Jolly Folly, Mighty Morphin'

My Internet is driving me mad.

Watched Shanty, follow that dream. Or Shanty, follow your dream. The show wasn't worth it lar, so much so that I don't even remember the title. The play was complimetary because drama club teacher Mr Teo knew the director. I bet there weren't enough people watching the show, so we were called on to fill seats. The acting was really poor, the set was ghastly and the plot was cliched lar. The TSD seniors were like crazily criticising the play, namely Nicole and Adeline, as if the play was of no value. But at least to me, my interest did sustain for a while before my face went down into my hands.

School sucked again.

I don't know why I blew up at Jie Hui when she threw her sago seed on my uniform. I just felt the fun that went too far, had to end, after she, for no apparent reason, poured some milky ice into my cup of lime juice. Kind of disgusted at what she did, I don't know, I wasn't in the best mood of my life, so my temper kind of flared.

My voice is off now. Too strained. I speak like a railway train on a track with irregular breaks and bends. I don't feel like opening my mouth anymore, ANYMORE.

Posted by Brandon at Friday, April 30, 2004 | Permalink

I remember, " I work so hard for the family, always providing for all of their needs, now she won't even talk to me, I'm always there for her, can't she see..." This is Calin's part in the Prelim's musical. Humming it everyday, I don't know why. I think I like the tune, it's mild yet very telling.

Showed monologue moment. I guess I need a lot of movement work to work on. Also, the voice thing always pops up. "Your voice is too high!" is here again to haunt me. There's this part in the monologue where I am to show a man then a woman then a man then a woman. So my voice has to go lower and deeper then another moment, higher and bitchier. Senior Shirley said my natural voice is a tenor, and I can't do bass and soprano, so it's pathetic I'm like stuck in the middle of nowhere.

Had drama. : ) .

It has sure been a nerve-wrecking and stressing week for everyone in school. I'm myself torn apart liao lar. Now I shall indulge in the precious 7 hours during which I can shut my eyes without even harbouring any thoughts of opening them.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, April 27, 2004 | Permalink

What more can I say about school? Disillusioned soul. Trying to get out of a system clogged by brats and rats.

School just sucks. I wish I could just leave everything behind once in a while, then picks things up again when I've got enough rest. Haunted House everyday after school, monologue to be polished, Drama everyday till Friday, GP Soc meeting tomorrow at 5, Del's meeting at 4.45, Shift Haunted House stuff at 5, Geography Test on Friday. Who can give me another body? Or maybe a potion to kill myself now, so I can awake sometime later like Juliet.

The only thing that's keeping me alive is sleep and food. How ironic, but isn't the impact of all failures cushioned by these two elements of life? Yes, stop all the clocks and cut off the telephones.

I stood in front of the mirror and tried to smile. I couldn't.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, April 26, 2004 | Permalink

Saturday! I feel like I'm the luckiest and happiest guy on earth!

Drama in the morning. Things went normal. I'm beginning to believe more in the team than doubt it. I've got this feeling people are distancing themselves from me because I'm from TSD and Young Co.. But I'm just simply me. I think the student director Kenneth doesn't dare to criticise me for my poor rehearsals because I'm somewhat different from the rest, which makes me feel really really uncomfortable. But I love the team for what it is.

Left at 1.30 and headed for Young Co. but was late. Steven Clark was with us!!! So honoured! Had a great workshop with him. His activities had a lot of meaning behind them. I'm starting to believe in my identity in Young Co., with people starting to open their arms towards a 16-year-old, with people willing to work with you and laugh with you. Probably the best session I've ever had. I'm glad I didn't choose to go for Parents-meet-Teacher Session, if not I'd have missed out on one fine day.

Then had to do this scene about sex. So Jac was paired off with me and it was so damn funny. She said she was 25 and she felt uncomfortable running her hands round my 16-year-old chest and stomach. Again this matter of age. I was a little uncomfortable too. Just imagine the girls and guys in TSD rubbing their body parts against each other! But it worked out well. Had extreme fun!

WENT TO KISS ME LIKE YOU MEAN IT, which was so cool. It was in a black box, with a small audience capacity which gave a sense of intimacy with the audience. Had to reset the scene for Act 1 and set up Act 2. Although the set was simple, it cost Mark $2000, which Mark said was fairly cheap already. The crew of the show were great fun to work with. Although in the end I had to collect donations, collect suggestion forms, sell T-shirts, usher the audience and wash the wine cups, it was great satisfaction.

As Mark talked me though the play, I could feel his passion for theatre. He was tame from the outside but ferociously flaming from the inside, you could sense it in the way he talked. Then the show started. Saw Steph Song and Denise ______ from some radio station. Then the most rewarding moment of the day was when someone called Peggy came up to me and said:

"O, ermmm (giving it a second's thought) you are Brandon right?"
"Yea, and..."
"You're from the Young Company?"
"O yesyes, ermmm how do you know me?"
"Arh I watched your monologue for the showcase. Loved it."

I was lost for words. A stranger just walks up to you and says she loves your theatre. How satisfying that was. I smiled back to her with as much passion and ardour as I would do a curtain call. That made my day, as I strolled along Victoria Street singing in the moonlight and went to bed with joy in my heart.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, April 25, 2004 | Permalink

Long time since I blogged. Identified that the Friday-Saturday marathon of events always keeps me busy and away from the computer.

FRIDAY
Sports Day! Helen is one fast bunny! Never won marginally, leaving other runners gasping in disbelief. Great athlete! Then ulu ulu I was sabotaged to play pushball telematch for URSA. Yong Sheng suddenly walked up to Cho and I and asked if we wanted to play since they needed players, so according to the class, "the two unfittest guys were sent to play pushball" Haha.

First game, we won! 1-0. Actually we got a second goal, but instead of pushing from the back of the ball, I pulled from the front of the ball, past the goal line. So that one didn't count. But it was so exciting! Second game we won! 2-0 (i forgot this one). Third game we won! 1-0! Overall Pushball champion --- URSA~! Haha, and the house champion --- URSA!!! YEa~~~~~

Watched Sound and Beauty with TSD peeps. Debra did a great job with The Sound of a Voice, and it was very fascinating to watch. Especially the last hanging scene which left the audience gaping awide. The House of Sleeping Beauties was even more lovely, the blockings and directions were great. But I guess I prefer more light-hearted theatre. This type of plays set me thinking too much!

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, April 25, 2004 | Permalink

Last night I stayed up late to rush through Lit Project. I was so damn tired. So tired I forgot to wake up at 6. My maid didn't bother to wake me up coz she's got this impression I don't wake up so early on certain days, but she forgets it's always Wednesdays. So I climbed out of bed only to find myself looking at the clock's hour hand pointing slightly over 7. But my kind Auntie drove me to school. It was like Amazing Race ok... You could feel the adrenaline rush as the clock ticked past 7.40. The car swirling round wrong bends, the traffic lights playing a game of red or green with us, the councillors staring at your slow gait. Arg, I was late.

I'm unreadable according to Jie Hui. No offence but sometimes I just hope someone can read me. : )

Showed my monologue moments to Miss Fezah in the studio and to the gang of Jie Hui, the swing breakers, Dawn and Yin Ren in the costume room. I knew Fezah didn't like it. The energy was low, low low. Then with the gang in the costume room, it actually worked out quite fine to me. And the whole experience was very funny. I'm glad I'm among people with high laughing frequencies.

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, April 22, 2004 | Permalink

I think I should look on the bright side of life and really start living. I've been lying to myself.

Humans interview was really fun! Pure fun, of debating. The three interviewers were from three different places lar. But the person directly in front of me had the tag "Principal, Temasek Junior College" right in my face. They asked so dumb questions lar. "So how is Literature coming along for you?" "What do you think of Geography?" "Why aren't you taking Chinese in VJC?" Of course, being the crapper I am, I just talk like I very noble like that, as if I know a lot like that, package my answer so neatly with a nice ribbon on it, I felt proud of my crapping ability.

One glitch: "So why do you think Forum Theatre is a banned? And why are theatre practitioners always so depressed?" I was ready to tackle questions, but not something like that! I tried to convince them that I am a happy theatre practitioner and that everyone will face a certain dose of depression, just that we express them better outwardly and that even doctors are depressed but they vent frustrations on test-tubes rather than on an audience. Of course these words were again packaged to make it sound less crude, but with underlying connotations detectable only by sharper theatre people. Very fun. The Temasek principal was furiously rebutting my points, but I threw her words back to in her face. That felt really good.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, April 20, 2004 | Permalink

It's unbelievable how I can put up a front of joy in school. People just said I'm funny today and I have a new rival - esmond - to be the funniest guy, after his tickling speech about Madame Buttterfly. I simply shook my head. It's a risible assumption, that superficial things tell the truth and that what you see is what you think you get. No. Life just isn't a bed of roses.

Young Co. Wendy farewellTo be held at Marcus' house. You don't know who freaked out I am about it. Slap yourself Brandon. Get real.

I'm sick of my two brothers. They drive me nuts. Tabithan simply talks back at you. Tristan agrees on the surface but never fulfills his promises. I think I've failed as a brother to inculcate the right values in them. They get on my nerves. As if studying for Econs test wasn't enough, as if the multiple deadline-defying projects aren't stressing enough, they have to rub salt onto my wound. What have I done?

Seeking for common grounds. Hope to land soon.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, April 19, 2004 | Permalink

Life is weird. It tortures you.

CIP Gardening in the morning. Ms F Su started out ultra bitchy when we first met her. "You've got no idea how much work we have to do!", "O guys, please stop playing, we're here to weed, not fool around.", "TSD people are just attention seekers..." Ok, she became fine after all. All her jokes were so lame.

Daphne: "O my goodness!"
Ms F Su: "You don't have any!"

Ms F Su: blahblahblah (some joke I didn't catch) arh ha, caught you there, it was a horny joke.

And she said I deserved a medal for being the most hardworking person in the group. Everyone laughed! Haha, yar lar, not that I wasn't the biggest slacker there. It was great sweat under the sun and superb fun out there.

Drama I was so damn shagged after weeding. It was the usual "Eh I'm so tired" me. Then helped Ruth with her lines. Yes, you're getting it! Don't give up! Left in a huff realising I was late for young co.

I'd rather not mention Young Co. for today. Tried Orange McFizz and I'm impressed! Love the taste! I'm lovin' it!

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, April 17, 2004 | Permalink

My eyelids are slipping. But American Idol always keeps me alive! YEa~~~

School ended. Wanted to watch vj vs tpj soccer match, but it seemed no one was free to watch with me. then Alaric called to ask me go down to nj to watch nj vs aj match. I was free, so I went lor. The support from nj people is quite pathetic. Even the ajc people cheered louder than the home-advantaged njcians. I was just clapping whenever there was a worthy goal or emotional uplift, just like how the seemingly dead njcians were doing it. Anyway, it was a watchable match. NJ had Lady Luck knocking on their door, so they scrapped through with a 1-0 victory.

I feel inspired. I don't know why. Watching the soccer people play for their school. A moment of pride and triumph. I think that will make me happy. Playing a sport and knowing so many people are supporting you. It's a good feeling.

Then went for dinner with Mel and Alaric at J8. Good luck for both of your election speeches and rallies! :)

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, April 15, 2004 | Permalink

This morning, I was energised. My fever had finally subsided after my popping two pills last night. (can I use subsided? ah yo, my english really deteriorating...) Project Work was very productive. Literature was a major scolding from Mrs Ang, but I agreed with her, and her disappointment in us did show. Econs tutorial, I have nothing to say. Econs lecture, Mrs Chua go so fast, didn't even absorb anything, was laughing at her portrait the whole time lar. Tsd Workshop, got grilled for my monologue, a lot of work coming up. You suddenly feel a pile of stress just cascade on your weak and rusty back.

Went to Marine Parade Library to look for Neil Simon's Rumors. Corrie said there was one copy there! But couldn't find it for the second consecutive time. I had to read the book! So I rushed down to Toa Payoh Library and finally got hold of the elusive copy of the farce. Haiz...read 2/3s liao, very, very funny!

CHMA results are out. Justin Jap's in, not unexpected. Wu Chean's in with Stanley. And surprisingly WEI YI got in. Wow, with some Justin Seah guy, singing Business , which I've never heard of in my whole life. Congrats!!! But I wanna go WATCH!

I still feel lonely tonight. It's just me. My fever is coming back again. Some people doubt that I'm really ill, but what must I do to make you believe me? Land in hospital? I'm really running a fever! For goodness sake, believe a sick man.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, April 13, 2004 | Permalink

God help me! I need some space to breathe. Today after TSD lecture, a thought brushed through my mind - go home. I really needed a rest and I could sense a temperature running. I was resolute, even if my illness was mild. Now I can't tell whether I left because I was sick, or simply tired, or just didn't want to stay. So I skipped econs tutorial and pe and went home, just after I visited the Marine Parade Library to look for Neil Simon's Rumors, but in vain.

A great nap on the bus for an hour. Came home and took a refreshing shower and took another one-hour nap. Felt better, sang some karaoke and practised my monologue's moments. I suck at this, and starting is probably the toughest part of it all.

Read Madame Butterfly once again to refresh my memory. I think the whole plot just slipped my mind again. Whatever~.

Struggling through Econs. I really hate it. Really.

My eyelids are getting heavy again. I admire Dawn's ability to stay awake and alert despite a screamingly short amount of sleep time. I must have slept at least 10 hours through today. Just touched my forehead. It's steaming hot now. What to do?

Posted by Brandon at Monday, April 12, 2004 | Permalink

Drama morning Jingyi is a good president. Sudipta is a chuckling joker whose face just sets you laughing the whole damn day. Kenneth is a responsible and kind director. Drama Club members are really fine people. Had to skip tsd room clean up coz of drama. Sorry tsd folks out there. Will be there at the next one k. And yes I stole the saw for drama and have yet to return it. Hope Nigel doesn't read this.

Young Co Dissected The Crucible. Great play with wonderful character entrances. Tension-filled. Rich theme. Dramatic. But didn't like it. Very raw.

I hate my time table and cca time. I CAN'T GO BACK TO CAT HIGH FOR MENTORSHIP PROGRAMME! I want to do it! But there just isn't a time to slot in the programme. Sigh.

I think I should stop lamenting about how tired I am. I'm sick of being tired already. My friends are hearing it everyday, everywhere I go. But, Brandon! Do you know what tired really means? I know I still can be stretched further but I just need to proclaim I'm tired. Weird.

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, April 10, 2004 | Permalink

Suddenly, teachers simaltaneously seize the golden opportunity of tomorrow's holiday to pour their blessings on us. HOMEWORK! And it really is enough. Enough.

I hate waking up early in the morning. Tested, proven, signed, sealed, and delivered. Yes it's a fact about me now.

Had dinner with Ghost mel and Mugger Yeo and Teckko at J8. Laughed our heads off trying to argue whether Science or Arts is more practical. It was three science people against me one ARTS boi lor. It's like watching a farce rather than a debate, it was so damn funny. Anw!...

The holiday is getting my juices back in flow again. I'm excited, at the amount of extra sleep I'm gonna get, of fun I'm gonna have, of surfing time I'm gonna enjoy. OOOOO ha!

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, April 08, 2004 | Permalink

Monday. The day I hate most. Probably why the end of the day rained down huge relief, and joy accentuated by the cancellation of 3rd period pe due to sports heats. Sapping all my energy away. Going to school has become a chore. I was telling Jian Hao today that although I didn't especially LOVE going to school during Secondary education, there was little or no dread at all. Now when it comes to jc, school really sucks. And so much for a well-rounded, holistic education, when you get more and more jaded by the day and when you get confused yourself with incessant policy changes.

Gen D. Just found out it has become a phenomenon. So I'm not alone. Hehe! :)

TSD theft case. Shocking. The moment I heard it, someone popped into my mind almost immediately. But that person wasn't there that day and I can't make baseless accusations and speculations. So of course that thought just dissolved. I'd feel ashamed if it's someone from tsd.

Use of TSD as excuse for skipping events/lessons I wasn't expecting A52 to do such a thing. But it didn't surprise me. I know exactly how it feels when you just don't feel like doing something, but you are coerced (by what I also dunno) to go for it. And I just hate how some people stereotype the TSD people as if we are criminals, and once the name of tsd rings, the thoughts of delinquents who give classes miss after miss, who flunk their tests, who do nothing but theatre, just emerge from the very depths of shallow minds. (ironic?) That needs some changing, before I start branding certain members of rival faculty bad names. Arts people do have the will and mindpower, mind you. Just that we don't understand how dissecting rats and swinging pendulums can be interesting to an operating human.

That's a subjective view. But I know people do have different passions. Whatever Brandon.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, April 05, 2004 | Permalink

As much as I think vj drama club is a low-standard affair, it seems to be shaping up. Although the actors are not as talented, not as devoted, not as passionate as our ch drama alumni, I'm sure they will rise to the occasion in the end. The good old days can never be re-created. So let's just make do with what we have! Just hope it comes close at least. : )

Ruthie, if you see this, please don't stress yourself k! I'm falling into the same pit as you are, and my soul fatigued too. Just keep thinking there's more beyond what you're experiencing now.

Theatre Slam! Wow, what a day. Watched all the performances and safe to say that my seniors are really talented! It was very satisfying an experience. When people come up to you and say, "Ohemesama, haha!", "You were really good, very nice.", when people actually laugh at your piece in the positive sense, when parents accept our doing theatre, it just feels so comforting. I was a happy, happy man. I realised that I was important and accepted. I can never understand why I keep seeking affirmation. Perhaps that's why I do theatre, hoping for that one applause at the end of the show, could fill up emtional gaps within. I'm listening to A Moment Like This.

The reception was really cool. Hearing Mrs Low tell you you did a great job just made my day. The food was excellent! Had superb time with the tsd people. I enjoyed it when we all laughed together and have so much fun while taking photographs. I didn't mind soiling my clothes with tomato pasta, tearing apart floor tiles, sticking flower stems up your *** (ear, what were you thinking?), singing songs etc. 30 years down the road, I'll be remembering all this fun I'd had.

Ushered for Wanton Me! and managed to watch the show! Wow, wow, wow, Selena Tan's stand-up comedy really works. Got the audience really laughing till they were screaming for her to stop. Really funny! But she really poked fun at flaws in our Singapore social system, yet making sure she just reaches a notch below the limit before the censors snip the show. Sat beside an open gay couple in the theatre, just two to three seats away. And they were touching each other all over, smooching in the darkness, and making lots of awfully sensual noises. Disturbed but the show was still Selena Tan's.

I'll remember on 3rd April I'm a happy man.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, April 04, 2004 | Permalink