Jolly Folly, Mighty Morphin'

Blogging is addictive. K-poism is one deadly quality. I keep visiting blogs to look out for new entries and updates. Blogging is dangerous. Some secrets you never meant for someone to know, leaks to his knowledge. Blogging is a decadent act. It wears off morals.

Anyway, I've got my first role on TV! Very very small one indeed. It was this afternoon when Windson from Young Co. called and linked me to the producer of an up-and-coming tv serial called The Pilot, scheduled for release on Channel 5 in August. The first thing the producer asked, "Hey, we're working on a low budget. So can I just ask how much a pay you are expecting?" I was like wow!, I'll get a pay? I told him I was fine with a small fee, "more for the experience". I have had no prior audition, no tv experience and no camera-friendliness whatsoever, and he had never even seen my facebefore, and he chose me. I'm taken aback, but no surprise for such a small role equivalent to an extra's work. I'm sure they are working on a very near deadline also, coz they are still looking for actors and tomorrow is already the photo shoot.

Rain, rain go away.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, February 29, 2004 | Permalink

I'm suffering from an acute sore throat. Phlegm just keeps coming to my throat. Highly uncomfortable. All coz of 2 to 8 non-stop singing and acting at young co, with only one water break and one toilet break. It was a highly demoralising session today. Our directors cracked their whips and flared up coz virtually none of us memorised our opening number. Much less to say how to sing it. They both turned red at our shockingly retarded progress. I was kinda scared as Wendy's face grew red. It WAS really red.

I had a very memorable rehearsal with Debra. That was when my throat gave way. She was a highly physical director. Initially, she scared the hell out of me, giving that ultimately ferocious and savage look. The directions she gave were highly abstract, but I liked and agreed with some of them. She was very very very different from Wendy, and my acting actually could have metamorphosed into another style after tonight. Not that I did, just what I was taught. It's less stress, less tension in the body, more fluid, more movement, less Singaporean, more modulated etc. I was already comfortable with the WENDY style of directing, but being exposed to her physical directions was both inspiring yet very super duper tiring on the body and the voice.

This morning, I learnt some men's kabuki movement, which was awkward and hard to master. Made Gen's lanterns. Then a message flew by, from my mum, which made my day. She wanted to reward me for my results, and I felt gratified. My parents are definitely the MOST wonderful people on earth although we seldom spend time together. I'm not saying this because of this material reward, but for all the support they've given me when I decided to go into theatre and in everything I did and also the freedom they have blessed upon me with complete trust that I will judge right from wrong. As I sat at the garden tables, I thought of my friends and teachers again. Couldn't have made it without either of them. I'm glad I'm blessed.

Actually I felt lonely today. Speaking is one of my impediments and yet one of my very few assets. I find it hard to spark a conversation with someone I actually want to speak to. I'm always trying to portray a nice nice picture of my life and control my words and ways - now I feel fake. I can't show the real me. I have no confidence about me. This is kinda bullshit, but that's what I felt today. A worthless piece of pigeon shit trampled upon by passers-by.

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, February 28, 2004 | Permalink

It was a walk to remember. A nice nice day. Hak Boon came over to me at 12 something and told me my results. I was like,"yea!", but dared not show my jubilation in front of him. The statistics did not change - 8 A1s and 2A2s, same as prelims. Chemistry remained an A2 sadly, but instead of bio this time, it was English that I got my other A2 from. And darn Melvin, he got 9A1s and 1A2. Damn pro. Congrats ya!

It was a very comforting to know that the worst in my class was an 11. Everyone practically can make it to their choice jc. Shieh, hold on to your faith and don't give up, hope Lord will look after you and you will stay in vj. To Alaric and Shawn, well done! I look forward to seeing you both at vj!

Voodoo got an 8. So he most probably won't get into HC! YEA~! Congrats voodoo! I'm so happy for dominic, joel, samuel, YY, Teckko, who scored straight As. Proud of all 4-4 people who made 4-4 the best class, although we never statistically were. Sounds so cool!

To my vj pals, well done, well done!

Shit lar, tomorrow still must go school! Must wake up at 6....HAIZ...No holiday on Sunday somemore...

Posted by Brandon at Friday, February 27, 2004 | Permalink

The big hoo-ha over the O level results is immense. Everyone's talking abou it. Lessons were pretty much scraped through sketchily today, the teachers were also in the mood. Last year, vj's cut-off was partial 7 after bonus, a point lower than the previous year. So everyone's premonition system switched on almost immediately. "I've got a feeling I've got 12! How! Then I can't stay!" I was actually ok this morning, but after going through all that pep talk from teachers and my classmates' sense of foreboding about disastrous results, I started to become afraid. Things might just happen, and before you know it, you're doomed.

To Alaric and Shawn, hope to see you in VJ! Be it yes or no after tomorrow, I hope all our lives still go on. To all my 4-4 friends, if you see this, I will pray for all of you, so that you will be blessed. My very best wishes to my vj friends too, may the power be with all of you.

For the tenth time or so, I HAD to do a WILLIAM HUNG act in Lit class, a character I've learnt to hate. And please spare me the insult! I feel DAMN off. The feeling wears off after a while you know. And for no reason, Rebekah and I were metaphorically bludgeoned into singing come what may. I don't know what screws have fallen out from A55's brains.

Screwed my solo performance from head to toe. Totally screwed up. Being the music-illiterate gundu that I was, I was out of tune the whole song. Believe it or not. I walked down the stage, defeated and sad, but thanks to all the support A55 people and Jianhao gave, I felt satisfied. Ironic? No.

I feel my life is so empty. Ever since jc started, half my life has been lived within school. I've not gone to a cinema this year! Believe me! I feel utterly hopeless, and how I long for the secondary school system. The breaks are getting to me, as I keep going on binges and long slumbers. I need to slap myself out of reality. I really need time.

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, February 26, 2004 | Permalink

The mike felt wet and wobbled in my slippery hands. "No cordless mike?" Screw it. It all started. The music seagued into many modulations. Screw it. It was really happening. Then, as I ascended the table, I was bout to fall. I felt nauseous and uncomfortable. My voice wanted to give way. I looked into her eyes and we kept singing. At last we made it through, despite the many hiccups. Really hope this gets me into the finals. God pray.

Cho, you did well too! Stay cool and well and cheerful k! Do consider staying with us in 55.
Melissa and company, your dance was slick and sleek!
Nurul, fantastic butt shaking!

I hate school now. The lessons suck. The breaks are sapping my energy away. My first lesson started at 10.35 and that really didn't go down well with me. I was a little depressed coz I couldn't understand what I was learning and I was frustrated at the fact that I was wasting my time sitting at the garden tables, airing my armpits as the big umbrellas swayed to the wind. School really sucks now. It's this education system that forces you to study things at a far accelerated pace. You can't catch up, you get eliminated. I think I've received my call of elimination already.

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, February 25, 2004 | Permalink

O, thanks to JieHui for publicising my blog. SO MUCH thanks! Now, Mr Chew is lurking around! (Hi there, Mr CHEW~!). Dawn's blog is now password protected lar! Dammit! How I know whether Mrs Chua is lingering around?! Mrs Chua, if you're there, leave a tag... And who knows who gave her the address. But fine, life still goes on.

Chicken chop, Opporchy cost, Corerite, Surplers, Makert, What-have-you, (Zhon Yun!) Wash your face!, You're on the right track, Chicken getting angry. In less than two months', Economics, Mrs Chua in particular, has successfully cooked up a storm of trends and lingos. I find it amazing. Such things are more easily digested than o/c and demand and supply curves. And I will shuddup in class just in case she takes another 30 minutes to answer one single question and accuses me for delaying the course. I have burning questions, but I shall ask Kumar and Ruth who share my exact same sentiments.

It's sad to hear Jiali, Carol, Derrick, Jin Mei and Xi Jie decide to leave tsd or vj. But greener pastures always lure the good sheep. I wish them luck in their future endeavours.

I can almost slap myself now. I actually thought of voodoo, wei guo and nicholas when my classmates talked about the O level results release. I'm utterly shocked at that sudden realisation. Voodoo's smug face, the unbreakable bondage between wei guo and nicholas, long lost larry and chee fung, all sprouted in my head. I will catch them all in action very soon. Until then, God Bless.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, February 24, 2004 | Permalink

Sunday was rather unproductive. Woke up at 10, went to Joel's church, we had lunch, cruised to ang mo kio, said goodbye, headed for home, slept from 2 to 6, woke up intermittently a few times but headed back to bed, went out for dinner at hougang's, went to sportslink and met andy and teckko, came back and rushed my tsd hmwk, slept. How boring a Sunday that was. I seriously need to consider injecting more spice in my life. But am I not happy with what I have now? no?

Monday is a dumb dumb day. The joys of a weekend not fully felt. Monday blues~ 3rd period pe is morally degrading and physically taxing. Physical Geog Lecture and Tutorial a perfect substitute for insomnia pills. Mrs Chua's Econs lessons either bore you to sleep or scare the jitters out of you that you stay awake, and you need to have a certain level of physical endurance to tide through her double periods.

You know what spice means to me? Days with adrenaline-pumping events that give you a goal in life.
WEDNESDAY Duet Audition (Mr Chew coming!)
THURSDAY Solo Audition (Mr Chew coming!)
FRIDAY The day of reckoning
See? You know what excitement means to me? I don't need a roller coaster to tell me that.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, February 23, 2004 | Permalink

So, two bimbotic bimbos won the nj talentime. Sluts. I find females always have this edge of expression over males, although I wasn't there to witness anything. They can shout all they want and do the diva thing and display blasting renditions, but we males have this voice quality(different from girls of course) that fetters our expression that compromises or seems to compromise on our singing. That was the impression I got when YY sent me the latest report on the results. To Joel and Teckko, if you see this, try harder next year! Raise yourself up to be your own star. I recollect the CHMA days, and I chuckle.

Clean-up of tsd room The new arrangement looks creatively fetching, but immediately impractical. I was silently thinking why they put the sofa area at the teachers' office door. As we sit at the sofa and chat, the teachers confirm will tick us off. I can almost imagine a drop-dead quiet tsd room in the future.

Front-of-House for ODD COUPLE After a boring session of Young Co., with the scores for the opening number thrown to us consisting a majority of perfect side-readers, I did duties for the odd couple. Enriching. But somewhat reminded me of the student council days in the past. Shifting programme booklets, distributing them, ushering the audience to their seats, tearing tickets, very labour-intensive. Ha~. I watched the show once again, and the magic is that they can always milk the same moments of comedic effect like they have never been done before. Marvellous. It's tiring having so many weeks of runs and not losing the snap-snap moments onstage. I kinda offended the director of the show. Christian W. Huber. I was curious and free at the intermission, so when I saw someone making his way to the lights box, I asked him whether I could take a look inside.
"Ermmm, hallo, are you the lightings person? MAybe I can just look around?"
"I'm the director."
"O."
"Yar, that's right." (as he walks closer to the box)
"O Chris...Christian Huber?"
"Yepz." (and he disappeared into the darkness.)
It was a moment of great maluness. But I was glad I met the director of a great piece. But I tore some tickets that cost 73 dollars, which shocked the hell out of me. $73 dollars! That's a disgusting price to pay for such a show. Not to say it's not nice, just not worth the dough.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, February 22, 2004 | Permalink

Hooray! "Unwell" (our tsd group) got a C-- or a B++. That's like the best, no?! Congrats! Nice time working with all of you! And I will try my best to stop singing in the light box. Or dance in it. Or crap through the night with Anisah.

Rehearsal for musicfest with movements incorporated. It was a great rehearsal, Rebekah! Jia you! Then chinese drama, which was kind of OFF for me, and which I'd rather not go. But Ruth and I were like laughing our heads off, for NO apparent reason. We were trying a Mandarin duologue at the garden tables, then another pair was practising beside us. The STRONG STARK SILLY contrast between our standards showed itself. We decided to back out. We had faces to keep and images to upkeep. Not that we had any. I'm seriously finding it hard to settle down in a good cca.

Ruth told me a behind-the-curtains story about one of our very good friends out of school. It was mentally disturbing for me as I got to learn some things I never knew about him. I reflected a full hour about myself, about how fortunate I was with no worries about my necessities and finances. I am living too sheltered a life. Dump me laundry and filthy shoes and ask me to wash them. Nothing productive will come out of it, unless you consider a broken washing machine or tattered shoes to be productive. I envision a hard time in the army. I'm seriously a dumb slacker. Kill me someone.

Posted by Brandon at Friday, February 20, 2004 | Permalink

I was the worst passer of my 2.4km jog. 11.10 secs. Abysmal in my pe class. Flopped chin-ups. Scraped through standing broad jump. Haiz! When will I ever remotely pull myself up?

Absolutely distressed during PC lesson today. I mean I seriously thought what I really thought. A trout moving down the human gut, hitting the stomach, manoeuvring along the intestines and egested out of the body. Seriously. But I thought the class took it as a joke. I was slightly offended at first, but I knew I was a little too out-of-the-world yet still sane. I dunno why I'm just so extra and have to come up with such an illogical and totally absurd interpretation. I just was me. Ms Low was kind of pissed at my lack of formality and seriousness in class, always fooling around, so I was kind of affected. But I thought I contrued it the way I WOULD in an EXAM~! That fleeting moment, I thought of quitting Literature. Coz I never get poems right. Like in Cat High, I always fail to intepret poems right. And I'm always damn off, like I'm in some world of my own. I'm just insane. Serious.

Young Co. LIFTED me SPIRITS! Arh, excellent director! You cannot say anymore about her! It's a shame CAT HIGH ditched her! A pity and a sluttish screwup! HAK BOON actuallysent her a letter saying, "Thank you for all the contributions you have made to the drama group. Howver due to your (incompetence or wadeva)...." She tore the letter into bits and threw them away. WELL DONE!

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, February 19, 2004 | Permalink

Hehe~ Odd Couple was really funny! I'm serious. Adrian Pang is a great great comedian, and Ramesh Panicker was ok, considering the rather obvious blunders he had made in his lines, not to mention those he concealed well. The set was utterly elaborate. Everytime I watch a play I get so inspired. Was observing Adrian Pang. Wendy ask me to learn the British accent, him being a fine master of it. It's hard, really hard to get out of that stinky Singaporean accent. I don't even sound like I could get out of it. Serious.

I was saboed today in Econs again.
"Zhon Yun, GO WASH YOUR FACE... So nowadays, you people like to blog..."
"(softly)Brrr....Brrand...Brandon"
"So anyone of you write blogs?"
"Brandon!" (followed by hysterical laughter)
"O so when I have time I will visit your blog. No problem. Alright." (as she nudges her glasses higher on her nose bridge.)
I gave that stoned to death look. O alright, if she sees this blog, she's gonna kill me even though I've always been on the right track. Mrs Chua!~

Tried drama club today. Absolutely horrendous! Serious. CAT HIGH drama is FAR better. The people lack an element called dynamics. They waste a lot of time, not to mention taking a full hour to warm up our bodies and voices when tsd or cat high drama ppl will normally take less than 10 minutes. The teacher present was indifferent to the inefficiency manifested. Luckily KP was with me, if not I would have collapsed out of sheer boredom and lameness. I'm serious. They read their syf script during the session, and I was more flabbergasted by the lack of substance and material in the piece written by some Drama Club writer. It was utterly cliched. About some girl who meets with troubles in life and is considering suicide as she recollects her life. Wow how interesting. But seriously I don't blame them coz they had never taken part in syf, have teachers as directors, and ask KP "what is syf?". As they tried to split us up into groups for discussion, I readily excused myself and never returned and headed for home. It's the last time I'm returning to vj drama club. The only saving grace is that the president is rather friendly. That's all.

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, February 18, 2004 | Permalink

First thing in the morning. I stepped into school.
"What happen to you?"
"*gasps*Why like that?"

SC speeches were absolutely hilarious. Kumar, Khairul and Audrey were rather misplaced in the highly intricate politics of councillors. I could see they had really put in effort to garner votes. Good luck to all!

The happiest moment of the day was when the pe teacher told us pe was cancelled. Everyone jumped up as if they hit lottery. So did I. Haha...

Rebekah and I thought we were ready for the auditions after our brief rehearsal last Friday. Never did we find out we had so many flaws in our singing when we were shot caustic remarks from the experts. Manager Crystal, Songstress Khairul, Paula Anisah, Randy Cho. I sort of agree with them, coz my voice as pointed out by them is VERY unprofessional and un-choir-ly, a total misfit with Rebekah's choir pitch-perfect rendition. Putting an apple and a watermelon together didn't exactly churn out the best fruit punch. I tried to tone down the pop factor in my singing and she tried to up her pop factor. They said the problem lied with me. Tried a billion ways to allow my voice to "come out from my head". It kinda didn't work. So we decided to do what we had decided to do. To have a nice mix of watermelon apple juice. Hope the judges like this concoction.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, February 16, 2004 | Permalink

Tonight, watching Moulin Rouge made me feel so proud. I felt like Channel 5 was screening my movie. My story about love. My ideals and passions. I'd love to make a movie about love. "Love lifts us up where we belong". The songs are wonderful, absolutely electrifying. There is no unwilling compliance with watching the movie again and again. At the end of the show, I felt my life was shown on tv. I felt satisfied.

I shan't go on about the shit about Moulin Rouge before people call me a weirdo and a love-sick freako.

But think about it. Love is like oxygen.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, February 15, 2004 | Permalink

Overslept in the bus. A year two had to wake me up from the deep deep deep slumber.

Cross Country was actually fun. Leon, Jonathan, Cho and I were running among the last few peopl. We weren't there to get first or what lar, just to make the best out of the worst. We were joking the whole race. And it was just a very slow jog which I enjoyed, especially along the coast of East Coast. Cho's got a weak stamina, so we had to keep pushing him every 50 metres and make "small goals" for him (dictated by Leon), like "the dustbin at the front", "the phone booth just a few metres away", "the overhead bridge coming ahead" so that he could make it to the end. He was breathing so hard I could hear it out loud. Along the way, we plucked flowers for the girls, but in the end Cho and I wanted to sprint the last 100 metres, so we just threw the flowers at the girls as they screamed at our emergence at the gate. We were already the last few liao, haha, dunno what the heck people are cheering about. My position was 614. Cho's was 615. Guess who won the sprint?

But fatigue slowly gave way to depression. Cho was so black faced, I felt bad also. I was already so darn drained and I still had to go for slots, and stay quietly in the lights booth waiting forever for the seniors to start. Cho's depression made me see that there is always a dark side to things. Cho's always the bubbly chirpy joker in class but he can also get upset at times. Exactly what I am too. Morose a minute, upbeat the next. That made me feel very bad about myself and life. Met an old old friend at J8 and went home.

I was so tired I decided to skip young co. I decided I needed some quality time for myself. So I came home and did the things I liked. Shutting the doors and switching on the hi-fi to full blast. Singing slow songs. Dancing to the faster beats. Surfing the net. Napping. I felt fulfilled and self-satisifed from 2 to 6, where I did what I actually had yearned to do for so long. I know you think I'm crazy. But the situation is that bad. I managed to sing off and dance off my troubles.

YY and Shawn wanted to ask me out, but J8 not showing cold mountain ruined our plans. I decided to stay home and wait for tonight's telecast of mtv asia awards. Heard that william hung might be coming. I'm kinda sick of the publicity he's getting, and what's the rationale behind showing his flop audition again on channel 5? Some things turn stale after a while and this is one of them.

To all out there, a HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY and to my frenz out there, HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, February 14, 2004 | Permalink

The semblance of love hung loosely in VJ. Everyone was exchanging sweets, chocs, roses and friendly hugs. Me was unprepared, haha, from deprivations and shock. Never had such a thing happened in Cat High no? Valentine's eve. A sweet sweet day. I ended up exchanging candies here and there. Really sua-gu. People were singing songs in the canteen, surrounding heart-shaped cakes, playing the piano, exalting love, holding on to bags of fresh flowers waiting to be presented. CCA groups were making their last attempts to sell off their roses and packaged gifts. There was a mad rush as people realised that it was supposed to be a day of giving. I actually felt rather interested. People whom I don't know very much were passing me small gifts of their own. Made me feel rather pampered.

I'm dumb as a pig. I can't imagine how stupid I am to take "stoned to death" as what it colloquially meant. And I took a full 10 seconds to understand the joke behing a solar-powered torchlight. Retardation unlimited. I guess superficiality is beginning to show. Sorry folks.

Tomorow is Cross Country which is TOTALLY sucky! House systems NEVERwork. Well, at least in my 10 brief years of education, I can affirm that point. It's always this lack of cementation between people. The spirit's always low, about people getting together to get it over and done with. Thought of a thousand and one ways to skip it, but none seem to work. I've heard stories about the horrid consequences of skipping cross-country. Damn! TSD people walking in one row right? Wait for me.

I was watching this cinderella movie at 8 on tv, it was a very nice musical, wanted to keep watching it, when my tiredness took the better of me. I had to sleep. I find myself SO madly deprived of positive energy. My body is giving way. Survivor a must-watch! Can't sleep earlier! Tomorrow must wake up super earliy. Can't miss!

Posted by Brandon at Friday, February 13, 2004 | Permalink

Went to Parliament House for learning journey. Talked about governance and passing of laws and meet-the-people sessions. (remember the first time I sat in at a meet-the-people session in a slightly undersized and overcrowed room with Mr Chan Soo Sen. Unforgettable complaints...and farts from the dear teacher) Had this role playing thingy called the moot parliament. Super lame, but laughed my hairs up. Kumar the speaker was superlatively funny. Wah, I was giggling the whole session, I could feel my belly lipids very suan. Enjoyed myself.

I went orchard to walk alone. I dropped at Orchard and walked to borders and then wandered my evening away along the streets. Time for myself, I call it. Sometimes I think I'm a loner, a bitchy self-destructor with no knowledge of things around me. I actually wanted to call people to go out, but I render any attempt as futile. Who would come out amid our increasingly hectic schedule to just walk aimlessly along a road? And talk? I saw the Singapore River today at Clarke Quay. I actually thought of jumping in. The gold flakes on the water surface very tantalising. The boats seem to be enjoying themselves in the river. That moment, I wanted to disappear.

04A55 has the crankiest and most dramatic people I've ever met. These people sing wherever they go, be it ntuc theme song, mcdonalds i'm lovin' it song, you raise me up, somewhere out there, when you believe, people, croak song, the song that never ends, harlo, harlo, harlo!, whatever... We've been scolded a few times for singing out loud, be it in school or in salons, but we simply don't care. Haha...

I miss my primary school friends. Not seen them for so long. And I will continue to anticipate eagerly for this Sunday's blockbuster. A story about love.

Quote of the day: "Be it taste, preference, income change, what have you..." (Mrs Chua, please stop. Actually, what have you!?)

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, February 11, 2004 | Permalink

Push! Bom! Piang! I'm back! Group slots are getting more and more exciting! Lights are a wonderful thing. They make you think why the play is liddat. Better not go on...

Arh!!! With rumours rife about the release of 'O' Level Results very soon, Ho Teck Hon is quite doubtful yet thankful. It's hard to anticipate what can happen to my life. I can't tell too. And thankful because ermmm, can meet my Cat High frenz again. It will be a day of joy and extreme exhilaration. I know it will be. I can imagine Samuel and Melvin embracing each other in sheer excitement at the bright prospects ahead of them. Rocky and Lip Yong getting interviewed. Wei Ping strutting his cert. Alaric and Shawn eager to get their results. The 4-4 people making noise and cheers. Thousands of questions asking, "How much?" I shall wait.

Ha! Found my duet partner! But application forms nowhere to be found up till now.

Spent my afternoon having lunch/dinner/snack at WHATAFISH at marine parade, with a few of the funnies(or funnier) people on earth, Zhon Yun, Jonathan, Jie Hui, Crystal and Rebekah. They crack me up like hell! Especially Mr Cho! Wah Lau! Damn Pro arh! Serious?!, head turning effects, impersonations, lame games, Rita and Lord Zedd stories, Ultraman's stupidity, what have you... But we spent the time making our presence known, singing songs, making music and creating a lovely sound called noise. Went to salon to watch Jonathan and Zhong Yun get their hair makeovers. Zhon Yun turned into Little Miss Mature and Jonathan the punkier joker. Never knew ladies look in the mirror more than 10 times after cutting their hair(s).

QUOTE of the DAY: "You're on the right track." (Mrs Chua, please look for new phrases while still trying to support your nose with your index finger.)

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, February 10, 2004 | Permalink

The sudden bout of relentless mugging. The jitters of the 'O's. The buzz of the anticipated end. The celebration. The metamorphosis into everyday party. The Graduation. The parting. The booboo of JC and the missing of the past years. The spark of 2 February. The entry into another phase. The nightmare of Orientation. The aftermath of an emotional turmoil. The realisation that a friend in need is a friend indeed. The religion pandemonium. The confused state of mind. The wonders of TSD. The sheer joy at realising a dream come true - Young Co. The love of my parents. The meeting of wonderful new peers. The shyness of a new sunrise. The smiles that ensue. The boiling need to rest and nap. The fatigue. The gatherings. The services. The computers. The productions and the showcase. The love and hate. The perpetual wait for the 'O' Level results.

I'm here. Still alive.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, February 08, 2004 | Permalink

Anisah is SO darn naive! Oops hope she doesn't see this. Not naive lar, just easier to trick.

I was feeling naughty and asked her if she wanted to listen to some song tracks I'd written and recorded. She said yes. So I took out my Stefanie Sun cd and put it into my discman. I showed her the picture of yanzi on the cd and told her it was my friend called Mary, whom I 'colaborated with'. She believed me. Haha~ I said I was playing the piano in the background and providing background vocals. She was very impressed with the music and voice of "This Moment". She was gasping all along in disbelief. Then when the climax of the song came, she knew she had been tricked. Haha and we laughed till our abs poped out. ANW~...

Today's slot is just the same as yesterday, I was almost dozing off in the lights box, but my marshmallows kept me awake. But that darn follow spot girl, keep singing too lost in you by sugababes that I'm now addicted to the song. Rythm's nice nice nice.

I'm awfully beat. Felt the itch of buying a cd, so I koped the michale buble cd. Once I started listening I quickly regretted. Should have bought love actually.


HOW COULD I HAVE forgotten yesterday's gathering! The KFC chicken was really good. And everyone seems so satisfied with their times at their colleges and daily routines. I'm glad. Chatting outside AMK library, watching cats seducing each other, maids making calls at the public phone, snapping pics of handphones, calling suah and saras, talking about girls and girlfriends, all was the usual 4-4ism that never changes.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, February 08, 2004 | Permalink

People gathering tomorrow, sorry arh, can't make it. I'm really sorry. Next time k! On a Sunday k! I'm really sorry.

:) I think I'm CCA-hopping currently. I'm everywhere. Really looking for something I need and want and won't regret joining.

:) Next week must stay everyday for slots till late. Love the slots. But dunno if my body can stand it. Late nights ain't my thing in jc. You need loads of sleep to stay awake at lectures.

:) Tutoring Sec 4s. It's hard. I don't know my work THAT well. And the Council is asking for people to tutor the fellow Sec 4s now, as part of CIP. Chinese is not on the list of "teachable subjects". Lit also. Geog also. What else can I do?!

:) I suddenly find that time is damn precious. I'm losing every second so wastefully. Destroying myself.

:) Music Fest applications are out!

Posted by Brandon at Friday, February 06, 2004 | Permalink

CONGRATS to both JOEL and TECK KUAN for making it to the finals! Makes me feel so proud. Will be at NJ to see you two shine in the finals! The fact that they are the only J1s who have gotten in wowed me. Great job! And do Cat High proud!

I had my showcase session with Wendy tonight. A lot of problems to work on! My major problem is my accent. She says I'm VERY Singaporean! My accent...very Singaporean. Sigh sigh sigh, and after dunno how long, as light turned to darkness, the Singaporean accent was still there. Can't help it, when you hang out with ermmm, Singaporeans.

School is REALLY sinking in. The work IS coming in. It's bitchy but it's weighing down on me. And I don't know what the problem is with my class. They laugh all the freaking time. They never get tired of that. And they suggest I do a stand-up comedy coz I don't need words to make people laugh. How stupidly illogical! And I call them busok, they laugh. Call them comewhatchain, they laugh. (these are malay terms, meanings better not known than otherwise)

I'm a happy man today!

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, February 05, 2004 | Permalink

ARH. Tina's ousted! Darn! Was rooting for her! It seems whoever I place my bets on (e.g. Lenny and Karyn, Tramel and Talicia, Carmen Rasmusen, Tina, Lillian) often end up disappointing me. I never seem to be able to predict well enough. My sense of the future sucks! And so does my memory! Left my blacks for workshop in school, not knowing where I left them. Searched the whole damn school and the possible places where I could have "deposited" (coz I never took it out) the blacks. Abortive efforts! Eventually it managed to catch the eye of Ruth and she was like shrieking to me, "Look Brandon! Your blacks! Yea! The blacks in the lime green Ice Lemon Tea plastic bag!" I was feeling very dejected at losing the blacks. (I really dunno why I'm feeling down over two sets of cheap, pathetic and lowdown apparel) So the moment of reunion with my dear blacks yielded great satisfaction.

Debates BORED the hell out of me! Shan't say anything more. May bore the hell out of you.

Went back to CAT HIGH! Alone. The time just felt right. Wanted to see my fellow juniors you see. Miss them thoroughly. Dunno how they are coping in frigid waters under the icy vice-tight grip of Hak Boon. Struggling. You bet. But, the school has become so bare and isolated that I almost felt detached. Beyond recognition. Ms Hua and Mr Ng trudging their way down the stairs. Mrs Tan (aka A Po) listlessly tramping down the corridor. Except for myself, I practically saw no one else. The Council Room was empty. The Study Room was empty. Called some of my juniors. NONE picked up the phone. I felt so aloof in the dead silence. Almost felt scared. Then I decided to leave the compounds, and headed home.

Cat High Drama BOIS! If you wanna visit the drama group this saturday, please join me! I'm going back to school to see them. New director coming this Sat! It's from 9 to 11.30 at hall!

5 more minutes to AMERICAN IDOL. Feel just so rejuvenated hearing it. Today, we forget the Hungs and Fook Lins and Scat Girls and Daniel Lees. This is where the competition starts to heatup! Serious talent in this serious multi-million race!

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, February 04, 2004 | Permalink

Behind

Claps in most highest anticipation.
Glistening circles and widening grins,
Bated breaths and surprise stories.
The figures move back and forth.

Waters spilt from openings,
Authentic admirations aired,
Lights off, sounds on,
Let's get on with the show.

Sneaking in the shadows,
Showing a life's turns.
Human perspiration trickled
Down the sticks and cloths untrifled.

Claps in most highest anticipation and summation.
Superlative adulation in masked fabrication,
Tells of a chronicle of sheer loneliness.
The butts trod off and the seats are kept.

The dolls and toys rest on a yellow platform,
Supine on a yellow platform.
Squashed and tucked,
Beneath layers of truth.

Unmoving limbs, unbeating hearts, unloving moves,
Detached love, devalued liberty, deluded souls.
Shouting and hollering to seek,
Only to wait a lifetime before you're picked up.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, February 03, 2004 | Permalink

I'm addicted to coke. Had two 1.5 litres bottles to myself throughout the whole course of today. I like the very fetching temptation of a sweating cup of coke, sizzling in anticipation. But I can't wait till all the gas has gone. I must savour every drop pumped with shots of tickling gas. Then I'm done. Very satisfied! Help me!

Posted by Brandon at Monday, February 02, 2004 | Permalink

Afternoon came. A lazy lazy afternoon. Was in a comfortable slumber as I was transported to the Esplanade. Met my grandma together with my aunts there. I love my grandma! She's just so kind and gentle. Her fingers are really gnarled, her "fret channels" and wrinkles are awfully deep, but she's my idol. She nags a lot, she grumbles the soul out of me, she scrimps on life's necessities, she likes to gather newspapers and cardboards as a living, she speaks what she doesn't feel, but she I still love her. I guess absence makes the heart fonder. Goosepimples popping? Nah, you don't understand.

Made my new specs! It's nothing phenomenal or exceptional, but I thought it was time for a new pair. My aunt made one pair for long-sightedness, my brother found out today he was long-sighted and had a little bit of astigmatism, so he made one pair, my grandma's specs gave way when we were having lunch and I made one pair out of a want. 4 pairs! And the price, I thought was a little steep, but I guess it's ok to pamper oneself ocassionally?

The combined efforts of Alex, Jian Hao and I to host an online Amazing Race was finally realised tonight after months of postponement. It was fairly exciting with a new bunch of players, consisting mainly of newbies. Besides watching Amazing Race, playing Online Amazing Race and hanging upside down on a roller coaster, hosting this thing was the most exciting thing I'd done.(I construe excitement in a different way I guess) Although previous seasons I've hosted before were more adrenaline-pumping because there was only one host, this season was really interesting for me. Congrats to Eugene for clinching top honours! Kudos to the Amazing Race. Long live the Amazing Race! (Never mind if they are taking forever to cast players for Amazing Race 5. And O yes! Watch out for Survivor tomorrow~)

Cya everyone, I'm a happy man today!

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, February 01, 2004 | Permalink