Jolly Folly, Mighty Morphin'

"Say I am beside you". That's what an idiot beside me asked me to say. She looks like Daphne Khoo who will be on next week's SI show. Incidentally, they have the same name.

Struggling these days with sleep time. Quite very tired too.

The adrenaline of table tennis is back. It has become my favourite sport I guess. Played with Jianhao a few times at the void deck in the depths of double digit p.m s. It's one exciting shit of a game. Playing and watching, both.

A sense of loss these days. I've been asked by people to move and do things more than I want to. It's really not their fault. I guess I choose to drift nowadays than to grab an oar to row on. Why?

I like singing. More these days. In the lift, beside the piano, in the bathroom, in the library. One amazing thing about one's voice is it needs nothing. But it gives a lot of things.

Crap.

Posted by Brandon at Friday, August 27, 2004 | Permalink

Rehearsals are killing me. They go so late at night I can't satisfy my 8-hour sleep regime anymore. Have to sleep on the long and bumpy journey on the dreaded 55 bus.

Confession 1: I salivate sometimes on the bus when I sleep, so I find sometimes some parts of my bag are wet. When I wake up, I look around to see if anyone notices. I bet people find it all very amusing but they pretend not to see it.

Confession 2: Blood, the colour of diluted watermelon juice, oozed out of yet another wound/blister/pusbag (I have no idea what it is) on my butt yesterday night. Stained my sheets. It's really like watermelon juice. Now it's plastered and the flow very much ermmm controlled.

Have to go Geog lecture liao. Huuuuu.... VERY VERY sian.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, August 23, 2004 | Permalink

I spent my time today VERY unwisely.
I gorged myself with so much fast food it sucked.
I finally played a game of table tennis after an 8-month hiatus at the table.
I watched Li Jiawei fall from grace, but rise from within.
I ate some tough, juicy lamb chops which had some transparent green paste on it.
I realised perhaps it's time to start studying for Promos.
I saw a (female) maid walk into the male toilet I was in where I was pressed against a urinal. (she walked indifferently into a cubicle. the men around just stared at her, pretending not to laugh.)
I have to save up to buy something very soon.
I think we have no more time for PW and TSD pracs.
I can't help but fart like mad today.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, August 22, 2004 | Permalink

Downed 5 scoops of ice-cream in the afternoon at Swensen's. They have this promotion - 5 scoops for $1.39. It was quite cool. Literally. The ice-cream, the blasting air-con and the experience.

The class gave me this amazing Literary Book of Answers which gave me very apt answers to several of my very mystifying questions. I think the book rocks and I'll keep it by my side for as long as it stays. Uh-hm.

School's pretty mad these days, I don't know. Shariza's baywatch runs, Cho's birthday pleasures, Jie Hui's antics that grow funnier by the day, Dawn's growingly more sardonic laughter, Khairul and his "I'm a Singapore Girl"... so much more. Life has become more interesting for me and I don't know what to say. I like to watch these events pass me by. I really like to be entertained as a spectator who is not part of the story. It makes me fulfilled in some way.

I'm proud of Li Jiawei.

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, August 21, 2004 | Permalink

I wanna throw the computer into the nearby Bishan Park drain. Sucks like hell. Keeps screwing up my entries and e-mail attachments. And I have 3 comps at home and none of them work brilliantly. Fine.

Finally, our written report is up. Phew, amidst all that frenzy.

Will have this small role in this new Kids Central Science-Fi show, super lame but quite excited. Filming next week. I hope they don't pon me this time. The other time Production 5's drama serial, supposed to be Ho Wen Long's brother, take promotion shots liao then NEVER ask me back for filming again after cancelling my FIRST scene. Quite frustrating but I think I'll really enjoy this one working with kids.

The Olympics is beginning to interest me. Susilo, can he really make it? Although I silently think not, I support him all the way. Was very proud at his victory over Lin Dan (ironically, his name sounds like zero in Mandarin) and some German guy. And swimming, the show-down between Phelps and Thorpe? And the lack of interest in some sports like Tennis has led to only few spectators watching the matches which is quite pathetic. Imagine playing international soccer with no one cheering.

Duologue has leaped forward a huge step. Group piece is not moving along.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, August 17, 2004 | Permalink

A day worth remembering. I had lotsa thoughts today, many quite mutilating, but more rather enlightening.

I just downed a plate of apples sliced to neat proportions and a wrap of orange peeled to the flesh and a bowl of pickles preserved in fine juice. Heavenly delights! To top it off, a sweating cup of lemon squash. Although it's simple foodfare, it's quite nice enjoying myself as I type this entry.

I just saw a couple having sex in the park. (I chose not to insert an exclamation mark because it doesn't fully express my sheer shock, but here it comes.) SEX IN THE PARK!!!?? O maybe not sex lar, just a guy and a girl walking naked in the darkness.The guy was really naked and the woman had this dark, baggy shirt on so I couldn't see if she had anything down there.They were cautiously navigating the bushes, now and then switching on and off their hand-held torches, so I could actually catch a glimpse of ermmm... things. Anw, JUST an interesting episode of my life.

Random thoughts of the moment:
Studying overseas
Playing my next game of bridge
A ceiling that needs repairing
No eggs and sausages at home
YOUNG CO.

Today I had my TRUE FILES audition at Mediacorp. I guess I blew it. I was too "theatrical" and not "tv-real" enough. Haha.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, August 16, 2004 | Permalink

I woke up this morning, feeling like I never wanted to live again. Why did I wake up? I think I didn't sleep last night, pondering about the aftermath of the calamity. It was all very confusing for me. I seem to have gotten no answer. If this is what you've been waiting for, then here it is.

Yes, my birthday sizzled away. And great, thanks to A55 which sang me a birthday song, PW group for your pleasing card, all your well wishes from all over and the presents you all promised me! Arh, material world.

Tomorrow is another day. I wanna wake up tomorow alive.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, August 15, 2004 | Permalink

I'm literally mad. At nothing. Maybe at myself. I just feel very ANGRY and bottled up. Imploding soon.

Had a really bad day at school today. Crazily tired after a few hours of PW. Hate Fridays. Squeeze your brain juice until you are dead dry.

Went back to Cat High for JC talks yesterday. Talked about TSD to the stoning Sec. 4s, but quite expectedly, nobody was interested in the subject, which is quite maddening coz that means we'll have no Cat High TSD followers yet again. But then again, you can't blame them, Hak Boon has knocked such a strong academic sense into their tiny brains that they apparently lack the ARTS feel. Even the school looks so sciency now. But then again, it's not as if Cat High people flood VJ anyway, so who cares?

Posted by Brandon at Friday, August 13, 2004 | Permalink

Holidays should never be meant for work. Before any holidays come, you always give yourself leeway and plan to indulge in what you REALLY want to do. Then ta-da! The holidays are over and guess what? Your work is not done. Thanks to my impulse to write my TSD essay at 12 midnight last night, I completed it. The ideas just came to mind, and I had to pen them down. And guess what again, the deadline was today. Da.

I realised there are two types of gay men. One type is simply called sissies and they are flamboyantly outward in their expressions of emotions. Another type is damn buff and muscular but their gay ways cannot be hidden, but of course less showy than the open gays. It's gross anyhow. Just put samuel lim and dim sum dollies beefcakes in comparison. It's hard to imagine they belong to the same clan.

The Singapore Idol stage is very ermmm mediocre. I don't know, in foreign shows, their stage is very polished and under light, no scratchmarks show. But our TV stages suck big time. You see scratches littered everywhere, made more obvious under the poorly designed bright lights. I don't particularly enjoy criticising, but this just came to my attention. Anyway, someone who can talk usually can't do, so I'd better shut up before I manage to master how to build a flawless stage. :p

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, August 11, 2004 | Permalink

Arghhhh! I'm addicted to lemon, I suddenly realised. I'd always liked it, but it seems like it has grown into an infatuation. The caustic feel of the cold juice running down my gut, somehow clogging the throat area, cushioning the pharynx, leading to breaths of freshness. No, don't get me wrong, it doesn't get better than a toothbrush!

The Notebook was great. Had been dying to watch it and finally I did. It was this 11.05am show at Marina and there were less than 7 people in the whole theatre which could seat around 7 hundred people? But this ulu place is madly secluded, I thought it was quite a feat for more than 5 people to be there.

I think I seek release in such movies. I wanted to feel touched for a moment in time for I;m so numb with life now, that's why once I read about the Notebook, I sweared I would catch it. It didn't disappoint, although at some parts, it was all quite ambiguous. BUT it still made my day. Phew...alright...

Seoul Garden with kohla boi, tekko, melsan, mz and wei suaaaan. Turnout wasn't that good but stuffed ourselves with beef and ice cream. All quite filling. You know how tired you always feel after a heavy meal? Imagine this meal as A HEAVY HEAVY meal, then you will know how tired we all were.

Singapore Idol wasn't good, but as usual, we Singaporeans take interest in the laughables. If someone has the guts to make a fool out of himself/herself on national tv, Singaporeans would be more than willing to watch them, if not with superb eagerness. Me included.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, August 10, 2004 | Permalink

This Porcelain Rose
Amy Sculley Barnes

Our love is like this porcelain rose -
Fragile, yet unable to be broken.
This rose, like our love,
Will never die.

The dew kissed petals represent
The tears we've cried.
It often says the words of affection
That sometimes go unspoken.

Please do not leave our love on the shelf,
With me, you do not have to be afraid to be yourself.

As our life together begins,
I want you to hold the porcelain rose close to your heart.
And remember our love is too strong to be torn apart.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, August 09, 2004 | Permalink

I believe God is fair. If you're born good in one way, you'd falter in another. And yes, I must say I abhore my flaws. Too many to count. Sometimes, I think I don't deserve a place in vjc, in this society because I've shortchanged people in more ways than one. I'm very selfish and I have become so deluded with life that I've grown so obsessed with some things I do I drown in them. I stutter in my speech and fail to communicate my ideas properly. O why, Brandon, art thou born with defects so acute and misty? I have so much to say, yet so little to utter.

I went to the Singapore Fireworks Festival concert today. I stoned at the stands for 3 hours from 7 to 10, listening to some weird renditions of Chinese and English pop songs. Daniel and Samuel, I regretted asking you two along because it was so damn boring. :P But never mind, at least I spent my night away.

Today I read the newspapers and realised I felt quite aroused by two news articles. Price war again? described how quick local petrol stations matched a price slash initiated by BP, which upped petrol discounts to 16 percent, an all-time high. Another one was about the cost of McDonalds food, forgot the title. I think I like Economics, and applying it. It's hard to find me reading a news article in its full length.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, August 08, 2004 | Permalink

I suddenly recall this phrase "I feed on no life, and no life feeds on me". Where did this come from? Or is it just another result of my imagination?

National Day celebrations Actually, the show wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Cat High celebrations definitely pale in comparison. Spirits were so high. Lame questions like "How do you arrange the words 'New Door' to form one word" (Answer: one word), "if you have 3 apples, and you take away 2, how many apples will you have?" (Answer:2), lames jokes from the emcees, entertaining wushu performance, "inspiring" dance and song by the students from Taiwan and finally mass dance, which was quite fun and shiok, although I forgot all the steps. Sweaty and all, A55 took lotsa photos. That's the problem with digital cameras, you take till you drop.

The Village Good show. Ermmm how should I say it? It's one of those movies which sets you talking and talking after the show. COOL plot, but a little thin. The twist is a very witty and shocking revelation which makes the show worth the ticket price. But how that creature "we never speak of" dies was quite pathetic. He falls down. That's how he dies.

The Revenge of the Dim Sum dollies The first thing I thought before I went for the show is, how the hell are the three girls going to perform on the Esplanade stage? But Selena Tan, Pam Oei and Emma Yong surprised me. Take my hat off Selena Tan, she's a born cabaret wiz. The jokes were REALLY funny, not like those which you find it hard to decide whether to laugh or not laugh. It's outburst after outburst of laughter. They took on different personalities and worked each of them like fine pros. My favourite episodes include PARKING LOT aunties (super convincing Malay accent and bitchiness from Pam), SCHOOL GIRLS (SCGS girls are the first in Singapore to shave their armpits in school, CONVENT girls mocked, RGS girls portrayed as gifted programme muggers), MAIDS IN HEAVEN (Pilipiiiinnnoooo accent! "Lucky Plaza", "Manila", "Employer" spouted in fine comedic sense. The 6 beefcakes took on ermmm quite gayish angel roles, which was funny) and OPPOSITION TAI TAIS ("never ask what your country club can do for you, ask what you can do for your country club"). I enjoyed myself thoroughly.

Was sharing with a friend of mine. If I were in such a huge production for once in life, I'd be happy. But then again, would I be REALLY happy? I was quite very confused.

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, August 07, 2004 | Permalink

I think Heaven is playing tricks on me. I feel like I've been fooled for nothing. How can I put this? Cannot.

Today was a super long day with like 12 periods of lessons and 3 periods of breaks. At the end of the day, I felt like my limbs were about to disconnect and my brain about to disintegrate into a heap. Mr Harris is one funny guy. It's interesting and highly suspicious how much he knows about prostitution in Singapore. When I say much, I really mean much. He knows about prostitutes and classifies them along racial, locational, fee-per-night lines. I'm impressed at his humour, but am rather disturbed by his underlying cynism. He's fits into any character in Decline and Fall quite hideously and yet comfortably. I don't know. Not a simple man.

Shariza is NOT a weird person, I hereby declare with due honesty, respect and sincerity.

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, August 05, 2004 | Permalink

Another day has passed. The long weekend waits for me impatiently.

I'm the PR Manager for Drama Club. How ironic. My PR skills simply suck. Ah well... Since it came, it came, and gotta take it and make the best out of it? Yea. I have to say the Exco is an amazing group of people.

It's scary how:
1) some Science Fac. freaks have 2 full PW files filled with loads of ermmm...information, per group?
2) the seniors have started to mug so relentlessly.
3) clean purified water in Mexico can be mixed with sewage, but still consumed by unsuspecting tax payers.
4) rampant dropping subjects are in jc.
5) boring ICEMAN COMETH can be.
6) fast news can spread without you knowing it.
7) much film makers make out of one movie. (gulps)

There's this sarong (I don't know what it's called, but it's a Malay costume) which Shariza is forcing me to wear. And today she brought a whole bag of Malay costumes for us to wear on Friday. It's weird. She's weird, I mean.

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, August 04, 2004 | Permalink

Group piece is going pretty well. Suddenly at workshop, this idea just sprung up and I think it was quite surprisingly consensual. It's amazing how human minds can stretch ideas to such width and depth. I mean the plot is rather revolting, ain't it A55 peeps?

Project Work is now my number one on my hate list. It's not the peopl anymore. I think we have resolved our differences quite well and have settled down quite comfortably with each other. It's the TASK that I find no purpose in doing at all. If it wasn't 10 percent of uni admission, I wouldn't even care an ass. Breathe....breathe...

I gave the Esplanade outing a miss. I was really tired. My eyes are like damn strained now sia. Struggling to keep them open.

Sometimes, you step into a room but you don't speak to the person in the room. Yet you can walk away as if you had just had the best conversation you could ever ask for. That's the power of communication.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, August 03, 2004 | Permalink

Suddenly today, it seemed like the world had come crashing down on me. I felt like my esteem hit a very low low today. Of course I didn't want to face the world today. A strand of fibre is holding on to me so that I won't fall off this escarpment. The only thing that's there for me to cling on. I don't know, I just felt like saying this.

Sometimes it takes so much to feel this way. Sometimes, it just takes a little to implode, like a falling domino. Crashing down like never before. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. And you're swept away, and you leave no trace of your existence.

When will all this come to an end? So drama right. I tell you, even drama is so real.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, August 02, 2004 | Permalink

Friday's Temasek Seminar was a total bore. I formulated this idea that an important quality Ministers have to possess is the ability to give long, boring, unlifting speeches. I really do. Why can't ministers talk like Jie Hui or like talkshow hosts? And convey the same messages in a more light-hearted, less sleep-inducing way? But I really enjoyed the tea break and lunch. Nice food eh? OCS sounds like a great place to start after NS. But it seems like everything looks great to me, but there's no one thing that YELLS out to me, no extraordinary force to guide me to where I should be in the future.

There is only one month to Dracula. One month. We are only halfway through the script and it's really surprising that there are some people who have yet to put in any effort to memorise their lines. They read off-book, which kind of worries me. I think I really benefit from the privilege of not having the need to memorise any lines, but I think it is only basic that we try reading through lines ourselves at home and subject at least some parts of the script to memory? I don't know. Find it hard to work with actors who don't know what they are saying.

These two days of rehearsals have been great for me. I feel like I'm in a good position. Comfortable role. Challenging yet manageable. But I think it's working with the VERY talented people around me that makes this journey (not as if I've completed it...) a fulfilling one.

Haven't touch my homework for 3 days liao. I feel quite insecure... Haha, I find it all quite funny.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, August 01, 2004 | Permalink