to things? I had spent my last week in that place, with that team, in that atmosphere everyday, every night. That stage, that wall which I had to push down every night, that last curtain call all made such lasting impressions on me. I felt an urge to run back and do the show once again. It was over. A mad run of the mad Physicists is madly over.

Should I say I'm very confused now? Tired I said, but bursting with energy? This is the maddest thing I've ever done and before I knew it, it's over. I look forward to a wonderful tour next May to KL. I want to bless every member of the team now. It's great.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, October 31, 2004 | Permalink

Today has been a rough day for me. Tired cleaning the workshop, despite having immense fun playing with props with Xi Jie, Shaun and Cho.

Tonight's performance is one I'd never forget. Something quite terrible happened behind-the-scenes. Affected me very much. But it made me feel more attached to Samantha and made me trust her even more. My respect for her simply doesn't stop growing. What happened made me stronger (It really did) and the experience she shared with me only made me want to do theatre more, despite having dropped the idea time and again. If there was one person whom I want to work with more in the future, it is NO DOUBT Samantha. Absolutely no doubt.

I feel like I've shed my old filthy skin and regenerated a brand new layer of cells. Cells that are brimming with life. Cells that can't wait to undertake their next task. Tomorrow is a new day yet again.

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, October 27, 2004 | Permalink

Today has been a rough day for me. Tired cleaning the workshop, despite having immense fun playing with props with Xi Jie, Shaun and Cho.

Tonight's performance is one I'd never forget. Something quite terrible happened behind-the-scenes. Affected me very much. But it made me feel more attached to Samantha and made me trust her even more. My respect for her simply doesn't stop growing. What happened made me stronger (It really did) and the experience she shared with me only made me want to do theatre more, despite having dropped the idea time and again. If there was one person whom I want to work with more in the future, it is NO DOUBT Samantha. Absolutely no doubt.

I feel like I've shed my old filthy skin and regenerated a brand new layer of cells. Cells that are brimming with life. Cells that can't wait to undertake their next task. Tomorrow is a new day yet again.

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, October 27, 2004 | Permalink

I changing from DS to Acting. All the hype about a dramatic sequence all has all vanished. No looking back. It was quite a painful decision because I absolutely wanted to direct a piece of theatre but I guess it's a more practical choice for me. A more down-to-earth mentality. And yes, Esmonde is my DUO partner!!!

I watched 2046 today. 2046 is a victim. A victim of perhaps too much public expectations on the film. The setting is splendid and slick. The characters are multi-faceted and donned in nice costumes. Direction is fabulous. But it's just spoilt by the attempt to do too much in one film.(I think) So much so that I as a member of the audience questioned whether the film was made deliberately to look deep and profound. In dealing with dense issues like love and missed opportunities, wouldn't simplicity bring out more? Personal preference arh. But still an ejoyable one. Maybe should have watched it only when I was well-rested. Too complex a film for a sleepy soul on such comfortable, wide seats.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, October 25, 2004 | Permalink

Today was a day of mixed feelings. First of all,

THANK YOU all TSD peeps who came down to watch the Physicists. I don't think I know how to express my heartfelt gratitude (I guess I can't express it???) but I really did appreciate the support everyone gave the show. Outside the theatre, everyone was crowding and chatting and I just stood there. I wanted to go up to everyone to say a big thank you, because I knew that the group of people who had given me most support would have to be the TSD peeps. I was quite overwhelmed and impressed at the turnout. Samantha, whom I've grown to respect more and more, said this,

"You have a great class! You have very intelligent classmates. They know their stuff."

At that point, I felt even more proud to be a tsdian once again. It's an amazing feeling, ain't it? To know that you are studying the best course in the world.

Gala Night was a FANTASTIC run. Astonishing. I guess it's because the big shots were watching this time round. Clarissa Oon, the Straits Times reviewer, landfilled much pressure on everyone. Someone from Business Times was here too. Beatrice Chia, Mark Waite, Mark Richmond, the Swiss Ambassador, the American Ambassador, and whatever Ambassador were all motivations to put on a good show. And whether we make it to Kuala Lumpur, Beijing and Switzerland depended the Swiss Ambassador's opinion on tonight's performance.

I think we did well. Of course we were compared to The Visit of the Tai Tai by everyone. Clarissa Oon said we were better, some others didn't agree but I'm excited about the review. Hopefully it comes out soon - and well.

Cast Party I guess the dark side of theatre came out here. A lot of bitching around, social mingling and superficial act-smart came out. I have to admit some of the cast members were very demanding because they were the celebs. More like tyrants. We had a few gays turn up (had no idea who they were) and they filled the bar with much needed (but then again no) high-pitched laughs and intense conversations.

I am quite happy though, that we've been receiving good notes about the show. I realised that:

• I have skin that is very sensitive to make-up. Pimple outbreak after outbreak. Getting worse by the day.
• It is very tiring twitching my face the whole time. I've grown solid muscles on my right side of the neck.
• Theatre needs no flamboyance. Samantha is so down-to-earth, kind and intelligent, almost geek-like, but she brings her intentions across so successfully. She doesn't bitch and she's someone who is hard to come by. Especially when she's a Caucasian. All due respect.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, October 24, 2004 | Permalink

Wednesday was spent in the theatre. The entire Wednesday. Cooped up in darkness, plotting lights. The cast talked alot, chatted gibberish and basically slacked. At some point in time, I felt kind of out. The British actors have this weird sense of humour, which sometimes you really don't understand it. I just smile when I don't understand and laugh when I do. And when I do, I realise it's really very funny. Out-of-the-world almost. And they are really witty and react very swiftly to circumstances, to discourses, to the stage too.

On the other hand, the poor Asian Singaporean actors are the quiet people. There is a weird segregation. There was a scene which had the whole cast on stage except me and Christian Huber and the Asians were talking in one small circle and the rest of the cast - British - were scattered on stage, humouring themselves with loud jokes. I couldn't help but think of big-thighed Renees and silently suffering Songs.

Leigh McDonald totally shattered my idolisation of her. She flashed her tits to us and even proposed to flash en masse. And she has this fetish for life-size dolls. WEIRDoooOOOoooo.

Preview is TOMORROW! Article today on Life said the play will come with a bang, "quite literally". That set my juices flowing. Couldn't help but feel very excited. VERY excited.

APPEAL!!! APPEAL!!! APPEAL!!! Can those who went to the Italian thing tag? Can tell me what you all did? (I stabbed myself for missing it)

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, October 21, 2004 | Permalink

I went to the library! And got myself some books. It's quite satisfying. Haha. And the library was quite quiet. Had this special column on Friedrich Durrenmatt, but too bad I couldn't find any of his plays, only saw novels.

I think everyone is thinking about their ISes. It's quite mad. The frenzy. The dilemma.

Came out of studio to see Yin Ren and Zhan Hui, just panting with their mouths agape. Quite evidently, something bad must have happened. But these two secretive shits just didn't want to talk about it. Their keeping mum didn't help because you know curiosity killed the cat. I kept asking but still they just said it was a matter of the life and death. A well, I have nothing to say.

I'm gonna miss the Italian workshop tomorrow at night. I will live to regret it.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, October 19, 2004 | Permalink

For once I think PW doesn't suck that much. As others transit from niceness and cohesion to nastiness and havoc, we're actually moving from bursting tension to amiable energy. Good ah, but it's only written report. And I heard from someone in class that it's only 15% or something, is that true? And Oral Presentation! We could be the "lucky" one selected to present to Minister of Education. We're quite screwed for OP but heck.

There is absolutely no way I'm gonna push that wall down at SRT. I'm DDDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN scrawny and that wall is DDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN heavy. Ok in three days, I have to train very hard to push it down. Did I just say 3 days?

Tomorrow's call time is 9 am to 11 pm. I officially call this show MAD. I can just go MAD. That means missing school!

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, October 19, 2004 | Permalink

Gathering at Mr Tan's house. What can I say? Enjoyed it. It's nice to see that everyone has moved on with their lives and progressed so much since the time we last saw each other TOGETHER in a group. Highlight of the night was just looking at photos and laughing our heads off. Especially Melvin, couldn't believe he was that fat last time.

Yea, and I spent my afternoon at the Orchard library. How boring, but I was thinking about my Individual Skill. I had so many ideas running, but just couldn't pick any one despite having stoned the whole time.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, October 17, 2004 | Permalink

Open House is like over. We did so much yet it seemed like it just fleeted by at a snap of the finger. I enjoyed my monologue today tremendously. I guess the crowd was responsive and I was at ease/relaxed/unperplexed.

Open House is such a bluff tool. Who is to judge which college is the best? Better Open House means better college? Impressive facilities mean better results? I don't see no link. VJC seems like a dream school, but how far can you stretch a dream? Do you discard it just because you see a flaw? Or do you keep it, hang on to it for dear life, imagining flawlessness when it doesn't even exist? I think these O levels kids are hopelessly misguided, herded here and there in their quest to make it to a TOP JC. I almost find it dumb.

But Open House rox? I contradict myself only because I am but one of the numberless "misguided" youths of the world. Brought my relationship with TSD to a whole new level. As I spoke about it to the Secondary kids, I actually felt dignified and proud despite having some killer thoughts about quitting it a few months ago. Theatre kills a confused mind, but it revives a passionate life.

I do not deny I was a victim of the O level scam. I was a slave to the system.

To think some PRIMARY 6 KIDS are actually crying over a slightly tougher Science PSLE paper.

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, October 16, 2004 | Permalink

I'm tired. Seriously tired. I stretched myself to the limit today. Had to do the big clock, tidy up, do monologue (which is the most tedious of all)... TSD Open House stuff killed all my energy so much so that...

I FELL ASLEEP during Physicists rehearsal. On stage! Samantha had to wake me up. I felt damn ashamed. Everyone was quite concerned, but they must be thinking, "This dumbass, wasting my time!" I was quite malu la, and only because I was so drained. And scratching that wall for 40 minutes isn't the most exciting thing to keep oneself awake.

Today's rehearsal was quite screwed. I think I screwed it all up la. Samantha said it was one of the worst runs. Guilty. Had to blog because I wasn't at all happy with my performance. It's small enough a role and I don't want Samantha to have to worry about me. Arh, screw it. I have no idea what I was doing basically.

I shaved my belly hair.... MUAHAHAHA. I actually look so much cleaner and less foresty at the belly. Had this craving, so did it. Turned out the area became very stubby and rough. Heck la.

Saw this article about British invasion of Singapore theatre. Absolutely agree. Besides Selena Tan (and gang), Adrian Pang and Hossan Leong, I don't actually see many popular local actors. Ang Mohs are taking over. Must you be an Ang Moh to rule the theatre world, I was set thinking. No, definitely not.

Posted by Brandon at Friday, October 15, 2004 | Permalink

Rehearsal schedule out. MAMMAMAMAMA. Can die. Still must re-memorise script for Open House performance within ermm 2 days and re-do blocking and stuff? I can go mad. And PW??? And meals???

Brandon will be responsible and will do everything. He will do it! Starting tomorrow that is. (does a mock cry)

Speech Day was sucky yet nostalgic?? The event itself was horribly disorganised and last-minute. Ugly certs and crappy speeches, haha. But Ghost Mel was good la. And Mr Suah gave a speech in English, executed sleekly to our astonishment. Not as slick as Robin or Mark Tan, but still, gotta give him props. And Mel's script was formulate YET very nostalgic. (can't find another suitable word). Never knew it could make all of us feel thsi way?

-NTUC INCOME CEO was the Guest-of-Honour, must be because we can milk his money for future use. He's not even an old boi.
-There's this banner called "DISTINCTION QUEST" hung outside the Hall. Basically, it translates into "Hall of Shame", which lists in big print, those who didn't get distinctions for their (I THINK) O level Chinese exams. The school IS mad. It's freaking mad to do that!
-Mrs Neo is still her old self, always "busy".
-Peng Fei fell as he walked on stage to receive his award. Apparently a bet with Robin for McFlurry. Lammmmmmme. But it was funny!
-Grad Dinner with St. Nicks postponed to next year. Never even should have that idea in the first place.
-Someone asked Ms Thian if she used Slim Ten.
-Who would have thought Mr Lee now wants something new this time round - A sports school within Cat High? And PC Tablets for the Sec 2 small bois?

I found myself thinking about the people at Sentosa during the ceremony. Splashing water.

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, October 13, 2004 | Permalink

Wah, it's over. Didn't feel the amount of relief I thought I'd feel. I guess when you expect something, there is no point in it anymore, because your grievances would have leaked out in the process of anticipation? It just makes your expectations dumb.

White Chicks rocked my world la. I found myself laughing every second. Nothing much to learn (except perhaps "treasure your loved one"? movie quite enticing in this way too.) but felt quite hysterical after the movie. Quite high.

Tomorrow afternoon is Cat High Speech Day and TSD Sentosa Beach outing has to be tomorrow. I feel quite bad not going to Sentosa although I really want to go... I REALLY want to go. It's the fun la.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, October 12, 2004 | Permalink

I want to:

-Read at least 5 more plays. Neil Simon, Kuo Pao Kun and Harold Pinter are must-reads.
-Read about Sylvia Plath and learn about her sad, so sad life.
-Pack my room. (and throw away some Primary School books hidden underneath my cupboard for you know how many years.)
-Make notes for Geography (regret not doing it. my 'A' levels will suffer without notes.)
-Think about how I'm going to handle DRAMA and TSD together. (For example, Open House. How are these two groups going to co-exist under the same roof in the same event?)
-Write a play.
-Make a movie, if I get hold of a video camera.
-Take photos of everything and anything in the world.
-Think about DS, which I'm madly excited about. (I suddenly have this idea about umbrellas and torchlights.)
-Dream of appearing in new plays.
-Research on UK/US education.
-Catch up on ALL the play time I've missed as a Promos mugger.
-Definitely more.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, October 11, 2004 | Permalink

A voice resonating at the FAR end of the Hall. Must be an F Math student growling his way to the end. My ears appreciated what they heard as the clock ticked the loudest ticks I've heard in my life. I was at peace with myself. My pen was out of ink. My brain was out of juice. I walked home, an unseen force pounding at the doorstep of my heart. It fell and hit the appendix and later rolled down into _____________.

Can someone tell me what will happen if the heart falls? Where is the floor of the body? Will it fall to the feet or the bum region? Or what?

One more down, one more to go. TSD was pure shit. WHAT WAS THERE TO WRITE??? And 2.5 hours for 50 marks worth of answers. Which means you have 3 minutes to write each mark. I took 1 minute for each mark you can say, was kind of done in less than 2 hours.

I'm bored. Out of the world bored.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, October 11, 2004 | Permalink

Papa and Mama are back from Hong Kong. And you can't believe the amount of sausages they've bought. There are at least 10 bundles. There are CHEESE sausages, TURKEY sausages, VEGETABLE sausages... It's quite an eccentric mix, but I have to admit they taste marvellous.

Today I had 3 afternoon naps. Decline and Fall making my head spin. Then I couldn't sleep because (as I was saying yesterday) I kept thinking about the movies I wanna produce. I can almost imagine the lines running in my head.

If you watch AXN's reality show NEXT ACTION STAR, I need to tell everyone that my maid looks like Corrine! They look the same. Just the same hair colour.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, October 10, 2004 | Permalink

Watching Wimbledon today inspired me so much. I felt like being a movie actor as I walked out of the theatre. I think it's the coolest thing - ever. Wayyyyyy too cool. I want to be an action star. I feel like doing everything that anyone humane would wanna do.

Being young makes you think there is nothing you can't do in this world. There are endless possibilities. You aspire to be a policeman at 5, a Power Ranger at 8, a singer at 12, an actor at 17, a doctor or lawyer at 25, a restaurant owner at 32. I think of anything and absolutely anything that can happen to my life.

Alternatively, a director. My first movie would combine elements of hatred, love, the future, the outrageous, water and ash. I would definitely cast Kirsten Dunst, probably with Ewan McGregor or Matt Damon. I dream, but don't fault me for doing it. We all (humans) dream of stuff that never come true. Same here. Yea. Ha.

It's amazing how you still believe you can conquer the world at this not-very-young age of 17. I just don't believe it. When I saw the huge Spiderman stuck on the wall at Cineleisure, I looked at it so intently. I looked at its eyes. Its webs. Its position. It looked damn real la. Brought back tons of memories for me. Fond and unforgettable. Spiderman rox my life la!

Was walking out of Cineleisure main door when I realised I was standing right in the way of Sylvester. WAH!!!! Sylvester from SI! Then after him came Olinda, Leandra, Christopher all in one line...... The security sort of circled the place tightly for them to walk right after I stepped in so I didn't know how to react. Just walk lor. Looked a bit embarrassed coz the screaming fans were taking photos all over and I was screwing their pictures, either by blocking them or appearing in them. :p

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, October 09, 2004 | Permalink

Another day has passed. I finally bought the visor I'd been looking for. Other that that, today proved no more exciting.

Today, life just sucked. Felt so lousy I could just throw myself into a dump. It sucks to be feeling lonely, poor, deprived again. Esmonde and I agree we both hate loneliness.

I'm beginning to feel that Jerry Ong's entire church is voting for him. That's why he's still in this thing.

17 years old is a wonderful age to be in. I think I want to live in this moment forever, if you don't count adolescence. It's an age of nothing.

I can come up with no more crap for this blog entry which deserves more than its owner is subjecting it to. Sorry, blog.

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, October 09, 2004 | Permalink

I will be a bad politician/historian if I were either. I have absolutely no idea what The Cold War, American War ermmm Vietnam War, whatever war is about in M Butt. I gave up trying to read into the lines. And research only yielded pages after pages of shit. To think I was once thought by others to be a potential PAP member or a leader in a new opposition group.

What is a pipe dream? Why is it called a pipe dream? Pipes are hollow. Dreams are fantastical. Pipes can be stuffed with sewerage, smelly and filthy. Dreams can be bullshit, empty and crazy.

Sudden thoughts about:

- Singapore Idol : It's a competition where the countless layers of selection and elimination are causing real talents (the gems) to be filtered off. Whoever's left is not really not that good. Only a few are quite commendable. But I guess SI is quite commercialised. It's so much beyond and glitz.

- Hong Kong Drama Serials : They are quite addictive. Not like Singapore Serials which hinge on the same few concepts or plots.

- Myself : I feel so choked up with such sedated living. Exams work the mind and kill the body. I currently have this image of a doctor squeezing fats out of a blood vessel in that anti-smoking campaign. I feel I'm a victim, just that I don't smoke.

- JOKE hotline : Mad. People actually pay to receive joke SMSes. 2 dollars a message. This is the real joke.

- Rockstars : They are so scrawny yet they like to sing bare bodied, jerking violently with mikestands. Two bamboos.

- TSD : I have done the subject injustice. I never really studied it.

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, October 07, 2004 | Permalink

Geog is over. I don't know how to proclaim the joy in me at the Geoger's release party. I am indeed happy. (Did I sound a tit too robotic. I felt so. Nvm.)

The beach madness was fun, sunny and salty. I am literally toasted, and red all over. The beach just rocks la. Although all we did was just bob up and down amid the waves, think we have Jack and Rose along Singapore's longest shores, bury a victim beneath layers of hot sand and accentuating his body parts and sing cross-ethnic songs, WE DID ENJOY IT. I'm speaking for the hearty, well-fed/nourished, playful, flamboyant bunch of Geogers.

I realise that if we celebrate so madly and lock in our minds a perception that being let go of studies is such a liberating sensation, we would have this very same mentality at the next exam boulder next June or whenever. Ok, think of TSD and Lit first. They are just a day away.

I like this phrase I found when studying for Measure for Measure:
"With love comes life. With life comes death"

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, October 06, 2004 | Permalink

I conclude almost certainly that things that come out of my mouth has problems. At least to Shariza. Who is half deaf, literally.

Weeds! Weeds!

It's natural for me to react this way. Sorry arh. A little too aggressive, but couldn't help it. Frustration you can call it.

ECONS IS OVER. O MAN, I can kill a pig and eat it now. Our invigilator today kind of sucked. She did not allow me to go to the toilet 30 minutes into the exam (my bladder wasn't functioning quite well, I visited the loo one minute before the exam and more came). I could not think at all, with the bursting sensation in my below-middle region. I had to tell her in the face, "Sorry Mam, I really cannot take it. Sorry, can I go?" She gave that face, and I just ran off.

I think you can sense my relief (both at her softening up to my urgency and at the release of my urgency).

Then, she had to make so much noise in the middle of the exam. Wah, never mind, at least she let me go to the toilet, if not I'd be walking out of the classroom with wet pants.

I hate the nj triple science freaks out there (dom, samuelboi, melvin, joel, weiming, andy?...) who are off this Wednesday and all the science fac. boozos (is that a vulgar word?) who will be released into the world of liberty and gaeity after this week? Wah LIU...

Geog beckons. Geog beckons. Geog beckons. Why do I have to wait until NEXT tuesday???

Posted by Brandon at Monday, October 04, 2004 | Permalink

ARH!!! This has to come. One day before Econs, I have to have quite a mess of fever and headache. Wah, my head really spinning. Started at noon. Sleep so long also no use. MADNESS. Hopefully can chiong tomorrow morning.

I think I must be spending too much time in school or something. Just on Friday night, (not kidding) Helen asked me in my dream. In that falsetto voice, like just after she burst out in laughter while talking to some of the Geogers, she asked, "Eh? You have a thick chest or not?", while illustrating her "thickness" with her thumb and forefinger. As she said it, she was laughing like mad. So unlikely of Helen. And she talked like she was drunk. I was like duh... What chest!?(Anw, you never see yourself in dreams? Because you are the first person? I think so.) That was all I remembered. Please stop all these nightmares of weird people in unlikely situations. Next time, I'd be dreaming about Shariza locked in her elope-must-have ESPRIT luggage or Yin Ren more than half naked on one of the garden tables.

Econs is mad. Can never study finish one.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, October 03, 2004 | Permalink

Beverly out ok. JESSEA OUT?!?! Wah, cannot believe it. I thought she could win the competition somemore.

My head is spinning with wobbly Geog facts now. Duplications of the words "CBD", "Financial", "Industry", "ELDC, EMDC" choking my brain up. And now I officially have Saturday and Sunday to study for Econs. Every second online seems so precious now.

Few people blog now. Quite disappointed. I blog-surf everyday only to find out people haven't blogged for days. Call me a k-po but it's nice to hear about other people's life anecdotes, no?

Rehearsals suck, especially at this promos period. Met the cast. So many so old. And I have no idea what the script is about. But I feel quite privileged. I'm like a kindergarten kid working among TSD students. The director rox!

I had a weird dream some nights ago. I dreamt that Arika was a Devil and Farah was a little girl. Arika was clawing for Farah because she screwed up something. Then got some blood, some sniggers and some screams. Very weird dream. And O yes, they were scuttling round and round in the studio.

Mad.

Posted by Brandon at Friday, October 01, 2004 | Permalink