Jolly Folly, Mighty Morphin'

Watched Mean Girls at Jubilee. It's a super bitchy movie. I think people watch it because it reflects the kind of plastics people yearn to be, just that they don't want to admit it. Cady or Regina kind of people. Quite funny, but couldn't forget the phrase "furgly slut". I actually felt good after watching it.

Had some time in the evening, so went to library to look for duologues. I'm thrilled. I was reading an extract from "The two gentlemen of Verona" on the bus. And I can't deny that I'm excited because I find it rather funny, quirky and very dramatic too. Wait till Khairul sees what I've found.

PW beckons. 

 

 

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, July 28, 2004 | Permalink

As if our PW progress wasn't slow enough, such a thing had to happen. But I really do understand. Hate to say it but tempers do flair and what could I have done? I was kind of helpless seeing some of my members get so emotionally affected by PW today. It's all stress lar. People not being able to work together, the pressure of deadlines, some doing some not doing, a lot of things sia, all just explode into a mess. But things will be fine. I'm kinda feeling quite good these days, so I'm saying this. If not I'd be the one blowing up. :)

I was thinking the days after exams would be kind of peaceful and more relaxing. But on the contrary, a rockslide of things seems to be cascading my way. Too many lar, sort of can't handle everything. The most important thing I'm worried about now is PW and TSD. I have no shit idea what the teacher is talking about. It's really too cheem for me to handle. It seems like theatre students are deliberately trying to make things difficult and it's a test of who can see through to the deepest level of understanding of a text. Of course I would have been relegated in this league long ago if they started telling us how to answer tsd theory questions at the start of thge year. Now still kind of holding on. Welcome to TSD man. Hehe.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, July 26, 2004 | Permalink

There is a sparkle in her eyes. You never see her cause the light blinds you.

Today, Daphne, Ruth and Yin Ren, with their siblings came over to my house to do focus group. It was super funny. Yin Ren's sister Minqian must have spoken less than 30 words the entire day. Ruth's brother, Daniel is this rather shy-while-trying-to-be-naughty choir boy-cum-rugby player and being the eldest kid, he was rather sensible lar. My brother, arh, they say so cute, but once they leave, he'd have something up his sleeves again. Just watch him in action, you'd be shocked.

I'm quite alarmed at the fact that the first draft of our written report must be handed in in two weeks' time. Harloz! We've virtually done nothing for PW. We're in deep, hot shit. (Although I can't imagine how hot shit feels like)

Then, she blinks for you to see her beautiful face. You'd never want her to open her eyes again, yet you want to see how lovely her eyes are.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, July 25, 2004 | Permalink

O I almost forgot! KHAIRUL is my duologue partner! I kinda sensed it when they started reading out names coz I don't know??? You'll get people whom you LEAST expected. But somehow I think we'll do well! Hehehe... Can't wait to start.

Young Co. is in a total mess now. Everyone is not happy. Actors who are supposed to be present aren't there. Actors with small roles are present but the diva-resque big shots have yet to arrive. They conveniently shut off their phones so that no one can reach them. Even the director says that he/she cannot make it - last minute. So what is the stable of actors to do? Not enough actors to run scenes, no one to direct us. What's worse is that many of us rushed over to the rehearsal amidst our busy schedules (I'm not that bad, coz I don't work) just for a rehearsal for a show that doesn't pay us. Many of them were cursing and rambling about how bad this year is compared to previous production seasons. But of course I don't believe in cursing. I am not happy too but I seriiously have nothing to say. I don't think it's very nice. I don't know. Most of us tdoubt this year's show will be a bang at all. just have to hope that things will change next week...

Went to NJ CO concert yesterday. I enjoyed it! I remember attending the Cat High Band concert and simply falling asleep even before the interval. I think I've learnt to appreciate music more. Wow.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, July 25, 2004 | Permalink

Today was SYF! I really thought I could have done much better. I knew I wasn't in character, really. And I went on quite half-heartedly. But I could tell the others were rather in role, but it was quite hard for me today. I don't know why, just couldn't. And finally I can wash my hands off this play, I'm TOTALLY sick of this play. But I'm absolutely proud of the ensemble.

Play of the Year - ACJC, with their elaborate set and fantastical storyline. Totally off realism. It's something which I think would come out of tsd students. Quite cheem for a simple person like me. But love the well-tackled themes, but was hoping the story could have been more succinct.

Best Actor - Elizer, VJC. Congrats!!! I think everyone was so happy for you and proud to see you receive the award. You did well and did the school proud!!!

Best Actress - *****, MI. A witty actress. Quite a tickling play. But as always, I feel, comedy is still simpler than tragedy.

I'm over the top, that the whole thing is over and we're taking a break. We will move on to a new phase of ermmm life? And put Shattered at the back of our minds and work towards future targets.

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, July 24, 2004 | Permalink

Never knew I could feel like this

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, July 22, 2004 | Permalink

Today at tsd lesson, Mrs Low brought up Moulin Rouge as a vaudeville type or something. I suddenly realised how long since I watched that movie and listened to the soundtrack. At that moment, I could just burst out belting out song after song from the movie. It's simply amazing how gorgeous the Moulin Rouge is. A fantastic love story.  "The woman I love... is dead." Before I get into all the mushy details, I shall stop here. It's great.

To Dawn, take care too! I guess Mrs Chua was a little too harsh on you. Like you said, I'm sure things will work out after some..uh, time. So take care! Geogers are all behind you! A55 too!

I feel that people around me are very caring. They have such strong fibres of truth in them. At one time, I believed performers were all fake dolls jumping around, fooling around like nobody's business. Humanity is everywhere, but it's bare humanity that is far more appreciated. I just want to know the truth sometimes. I can never hide.

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, July 21, 2004 | Permalink

Project Work REALLY sucks. I remember the day when my group was formed I was absent from school, so I had no choice as to whom I wanted to work with. So I landed in a group where I thought I would never be able to work in. Michelle, Jonathan and Ling. Then things turned out for the better. We were more motivated and took off on what seemed a marvellous project. But it all came crashing down, at least to me. The whole group has this air of death and tension which I'd love to break. I rest my case. I'm just shocked. I'm not trying to be bitchy or over-meticulous here, but sometimes, I feel more pressurised to be at a PW meeting than doing a PC paper.
 
I read in some article that at night during sleeptime, millions of bugs engulf your body and eat up your living cells. In the morning, a shower will wash off all the dead bugs and decomposed cells. You are actually living underneath a new skin layer. And muscles are eaten by the body at night, so it's better to charge the body with proteins so the body chooses glycogen instead. I don't know how credible this information is, ask the Bio Bois. I'm just amazed at how you're not alone when you're asleep. And also at how you eat so much, yet you get eaten too.
 
Today was simply a shit day. Yes I was pulling a long face from Literature lesson onwards. I'm sorry! And thanks to those A55 peeps who tried comforting me. I really couldn't find a reason why I'm so sick. I couldn't conjure a motivation that triggered the gloom in me. Why I feel like detaching myself from the world for a while and just living like a wanderer? Why sometimes, you don't get what you want? Why life imposes so many shackles yet demands that death follows on its heels?
 
Please believe me. I didn't sulk to get attention. I just couldn't manage a smile.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, July 20, 2004 | Permalink

My whole body is aching today. Don't know why. Perhaps I slept in the wrong position.

If there was one thing I remember today, it's how Bimbo Crystal simply nodded in recognition to a class laughing like mad. She was walking around letting people see her answers, for some reason. Then Khairul or Audrey or someone noticed and announced that there was a calculation error which if rectified could add 10 marks to her econs paper which would render an A and she would top the class. She gave this blur look around, nodding as if for no purpose, perhaps shocked at the sudden discovery. We were clapping for her and she kept nodding and saying thigns like, "HAr? O OK... Heehehe" That sheepish look of ignorance and innocence. Well done man!

Posted by Brandon at Monday, July 19, 2004 | Permalink

I remember what you said last night, "Is it so hard to tell me face to face?"
 
My answer is yes.
 
Today I slacked the morning, staring out into the wide blue sky, listening to the radio, contemplating the events of the following week. Long time since I went to the park. So I went. The sun today was great, really warm and chirpy. I felt like writing a poem under the shady tree with the largest crown around as the wind rustled my hair and cooled my limbs. I imagined the words.
 
"Missus rutabaga, Missus rutabaga,
Clean all the trees and mix the batter.
Come to the window
See the light shine into the cottage. Hm ha!"
 
"Missus rutabaga, Missus rutabaga,
Why didn't you write your journal today?
Eheh, the butter melted.
So I wiped the mess and mopped the floor"
 
"O why, Missus rutabaga, it's soil you're cleaning"
 
Lame, but I take pride in the smallest things. 

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, July 18, 2004 | Permalink

The new Chomp Chomp lacks the nostalgia that once lingered along the oily walkways before the renovation. Today, I visited the same place again and realised how the nice, brightly coloured seats and tables, stallboards and plants, steep prices and poor customer service have oddly replaced the once more primitive, original Chomp Chomp. Don't like it.
 
But sorry, I still love the food! And the sweat. And the talking till the cows came home. Of course we couldn't talk too long, people were impatiently waiting for seats. Scurried to Somerset to played pool. My (already lousy) skills were put to use, only to disappoint. HAHAH~~~ WORST showdown of my life heh.
 
I'm home. My parents missed me. They called me to their room to just talk. We looked through my childhood photos as my father dug my ears, which was DAMN shiok. My mother was telling me how good I looked when I was a boy and now I look like shit. Haha, she's the best mum lar. And papa's ear-digging skills are superb. And he just asked me what I wanted for breakfast. He's gonna buy the family breakfast again on an early Sunday morning.
 
Young Co today. My role, as if not small enough, got cut by another 50 percent. And guess what, I have no lines now because I'm a mute!!! O fine, and lots of scene cuts. But after the rehearsal, I actually felt good because I liked the role. I mean I did. At least today I felt like the company had one purpose and that was to make the show a good one.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, July 18, 2004 | Permalink

Pre-seminar site visit to ISD is mad. Bored me to my skin. I mean, it's interesting lar, the aspect of spying like James Bond, espionage scams and fights aginst terrorists. But arhh, I just didn't get the whole point of the thing. And the girls were mad over the dense network of mosquitoes buzzing around and sucking blood. Luckily we had long pants on.

NOT looking forward to the pre-seminar workshop tomorrow. Looking forward to the seminar itself, dunno why. I think they chose the wrong person to fo for the seminar lor. Must be eloquent and friendly, wise and enthusiastic. Seriously, I lack all of these. I should be sitting at home swapping mosquitoes instead.

Samuel's birthday celebration at Chomp Chomp tomorrow. Which is damn weird for a celebration. Organised by Daniel? Shawn? I'm looking forward to seeing the Cat High gang yet again!

My relatives like to suck money from my father. Keep asking my father to pay for things he didn't buy or ask for. And my papa, being the peacemaker he is, would always oblige even if the sum of money was quite large. Don't want to talk about this. Spans from my childhood.

Posted by Brandon at Friday, July 16, 2004 | Permalink

I am drained frm drama. Kenneth keeps asking us for runs. Good runs. And I found that it was so hard for me to get into character and really stay in it. I feel REALLY, and I mean really, jaded and ultimately the play IS over-rehearsed. Ah well.

I think I've blown my Lit lor. Totally. Mr Harris kept hinting, catching my eye whenever he was emphasising something, as I'm a dumbo baby. And Mr Teo said The Geranium, our PC poem, is about loneliness, but I wrote about sex. Absolute mess.

"I believe there's a hero in all of us"

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, July 15, 2004 | Permalink

I am happy today. I am.

Very satisfied at reaching home at 7pm. Having a leisurely dinner. Shooting seedless grapes into my mouth, squeezing lychees with the palms of my hands, drinking ice water. Watching tv (years since I watched the 7pm Chinese Drama Serial. years is of course exaggerated). Enjoying life. All the buzz at school has devalued the worth of my life to that satisfiable by fulfilling the bare desires. I must be tired.

Had a tsd workshop with senior Shan. Super physical but seriously lacking in engagement. Quite boring. But you could see how learned she was, with all her theories and abstract concepts she acquired from US. She said mugging is very rampant in America. (mugging as in indecent acts of theft etc.) Security quite bad. But a foreign land can shape a person quite differently from a local education. Arh, heck, think about it next year.

Birthdays are a touchy thing(no pun intended). Don't birthdays kill/fuel friendships? Ah yar, just learn to cope with a birthday lacking in warmth, of solitude so that next time, your lowered expectations prevent disappointments. But getting what you really want definitely consoles you right? So stay happy and be contented with the people around you.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, July 13, 2004 | Permalink

I think I should breathe harder. To notice that there are people around me who are less fortunate. To sensitise myself to the fact that there is more than the world that is around me. I'm getting more and more self-centred. I AM shocked at this human quality I possess.

Mr Chew just shared some really nice things with us in class. Touching things. He said he would never want to trade our class for any other class. He said he was very proud of us for doing what we did, which he said he would never be able to do if he was at our age. He said he cried on Sunday morning writing his journal for he felt rather emotional after seeing us slog through VIP programme open house, busking and public performance. He said he felt like he was a parent who felt so obligated to watch our performance on Friday, but felt extremely guilty and dejected as he had other committments on that night.

On that very same night, I saw him wiping chairs alone, at night, outside the toilet. He was rather tired, I could see it in his body and eyes. The only thing he told me was that he was very sorry he couldn't attend the show that night. Me being the insensitive himbo never realised how he actually felt that actual moment - that moral urgings of a parent ready to sacrifice for a child, but fettered by a stumbling obstacle.

It made me say to the class in a moment of impulse, "I think we wouldn't want to trade Mr Chew for anybody else." It was followed by a weak litter of applause. I guess some people don't share my sentiments but I really think Mr Chew is a phenomenal teacher and mentor who is definitely dedicated and attached. I seriously am not licking boots whatsoever, but I think I ought to let others know how great a CT we have.

No matter how drama sucked today, I have to say I learnt a lesson that kittens in cardboard boxes will never learn.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, July 12, 2004 | Permalink

Samuel's birthday is today. Just have a few wishes for him. A few only. Wish he grows taller. Less muggish. More dumb. Crazier. More playful. Allow us to go to his house. Come out of Thomson. Less silent.

Busking at Orchard was an absolute disgrace. Hahaha, I can't help but laugh out loud. It's one of the silliest things I've done in my life. But you know what, I enjoyed it. All I can remember now is Dawn, Carol, Michelle and Yu Hui standing in front laughing at the dumbness of the whole thing. But at least that kept us going. Did some body painting and surprisingly earned some dough drawing spiderman and webs on little children's hands, which looked nowhere near what they were supposed to be at all. But the parents still paid. Amazingly adorable kids. Kids make my life more wonderful. Kids.

Public P was super draining today. Loved the first group piece Who wants to go to Heaven, first time watching. It was caustically satirical and at some parts sickly suggestive, but you wonder how a performance makes you so happy. One more piece which stuck to my mind. SUE ANN! Your dance was phenomenal! Absolutely enthralling! Amazed man! Woo hoo!

Corrie passed out! Hope you get WELL really soon. Don't work yourself too much!

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, July 11, 2004 | Permalink

Public P. Absolute smash.

Samuel, Alaric, Yi Yang, Daniel, Andy, Alex Ko and Teck Kuan, thanks a Venus for surprising me for your attendance was really very much appreciated. Really. Forgot to thank you all at supper. Had a really fun night out just talking crap again.

Public P was a success in the sense it was something the tsd peeps really felt proud of and it was a platform to perform to a great audience. I don't know if the others have the same sentiment but I enjoyed myself immensely despite being all sick and drained.

These days, ESPECIALLY after Tan Kheng Hua came over to give the tsd peeps a talk on career in theatre, I felt really confused about trying it out in the theatre scene in the future. I spoke to a few people and the conclusion I made was that theatre wasn't my cup of tea from how I look at it. I felt that I couldn't envisage myself in a theatre company, acting for shows and earning money for doing something like that. I don't particularly like the attention, the bitchiness, the money, the popularity thing about theatre and tv.

Then Public P came. Then I realised I really DO like performing. And this has to come when you had just dismissed theatre as a career. I ABSOLUTELY do like the stage, it's amazing! Especially knowing that the audience will be affected in some way or another. Now what?

Sometimes I just hate theatre for shaping the person I am, but sometimes I just love it for the satisfaction I can derive from it, which I can find in no other place but on the stage.

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, July 10, 2004 | Permalink

Ah well, now at the library after skipping pe due to flu and cough. If this goes on for another week, I may consider killing myself because I'm beyond cure. Maybe I should extend it because I've been sneaking some soft drinks and chips into my gut, ermmm not exactly very healthy.

Anw, PLEASE come for tsd public performance. This Friday, Saturday and Sunday. 3 nights with 3 different sets of performances. 6 dollars for one night, 10 for 2 nights and 15 for all three nights. 2 tickets on the same night will still cost $12 dollars though. Can help you all book tickets, or can try your luck at the front of house on the night itself. 7pm. Come on Friday! I'm doing more stagework on Friday. :)

Come for busking also! VJ will be having their busking along Orchard. The whole of 04A55 will be performing! So come down and support us!

Just got the College Day emcee job with Desiree, but got some clashes with Drama SYF finals, I doubt I can make it for the College Day rehearsals. And Jie Hui also got the concert segment emcee job. TSD people mar, can't fault them for being stage lovers. :P :P :P

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, July 08, 2004 | Permalink

Came back form Wei Ming's house hours ago. From a place that has been overused for stay-overs and barbeque sessions. Sort of beginning to feel the strain we are putting on the Chua brothers and his family, who without fail prepare food for us and lay the mats and switch on the ventilators and stuff. Thanks, Wei Mianggggg....

I decided to watch Spiderman 1.

"He asked me what I thought about you. I said, 'the great thing about MJ, when you look into her eyes and she looks back in yours, everything feels not quite normal because you feel stronger, weaker at the same time. You feel excited, yet at the same time, terrified. The truth is you don't know what you feel except the kind of man you want to be. It is as if you've reached the unreachable that you'd never been ready for.'"

How beautiful, how beautiful.

Not being in school for 3 days has caused me to be ill, ill, ill. The image of class flickers in my mind. I will make it back a strong soul. I will, because Spiderman never says die and and believes that there is a hero in everyone. With great power comes great responsibility. I should remember this.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, July 05, 2004 | Permalink

Don't Cry Out Loud
________

Baby cried the day the circus came to town
'Cause she didn't like parades just passing by her
So she painted on a smile and took up with some clown,
While she danced without a net upon the wire

I know a lot about her
Cause you see,
Baby is an awful lot like me.

We don't cry out loud,
Just keep it inside
And learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall
Remember you almost had it all.

Baby saw that when they took the big top down
They had left behind her dreams among the litter
And the different kind of love she thought she'd found
It was nothing more than sawdust and some glitter

But Baby can't be broken,
'Cause you see,
She had the finest teacher
That was me.

Don't cry out loud,
Just keep it inside
And learn how to hide your feelings
Fly high and proud
And if you should fall
Remember you almost had it all.
I told her

Screw those who say Spiderman is corny. I guess I'm superficial, to believe in such fiction and made-up love.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, July 05, 2004 | Permalink

Now at Wei Ming's house. In the background, I hear Alaric, Dominic, Kiat Chay and Melvin talking crap. Daniel and Yi Yang next door playing PS. Waiting for 2 to come, so we can finally like start watching the match.

I got the smallest role, god really! Damn, was I disappointed when I heard that. Virtually less than 3 lines in a play that can reach up to 2 hours. Throughout the reading, I was thinking and thinking like hell. But I really admit that some of the others are damn good, much better than me, really. So at the end, I really put aside all my dissatisfaction and disappointment and left. Sometimes, you don't get what you expect, so move on with life.

I saw the magazine on the shelf. It sent shudders down my spine, but I still have the image in my mind.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, July 05, 2004 | Permalink

"I cannot love you because I'm Spiderman. Spiderman has to fight many enemies. Spiderman cannot put you at such a risk."

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, July 04, 2004 | Permalink

Drained. Absolutely.

Cooped up at SRT from 2 to 10. Seriously I didn't like it.And with that voice of mine from a cough rate of (quoting dawn) 48 times/minute, I couldn't bear the elements and yielded to my poor immune system. I was the last one to audition. The auditions WERE held, finally after so so long at 8.30 pm. Madness. Results tomorrow. Apparently, if I get the role I was asked to do today, I would have to touch someone's boobs and seduce her. I remember:

"It's only acting, young kid. It's not real."

It dawned on me that acting is really commercial and for the pure sake of entertainment. We're like clowns floating around trying to make a paying audience happy. We must do that only because people paid to watch it and only because profits can be reaped from it.

This afternoon, I received an sms from a good friend from Primary School. "...I'm enjoying the music I'm composing now. U?" For a moment, I didn't know what to reply. At this period in my life, I lack passion in things. Call it jaded. Call it sucky. Or even trying to talk big. But how can I phrase it in a more appropriate way? Hm.

Letter writing has become my new hobby. I've suddenly found that I CAN channel things I wanna say into written form. And words just come to me. No need to brainstorm theme, topic whatever. I place the tip of my pen on my notebook, and the words just flow out like a waterfall waiting for water to dry out. Which will never happen.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, July 04, 2004 | Permalink

Finally.

I expected to flop for PC. AND I KNEW IT. I'm half laughing half shouting now, bah. Brandon arh Brandon, can you please be logical and write/think like how a human does? As expected, my interpretation went off the cliff again, totally obsolete. I pride myself to the fact that at least I found Zhon Yun who wrote something remotely similar.

Amazing Race is back! And reality fever is BACK! I'm ready for it.

I realise Mr Harris is a very depressed person and a very insecure one. I see some qualities in him common to me, and that set me thinking throughout the tutorial today. I couldn't understand his high-brow D and F bullshit (but if you listened shit could prove useful) so I just sat there, stoning and waiting for him to say, "Ok that's all folks." The thing I remember today was his back facing me as I walked past him. He was digging into a plate of chicken rice and he looked up occasionally at the 04A51 table, then went back to eating, with his travel bag just on the stool beside him. I couldn't see his face, but I remembered this scene. Although I always thought he would fit into one of the characters in Decline and Fall seamlessly, I empathised with this lonely soul.

My throat is damn off now. I can't change pitch now without breaking glass. And I just downed 2 filled glasses of ginseng-chrysanthemum-sugar concoction, which tasted distressingly awful. My voice is really getting from bad to worse.

I'm absolutely blown away by Spiderman 2. Earth-shattering, heart-digging, mind-devouring action and scenes that really touched me. It's a long time since a movie could do that to me. And Tobey Mcguire's voice is perfect! Was joking that in Spiderman 3, Kirsten Dunst (I think I spelt correctly) will become Chun-Li and fight enemies with Spidey, that would be cool. Couple fighter. But it's so lame that the box office would just flop.

Young Co. is finally decided. Confirm, no change, add stamp, plus chop. By a sudden twist of fate we're doing Dracula, to be directed by Mark and Carina. And I pleased that Mark has such a vision for the company. I personally love the play. I'm yelping in excitement, seriously. And I think Mark is phenomenal, he really cares about each one of us, unlike other directors who sort of fail to notice things. Please contact me for tickets for night shows on 31 Aug or 1 Sep. Please!!! From now on, my Saturdays and Sundays are wholly gone, and I say it literally, exactly, and painfully.

Posted by Brandon at Friday, July 02, 2004 | Permalink