Jolly Folly, Mighty Morphin'

Went to church today. It was a very foreign place to be in. A rather huge, rambling church. I should save all the details about sing-alongs and prayers. Basically, I was really shaken, disturbed and affected. There was this point in time, when I was closing my eyes and listening to other worshippers hum to the tune of a song. That was an odd moment, never felt before. An invisible, intangible force shut my eyes tight. I never wanted to open them. My stomach contracted a little. I was feeling a little touched amid the mental turmoil. Two voices were hollering at me. "Come!" was one. "Come!" was the other. I felt tugged from both sides. By the time my eyelids rose to the awakening, my heart was thumping faster already and I started to feel breathless. A heavy thud resonated beneath my skin. Wow, so much for two minutes of physical inertia.

But I felt the presence of God.

I received my monologue today! For the March showcase! It's about this little boy who is going to church and discovers the love of God. Ironic? I didn't choose it, so don't ask me why it came to me. Very weird. Excited! Yea!

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, January 31, 2004 | Permalink

AMERICAN IDOL FEVER HITS TOWN! Boom, boom, bang! Everyone's watching American Idol, everyone knows about American Idol. I remember in the greatest season, season 1 where Kelly took home the title of American Idol, almost no one knew about the show. Now, it seems this craze will never cease. Watching the top pops and the flop dogs serenading the infamous (ok lar, quite famous) judges with their renditions, was truly entertaining. I kind of miss AI. There's no AI on FRIDAY! Ah yar, feel so empty, not being able to watch Fook Lin (dunno how to spell) sing the jitters out of me or maybe William Huang display his embarassingly hilarious performance...

And today, we held a farewell party for Sharon. So sad, leaving us for the riches of Hong Kong. We gave her a fluffy hippo and ate chips and played truth or dare. Very fun. Secrets unveiled and courage put to the test. I carried Michelle (while waiting for Dawn to take forever to snap a photo), Sharon planted two kisses on Cho's cheeks (washed, cleaned, cleansed, wiped cheeks), Khairul did an MGS catwalk, Rebekah did some seduction on a stranger. And so much more.

And guess what, I mimicked "She Bangs", sung by you-know-who. Ah yar, I was just feeling bored. And duh. I did it three times ok! They kept asking me to perform... But I found it quite stupid hehe....And the third time, I kinda revealed some parts of my red underwear, you know what... and the girls were like, "O MI GOD! O MI GOD!" Ah yar, the secret cannot keep itself in its bag one lar, they will find out sooner or later. I actually didn't want to wear it, but the bad weather made it hard for my other ones to dry, so I had no choice. Never knew the first day I wore it to school, it showed itself. Damn! (Better not go into other details...)

And hey, went to my first chinese drama meeting. Ruth and I were supposed to be there at 3.30 but due to many unforseen and rather saddening circumstances, we could only make it there at 5 something. We received fairly warm welcomes, coz we were locals! Yea! .... They can't believe we are tsd people coz never in the history of chinese drama had someone from tsd joined chinese drama??? And there are only, including me and ruth, three Singapore-bred students?? It was weird. The air of cheenaism, that had been missing the day since I stepped into vj, returned for a brief moment.

Posted by Brandon at Friday, January 30, 2004 | Permalink

I hate Thursdays! 5 Lit periods wantonly cramped into one day. And it's a long long day until 5 with only a total of 3 periods of breaks. Today was a terrible day (although I said it was a great morning to A55ians coz it was raining...). In Simon Cowell style, "AB-BO-LUTE-LY HO-RENDOUS!" And understood nothing about Lit today. Don't know why, switched off after 3. Engine dead.

So darn funny! I've never laughed as hard as I have since last year! Anisah, Helen, Khairul, Crystal, Erica and I were making fun of the Chaucer language. They called me "wood", meaning mad and we addressed emaciated Anisah as "bene-straw" which means bean straw. Petome es bely-naked abedde. Understand? It's Petome, my new Malay name (dunno why they call me this...), is naked on bed. Gross, but it's damn funny just trying to piece words here and there. The librarian came and warned us to keep our volumes low. But my stomach was already aching from all that lolz~

Junior College education is very expensive. Every 2 or 3 days, you need to hand in cash in the $30s to $40s, for TYS, plays, texts etc. That excludes money for material / notes that teachers photocopy for students. It seems every sheet of paper we receive we must pay! I feel embarassed asking my father for money again and again. They work so hard. Sometimes, I really admire them. Formidable spirit!

Fell into depression again. For a few hours, after school. It's the usual o-i'm-so-tired dip in energy that slaps you hard in the face. It's the kind of depression and fatigue that hours of naps do no help. It's the need for a refreshing boost of novelty. Now, I'm ok, using the internet always illuminates the way. Haha...Don't find me mad. Haha.

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, January 29, 2004 | Permalink

ARHHHH, I totally screwed up my debates trail! TOTALLY SCREWED! "This house supports streaming" There went the simple motion. The stakes? A place in the first national competition. The rules? Prepare a speech for 5 minutes by taking a stand and formulating points, presenting later in 3 minutes. Easy as it may sound, but among the hot favourites of Robin, Aloy, Alex, 2 girls who STUDIED for the trails, ex-school representatives in debates, fluent-like-shit English speakers and accent-strong pretenders, it was a far too unnerving experience for me. I spoke no sense and told no story. Seriously considering switching cca. Debate's really ain't my cup of tea. I hope my fears are shortlived. Currently on the switch list are Chinese Drama, Writers' Circle and Dance Club. Advice anyone?

To think I'm settling better in GP Soc...

I've never liked reading, any form of book, the Lit texts especially. In the past the only books that could arouse my interest to a sustainable extent was mystery series like the Hardy Boys (I still wasn't that intellectual to read M. Butterfly or Othello). Very exciting mar. But I found out actually theatre books could capture my attention as well. I sat at the library reading theatre books like they never ended. I kept reading and reading, unlike the Brandon who keeps fidgeting when flipping through The King of the Castle or Decline and Fall. Really amazing.

Was on the dreaded bus ride on the way home. Listened to Through the Rain. It was raining, not very hard though. Some Cat High people were boarding the bus. A yar, Cat High is really awash with lotsa memories lor. The song especially provoked huge bouts of love and melancholy. The journey has ended. I reached home, and made it through the rain.

To all people joining Talentime in NJ, GOOD LUCK! Really good luck for your auditions on Valentine's! Reach for your star coz you may be the next!

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, January 28, 2004 | Permalink

Woke up first thing in the morning. Brushed my teeth. Washed my face. Took a shower. Changed into uniform. Went downstairs for ham and bread breakfast. O this happens everyday! Wow, I've made no special effort to sensitize myself to this routine and I always do this in this particular order. Amazing. Then I decided to switch on the tv. I was really quite surprised why I switched it on because I seldom (or never) watch the tv in the early hours of the day, not to mention at 6am when I'm groggy and half-awake. I made a mental note to write this down on my blog. Because I believe things happen for a reason, and my switching on the tv was for some reason (which I don't know) since it was never part of my so-called routine. And there's a reason why I've been brought here to write about this. Weird, yar?

I LEFT MY JACKET IN THE STUDIO!!!! Darn the hell! If I lose it I'll kill myself. My precious jacket...Just one day after I blogged about my jacket, it just went out of my hands. If Lofty decides to cut it up and shred it to pieces for a play or use it to wipe his car, I'll REALLY kill myself. Serious.

I felt kind of dumb at 5.28pm when I was searching high and low for the GP Soc people for meeting. Apparently there was NO meeting today, but my memory told me there was one at 5pm today, so I RUSHED, REALLY RUSHED from TSD workshop to search for the people. I didn't even change out of my blacks! Then decided to give up. Called Ms Low and she said I was "dumb" and gave me work to do instead. Haiz, how dumb.

I've been "discriminated" because I've got a high pitch voice, even when I speak normally! They say if I make a call to a stranger he would be doubtful of my gender. O, haha. Haha.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, January 27, 2004 | Permalink

I'm surprised. Mr Ho (maths teacher) was like walking past me and suddenly proclaimed, "We miss you!" This Mr Ho is weird. The first thing he did when he came into class was talk about impertinent things like marriage and whatnot. I felt he was trying a little too hard to impress the Arts people. "This is the first time I taking ARTs Class for the many years I'm here. So it's a two-way learning experience. As much as I look boring, I can be very interesting." But he wasn't exactly the most interesting teacher I've ever seen... And to think Dawn says I look like him...Gives me the jitters.

Sat for a mock SAT today. Damn difficult arh. Gonna fail my Vocab part. If you get a question wrong arh, you get marks deducted. So bitchy! And yes, revisiting that feeling of comprehension from the rawness of not doing one for months was scary. Comprehending the passage was speed-reduced. Flopped my GP essay. Shivers.

I only knew today that people's perception of Cat High boys is that their Chinese is super power one. That made me flinch a little. But I don't know, hanging out with the Malays fitted a perculiar but coincidentally comfortable Malay accent on me. I liked it. Malay accents give a very distinct emphasis on certain words that help convey better the intended meaning? I don't know, but nevertheless liked it.

Wah, like the rain. These days pouring like siao. (O suddenly, dunno why this phrase pops up "raining cats and dogs", sorry, this is totally irrelevent...) And the temperature is totally right, when I'm under the cloth of my jacket. Feel ultra comfy. Like in a sleeping bag. Plus a pillow. Plus a bolster. ~shuddup! Brandon!(O suddenly dunno why this phrase pops up "just shuddup, shuddup ...", sorry, this is totally irrelevent...) O and yes, this jacket is basically now very close to me. It's all the time attached to me. I wore it for the Oraltorical Competiton, the Audition, Prelims, O levels, French Exams and it has always brought me a great deal of luck. Very nice. Remember the first time I bought it, it was for the Xiamen trip. Lovely memories there. O Shuddup!

Posted by Brandon at Monday, January 26, 2004 | Permalink

Went for the first time to the Esplanade Library (with YY, Shawn, Sammy, Jh). It was kind of small and all there was were theatre and film books. Very comfortable place. Borrowed a few very useful books but doubt I would have the time to read. Wanted to just sit in the library and read, but the bitchy friends I were with dragged me off to play pool at AMK.

People from NJ are seriously hyped up for their Talentime, with song choices cast already. The hot shots like Joel and Bertinus and newbies Samuel and Melvin are actually gonna fight it out on the same stage! So exciting! Me also wanna join MusicFest, the highly anticipated singing/performing competition. (ok lar, just another way to say Talentime lar) I've got a whole lack of lung power and star power. Gonna flop like in CHMA. I REALLY need to learn how to sing --- well.

Arh, there's this imposter thigny lingering at blogs nowadays. I thought I was just playing a little trick on Samuel the other day by tagging on his board with his own RiVeR username, but it seems like EVERYONE has turned into an imposter now...And some imposter is here at my blog too...

Today is ultra sian. ULTRA sian. I find the return to school tomorrow very foriegn and raw to me. Ah yor, I'd rather stay at home. Really I do. Haiz yo run out of ideas to blog liao...inspiration limited.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, January 25, 2004 | Permalink

Today was really fun....Seeing the Young Co. people and EL buds again made me wriggle in excitement.

Got this feeling the Young Co. will kick me out. Ha, really! SERIOUS! One of Wendy's friend was like asking, "So all of them will be in the company, izzit?"
Haha...Wendy was like, "See lar, after 8 weeks lor! Elizabeth, hopeful. Sara, Hopeful. Brandon, maybe."
I kinda froze. What's that supposed to mean?

And guess what, my acute sense of hearing helped me pick up some bits and pieces of some talk about me, serious talk I mean. I could hear my name repeated some times, but I don't know what was talked about at all. But it didn't sound good, it was in a low, muffled, dont-want-to-let-people-within-one-metre-to-hear kind of volume.

Basically made meat on bread again (for the third time yar?), which found their way into satisfied stomachs. Sara was like "O my god! This is fucking good! I'm bloody American and I've never in my whole damn life tasted this before!" I was like, "Woah, is it that good?"

People in Young Co. (and VJ) speak more English than Mandarin. So, I found it quite hard to communicate with the people who spoke English so fluently and with such thick accents I wonder where they picked them up. And I managed to find someone who spoke Chinese and was the bitchy CHEENA kind of girl. And we hit if off rather well. Guess I'll be looking for her the next few meetings. She's really fun to talk to!

EL people were pretty much the same. But as expected the numbers dwindled. There was this tinge of sadness coz I doubted we'd ever return to Wendy's house in one complete bunch ever again. Roads diverge and people always have agendas of their own. Whether we meet again will have to depend on fate. But until then, I guess we're still the same old us as we used to be. Let this moment last forever. And good luck to Wendy if she ever finds her day of reckoning.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, January 25, 2004 | Permalink

I feel like a jerk! Really I do. I realised I've inflicted a lot of pain on others. Sometimes, you say nothing at all, but you have hurt someone. You feel totally emasculated and have no apparent control of the situation - or yourself. Then, sometimes, you lever open your mouth and blurt and squabble, then someone is not exactly satisfied with you for saying what you have said. It's freaking hard to please everyone, but excuse me, I ask myself, who am I trying to please? Myself? I'm blur sometimes.

After having visited my relatives today for lunch and returned home, I just sat down in front of the tv set and watched tv. Hour by hour. Movie after movie. Then at 9, the sedentariness was getting to my head. I decided to go jogging at Bishan Park. Very very refreshing and the winds helped clear my clogged mind. Then I tried pull-ups at the chin-up bar before trodding home. But what pull-ups when none was done? Got to raise the bar. ARGHHHHH...

Haiz, my mum has agreed steadily upon my request to accept Christ. My father has his reservations. My Big Aunt spoke to me today and coaxed me to remain free-thinker. She, being a Buddhist, said that my staying safe and unscathed from birth stemmed from neutrality of religions and that I should stick with it. Not that I was convinced or anything, but it made me rather confused. I'm tugged both ways. I really have NO idea what to do. This thing is a sensitive issue, and I don't wish to contemptuously insinuate any religion, but it's hard making a choice.

Posted by Brandon at Friday, January 23, 2004 | Permalink

The season of giving! Wait a sec, isn't that Christmas we're talking about? No, it's Chinese New Year.

Went to Chinatown last night despite being totally fatigued from all that going back to cat high and school celebration stuff. Having been to Cheeeeenatown every CNY eve without fail since I was around 5, I can safely say that the night market has turned more commercialised. The atmosphere was immaterial, the satisfaction given to customers was not important, all there was was the want to fetch profits. Even when it struck 12 with fireworks illuminating the sky and everyone stopping in their tracks to admire the works, the stall-owners were still hollering at the top of their voices, as if they were afraid their goods never sell. I heard one who said in Mandarin, "If you don't want to buy, please move, people behind want to buy one!"

My relatives came over today. Again, they decided to talk and talk till the cows come home. They had dinner. Then they went off. Not exactly the most exciting gathering at all, but nevertheless it was ok.

Before I forget, I want to wish all Chinese a truly, truly happy new year! Dreams make us seem like we're fools, but still dare to dream!

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, January 22, 2004 | Permalink

Appeal

Calling out to all Singaporeans who love their country, please post in the following Amazing Race thread and defend our interests, since we are stupidly trampled all over by some Americans who think so highly of themselves.

http://pub207.ezboard.com/fsurvivorsucksfrm23.showMessageRange?topicID=3063.topic&start=1&stop=20

To post, you need an ezboard account. If you really want to join me in making our voices heard, register for an ezboard account and post ---NOW!

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, January 21, 2004 | Permalink

If only
Brandon Ho
Silly Productions
Parental Guidance not needed

So long I've been given,
Everything I'd ever need.
All the times that pass me by,
Will break me into pieces.

Will you cry for me,
When I tell you how much love is worth.
Won't you tell me how to fly,
Only if I'd learnt to climb.

If only, If only, If only,
I could turn back time.
If lovely lovely lovely tunes come by,
I would sit down with myself,
And turn the lights out.

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, January 21, 2004 | Permalink

Haizzz, these two days have been a blast! I've dropped Maths and taken Geog instead. So it's lit, geog, tsd and econs. Surprised? Don't be. I had my personal reasons. It was an easy switch as my timetable was not altered at all.

Our Econs teacher is a bitch! She should teach in a Primary School! So calculative! She gives this stupid face and hurls caustic remarks at almost everything, for no apparent reason. And please, if you're awfully corpulent (nicely put), please shed that skin tight tank top. It shows the flaps, not the abs. Gonna have a hard time coercing myself to listen to her.

Nicole spoke to me about God. She said she had been praying for me since orientation. I was surprised, she cried just praying for me at church. I'm not that worthy of such glory. She mentioned, rather convincingly, that God is trying to bring us together in such a way that Nicole plays a messenger to cajole me into joining the kingdom of God. Much apprehension sprouted in my mind. I've always been very open about religions but this time, someone is actually asking me to join Christianity! She borrowed me her treasured bible and gave me pamphlets on Christianity, and was willing to go to church with me on Saturday nights although her service was in the afternoon. I guessed I was convinced. I will go to church with her next Saturday and see what happens. :)

In a sudden twist of events, I'm in GP society, which I just joined today! Dpn't ask me why. I just did. So no more library or table tennis or tennis, it's GP Society. I didn't expect that but who cares.

Awaiting tomorrow's gathering...

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, January 20, 2004 | Permalink

I got a box of disposable contact lens, coz they are very much needed. On stage, you can't wear specs unless you are required to. But heard the science people can't wear contacts coz they will react with some chemicals to react vigouriously? Whatever. I spent an hour at the optician's learning how to put on the contacts. It's shitty. I reckon I'd at least tried 40 times. Putting the lens on and pulling them down. The practitioner was getting more and more impatient with me, and so was I with myself. It was damn hard. I guess she gave up on me. "Ok. Try last time, this time I shut up, ok!" I was pathetic! I couldn't believe it. I kept blinking!

I found 1 interesting habit and 1 outstanding liking I have. I've always been in full possession of them, but perhaps no one ever knows them coz I never show them!?

HABIT I like to type messages in my phone, mostly sent out. MOSTLY. I also like to pen down some thoughts at that particular moment in time. Sometimes, you don't want to tell others how you feel deep within, so what I do is pick up my phone, to key in brief messages, some of which are lines from songs/poems, others are momentary thoughts about an event in time. Sometimes, I save some of these messages in my archives and revisit these entries... Weird?! DUNNO...

LIKING It has almost morphed into infatuation. MOULIN ROUGE is in my life! My comp wallpaper is Moulin Rouge, my phone wallpaper is Moulin Rouge, I mumble lines from Moulin Rouge and I think Moulin Rouge! Strange, this is the only movie that has remained with me all this while. You know it? DUNNO...

Christian: The Moulin Rouge, a nightclub, a dance hall and bordello. Ruled over by Harold Zidler. A kingdom of nighttime pleasures. Where the rich and powerful come to play with the young and beautiful creatures of the Underworld. And the most beautiful of all these was the woman I loved. Satine, a courtesan. She sold her love to men. They called her the "Sparkling Diamond" and she was the star of the Moulin Rouge. The woman I loved is...(long pause)...dead.
I first came to Paris one year ago. It was 1899, the summer of love. I knew nothing of the Moulin Rouge, Harold Zidler or Satine. The world had been swept up in Bohemian Revolution, and I had traveled from London to be a part of it. On a hill near Paris was the village of Montmarte. It was the center of the Bohemian world, with musicians, painters and writers. They were known as the Children of the Revolution. Yes, I had come to live a penniless existence. I had come to write about truth, beauty, freedom, and that which I believed in above all things, LOVE.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, January 18, 2004 | Permalink

Before I even had a chance to blog on yesterday's gathering, people have already chalked up entries on their blogs. Ah har, and mind you everyone felt good about the gathering.

It was a night of (yet again) bitching and chatting over a hearty meal at some fiesta restaurant. Insinuations directed at certain individuals, talk about relationships and girls, behind-the-door cursing and signing autographs were the call of the day. It was a lingering and vague idea about the gathering yesterday, if not unprepared. But it still came through and the result was superlative.

I guess everyone misses everyone. There's always this sense of o-i-feel-so-good-seeing-them-again gush of emotion, especially having been out there for a week or two. Familiar faces. I just took a moment in the restaurant, just to look at people one by one. Everyone had left an impactful image in my life. Lovely ones. As much as I wished there could be more people to share this joy and laughter with, I could not be more satisfied with the attendance, the highest this year.

Class photos finally circulated into our dear hands. Haiz, it's weird to see a whole bunch of 4-4 people together in a definite perimeter again. Some people, as you glance row by row, have disappeared from contact, while others have always made it a point to meet up and catch up with each other about life. I find it intriguing how some people can actually leave school with no nourishment of the past. Have they even lived a period I'd lived before? Apparently I seem to have shared the same mentalities as those who attended last nights reunion.

As we continued our seemingly perpetual chattering at some hdb lobby, the issue of discrimination among classmates surfaced. Teck Kuan in particular was sharing his woes about jc life and the hard times he'd had in school, handling some almost impossible situations. But I refused to make direct comments because I never know who's right and who's wrong. Not that I don't trust Teck Kuan or whatever. It's being neutral that problems can be resolved. Not biasedness.

The moment for parting finally arrived. Boohoo! But in three days' time, we'll be back again!

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, January 18, 2004 | Permalink

I have not blogged for two days!

Friday was the bbq thingy. I did enjoy it ok lar. I sang Come What May to Carol, Michelle, Vivienne and Mariam on request. And to Aishah too. OG Aishah was especially taken aback, "Brudder! OG never see you talk, you can act arh?! and sing arh?!?!" That made me feel important and assured. Because I can tell myself that I'd leave my OG having left mildly satisfactory impressions on the people there.

Sometimes, I felt out again, so I went to look for KP and gang. And enough about HBO commericalsl I'm not doing it, OK! Then I returned to the group. Left them again without uttering a word. As usually my sense of solitude took the better of me, I lay myself on the sand and watched the stars. I sang to myself and it was comfortable. I wished my body struck to the sand forever.

Saturday was really a fun day! Early in the morning, we had our first lighting workshop in school. We were cramped with lots of information cascading on us. Fortunately, we had a notebook with us and I can say we learnt alot! But rigging, sound/light controls, profiles and fresnels etc...very enriching.

Then, it was the highly-anticipated workshop at the young co. The group was damn fun! We had rounds of icebreakers, both physical and mental. And let me tell you, those people sure can act. We were given less than 5 minutes to come up with a short exchange of lines between two/three people revolving on the idea of switch of power. Our group of Lynn, Andrew and Brandon did fairly ok lar. The others blew me away. They worked magic, in less than a time people take to shit. I was kind of drained from it because I was one of the youngest but had to lift up a hefty 24 year-old, crawl between the legs of more than 20 people, let a 24-year old hang across my belly, whatnot...

We received the schedule. Darn! It was realy heavy. Momentarily I was kind of swayed, with certain propensities forming in my head. But I guess since I wanted to join it, I needed to be committed to it yar? THE ODD COUPLE is coming! I'll be doing front-of-house on 21st Feb, the closing night! So exciting, never done that before!

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, January 18, 2004 | Permalink

I've been dreaming these days.

My dream play - A realistic story about the struggles of marriage, infatuations and obessions
My dream dating place - The beach, on a tombolo
My dream lady - Loves me deeply and has accompanying grace
My dream job - An actor-director
My dream house - A three-room flat embellished with colourful ornaments that depict my life
My dream passion - Playing and instrument and Singing
My dream family - Love without words
My dream movie - A musical that plays with perspective and love
My dream voice - A husky and lower one
My dream car - I don't wanna drive

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, January 15, 2004 | Permalink

Today, I discovered I actually liked LIT for what it was. Ms Low gave us this poem reading session, where she played from cds, some poems recited by famous popsters including Madonna, Sting etc. It was a lovely session, a very highly appreciative and intellectual period.

This poem stamped in my mind. You should hear how it was read out. I reckon some girls were crying at the end of the poem.

W. H. Auden
Stop all the Clocks

Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.

Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead,
Put crepe bows round the white necks of the public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.

He was my North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood.
For nothing now can ever come to any good.

~

I suddenly felt that I couldn't bring myself to study anymore. The drive's gone. The minute you pick up a maths worksheet or a lit text, you drop it almost the next moment. Then you take out your discman and head for an obscure corner, and listen to songs that bring you to another world of your own. Then you switch to after-school mode right away, and want so much to rush home and switch on the damn comp. or fall into a slumber before your very own dull Econs teacher. I've kinda felt this a few times since orientation, and it never leaves me.

~

Tomorrow's the OG thingy. I decided to muster enough courage to go. I felt there was something to prove, not proven yet. We shall see.

~

I've heard a lot of stories about jc life. Views vary, sometimes even stretching to two extremities. I guess it's always another phase in life you must go through? And another? And another? I told myself since reality spells out clearly that I can never return to the good old days, so why not make the best out of all that I have now? Seasons may change, winter to spring. Let nature take its course, and course your way through. Peace.

::Brandon needs sleep. He always doesn't have enough of it.::

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, January 15, 2004 | Permalink

On the bus again, thinking again.

This friday got OG bbq. To go or not to go? I'll try to decide. It's hard. I don't want to like sneak out in the middle.

I need to apologise to all 4-4 people I can't go for the gathering this Saturday, coz i've got a COMPULSORY lightings workshop at school at 10. It's really bitchy, I was all hyped up yesterday for the gathering, but suddenly this notice came on the notice board. Apparently someone from SRT will come over to train us on lights. Interesting, but I'm sure my mind will stray and before I know it, I will be imagining the fun people will be having at wm's. Cya very soon! O please.

I went home with Lynn and Moses on the bus. They are damn fun people lor, it was like watching a comedy duologue, just sitting opposite them. Anyway, they were talking so much about the chimology of theatre I did not understand a word. I was trying to smother chuckles but they soon gave way to laughter. You know laughter.

Debates and Oraltorical Society meeting was fun. But judging from the standard of the new Year 1s joining the club, I guess I'd fit in nowhere. I hope to wiggle into the oraltorical segment of the club, so I can at least do something I like. I've got a feeling debates not my cup of tea. And blending myself into the bunch of Cat High debators who are national champions make me feel like I'm just camouflaging into an unknown world.

I've been thinking about the people I've met at The Young Co. Some had boldly coloured hair, some smoked, some had piercings all over their bodies, others look so funky. There I am. The nerdy looking freak. I guess it's another attempt yet again, to try to fit in. I can't imagine myself looking like one of them in years to come. But I guess I will be myself for the time being. I hate being someone else, which was dumb really.

Posted by Brandon at Wednesday, January 14, 2004 | Permalink

I had my first TSD workshop. Damn fun.

I met two of my OGLs today. Was just passing by. It's a funny feeling. I've had a fresh start with my wonderful class of 04A55. Amazing bunch of people. I've always told myself to let the nightmare of Orientation pass me by and let myself start all over again. It did work. Then suddenly, I see these OGLs. Images surge. Unhappiness brews. It's presumptuous to ask them to leave, but shutting myself off seems like what a fool would do. I did nothing wrong, after all.

I chose to keep our meeting brief. "Hilloz!" "Bye" "See you arh." was all I could render. There is a stark dichotomy between two sequences. One is me sulking at one end of the hall, eagerly waiting for Orientation to end so that I could skulk off into the thin air, the other is the jubilation and excitement being around the souls of 04A55, not to forget 4-4 as well, if not more importantly. :>

It comes down to reality, and it's fine with me cause I've let it slide.
I don't care if it's Chinatown or on Riverside.
I don't have any reasons.
I left them all behind.
I'm in a New York state of mind.
Oh yeah.

There was this form from the TSD teachers that asked us, "What do you wanna be in the future?" I was kind of stunned for a little moment. It was scary thinking about the future. Anyway, it was just a sudden bolt that struck me. I'm still thinking of the answer.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, January 13, 2004 | Permalink

*Before I forget, I'd like to thank Mel, YY, Jian H, Bert, Shawn for accompanying me to the auditions. I never would have made it without their support.*

Today, I realised I'm beginning to like travelling the distance to school. I keep thinking on the way. About how birds can navigate with such tiny eyes, about how the bus driver can sit and drive for hours without any effort to defuse his fatigue, about why people who recognise you never talk to you etc. You look out of the window and see things you never were ready to see.

"Jin Ting learnt how to tie her shoelaces and her mother was very proud of her. Even if it was her 10th birthday." A poster-ad.

An old lady in her fifties still reporting for work at some factory, perfectly disguised in morning rush.

Bunches of primary kids strolling to school, innocent and naive, laughing and jumping, heading for the fairyland of rudimentary teachings. Boy, do they even know how fortunate they are.

A Year Two dashing for the bus I was in at top speed, but still failing to catch it. She cupped her forehead and panted. And panted.

As I continue to watch in silence, I form little circles in my head. My imagination runs wild. Suddenly, I feel so disconsolate to be seeing all these, depressed and moody... the cycle of life spinning viciously. So familiar, so near. Wait for me, wait for me, I feel myself shout. But no one seems to hear me. The bus goes on, until I arrive, but it never stops.

Posted by Brandon at Monday, January 12, 2004 | Permalink

Guess what? I got into YOUNG CO.!!!!

For 8 weeks supposedly. They will put us under probation for 8 weeks, and will be coming up with a presentation after this period. I'm so soaked in jubilation and disbelief! It was a dream!

Went in...And they let us watch two young co. people dance to "me against the music", and taught us the steps ONCE. And they asked us to dance to it without their help. Basically it turned out quite scrappy. The other four people in the room auditioning were also grooving to the music, but apparently nobody remembered what was taught, serenading the judges with their own-created dance moves. Of course, I didn't want to lose out. I shook my body to the music, and ewww the huge ceiling to floor mirror in front of me showed my reflection. I took a glance at it, and decided not to look at it for the rest of the dance. It sort of worked. Guess what, it's Britney.

Then, the five of us were summoned out and we were auditioned individually. My turn was fourth. I sang "come what may" and "ease on down the road" and acted two contrasting monologues. Boy, was it intimidating, I dared not look into their eyes. Wendy was her usual playful self, Mark was sitting really attentively and squinting his eyes in deep thought. It was fast over, since they stopped me in both the songs and monologues halfway before I could even finish them.

Being the expressive and gentle me, I guess the two judges didn't believe I could do the "king of the castle" or "knight of the armour" thingy, so they gave me a brief passage and gave me one minute to try to act it out. It required a lot of gusto and strength to give a brave rendition, so I basically gave it my best shot. It was scary how my voice turned low and menacing. It WAS awkward. Before I even know how I performed for this impromptu, Wendy passed me a letter.

It brought a smile on my face.

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, January 11, 2004 | Permalink

I hope you know the songs I paste in my blog do mean something, and aren't just randomly slotted in to fill space. Listen to this song, GOODBYE TO YOU by MICHELLE BRANCH. A temporary farewell. A peaceful goodbye.

Goodbye to me and welcome a new me. The "You" in the song refers to people who have passed me by in my life and have been with me all this while.

I will stand up again! Thanks for support from everywhere, which really inspired me. I slapped myself, realising that there are people in the world who care. I think I'll adapt pretty fast.

So, give me time, ok?

Michelle Branch
Goodbye To You

Of all the things I believe in
I just want to get it over with
tears from behind my eyes
but I do not cry
Counting the days that past me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Looks like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend and I say

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I love
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems like I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes till you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light but it's not right

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Ohhh yeah
It hurts to want everything & nothing at the same time
I want whats yours and I want whats mine
I want you but I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

We the stars fall and I lie awake
Your my shooting star

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, January 11, 2004 | Permalink

I don't wanna die

Gloomy days got my head twisted
Mystic visions of a razor blade
Cut my blunt with precision
Stuff it till it's bustin'
Sippin' on some Tussin
Imagine it gothic hustlin'
Men tusslin' women fussin'
And they babies in the corner cryin'
Young niggaz bang and they ain't afriad of dyin'
Pistol keepers mobile phones and beepers
Cars and hoes and plenty dust for the geekers
Me I'm a break beater microphone eater
Weed leader, siizlin' like a fajita
But it's so hard for me to stay out the streets
Behind tint blowin' cheap
Fuckin' with freaks
What kinda role model, I'ma be?
Don't get it twisted
Gifted, linquistic. graphic and realistic
God, deleiver me from harm and arm me with,
Sense enough to know when to quit
Chorus:
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die (lord forgive me for the anger that I feel today)
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die
Thinkin' about what my eyes witnessed
Thinkin' about what my kids gon' see
when they get grown and independent
What you doin' baby?
18, strippin' daily
A small ass apartment, tryin' to flip a Mercedes
I don't knock shit, unless you a fiend
Tryin' to hock shit
Protectin' myself
I gotta grab the gock and pop shit
I guess that's the problem with the world today (what?)
Black, white, asian
So many people think this way
Fuck with me and I'll shoot ya
We live in, what used to be the space age, future
To acid droppin' hippies
Now they run the country
Drug smugglin' with my tax money
Bomb makers, nuclear, death creators
White power, skin head, Jew and nigga haters
All of this, plus I gotta watch the nigga next door
What you think I pray for, man
Chorus
Life ain't nothin' but preperation
For the angels and the demons that we all gon' face when,
The soul and the body seperate, that's death
Nothin' left but darkness, after your last breath
Well, all of that shit is in the past
Enjoy it while you got it, cause you can't take it with your ass
Where I'm from, any day can be your last
That's why them thug niggaz live life hard and fast
Slowdown, and find yourself surrounded by the lowdown
Unaware, a showdown's about to go down
Why we gotta clown instead of bein' kinfolks
Why do white folks, think all we know is sellin' dope?
Some can't cope, and got out hangin' from a rope
Slit wrists, found shakin' from an overdose
Tupac and Biggie got they life snatched away
Nobody knows when they gotta go, mayne
Chorus
That's all baby,
You never know when you gotta go
Deaths around the corner
Your nobody, till somebody kils you
But I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die
Hey, I don't wanna die
Can you hear me?
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die
DIe, die, die, die, die (repeated till end)

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, January 10, 2004 | Permalink

Today, my chs friends started asking silly questions. Not just one person. I'm feeling a little disappointed with myself, for being the jerk that I am. All that bullshit about fitting in. All that jazz about whatever.

It's a grimy world out there. No one seems to know and identify. I'm a lonely Bishan boy who travels far and long to reach school, I'm a novice performer who needs to live up to expectations from multiple worlds, I'm a reserved baby yet to identify my broader niches, I'm an uncaring soul who cries for help in a subject combi where gender prejudice seeps beneath, I'm a little freak who comes across as cold and unloving. I don't know how others cope, (they don't seem to find it hard) but with the immense pressure I'm facing here and everywhere, I'm kind of facing the worst thing in my life. This thing is known as depression.

I think I've changed drastically since last Friday. My life has just been rummaged by a whirlwind of events. It's a scary change, taking me by storm. I need you to understand. Some emotions, you can't chuck them aside anytime, anywhere. This thing's getting to me again. Timeout.

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, January 10, 2004 | Permalink

UPDATE!

1 Chinese Class was extremely weird...people in vj don't speak chinese apparently since the June last year. They hate chinese like shit between their legs.
2 Tomorrow is the Sea Carnival. It's an OG event, some resentment brews, but we shall see what happens.
3 Sunday's finally my auditions! I can't wait to go for it --- as well as start rehearsing, yar?
4 The more I get to know 04A55, the more I like it.
5 I have plans to drop Econs and take Chinese or Geog. It's not my cup of tea. Period.

JC life is sinking in. But I realised the biggest crunch for me is LIT actually. Some texts are written in ancient english, and the level of response is highly demanding! There are 3 lit teachers teaching me, but I'd actually secretly hoped to have 3 of the other 4 Lit teachers in VJ. So, my hopes never realised, but I will make do with 3 boring teachers who talk about mcbeth and chaucer as if we as students know them inside out. No, we don't...O maybe it's just me.

The first TSD assignment is HERE! It's about some vasectomy thingy, which is outright gross, ok quite gross. Must write essay liao! Haiz YO! Anyway, I wasn't chosen for acting (sobsob!) but ended up in two dramatic sequences, one lighting group and the other a costume group. COOL!

I realised it's kind of stupid, the timetable system I mean. There are 2 - 3 breaks per day, and while most lasts a period of 40 minutes, there are some which spans four periods of say 3 hours or more?? I don't know what to do in this time, I can't bring myself to study can I???!

OK, heard of this 4-4 gathering thingy. PLEASE inform me as soon as possible ok!??!

Posted by Brandon at Friday, January 09, 2004 | Permalink

UPDATE!

1 I'm the Lit Rep of 04A55! We're gonna change the stereotype that this class is notoriously mischievious!
2 I plan to join table tennis / tennis and debates / oraltorical club.
3 There are fake CCAs in VJ. Examples are the modelling society, Indoor Adventure CLub (mahjong, cards, carrom) and International Friendship Society.
4 Ruth's the CT rep! Zhi Ling's the A. CT rep!
5 TSD rox like hell! Maths is medieval boredom, Econs is sluttish wordplay, Lit is content-intensive language-tester.
6 There are only 4 guys in our class. One is supposedly gay, one is from ANDERSON, the other is the presentor of jokes. Special characters in class.

A yar, if you think I'm doing so so well in jc, you're kinda wrong. My previous entries have not revealed much other than the fun and puff of vj life. Anyway, I'm trying very hard to fit in. Have spoken to a few good friends about this matter. Dance is fun, cheers are fun, but when it comes down to the integration into the mainstream of life, it's one whole shit for me. I've been having sleepless nights. I'm actually coping quite badly.

Yar, I'm kind of tired and dreading school life now. I totally miss you guys ALOT! ABSOLUTELY! When I think of all of you on the bus, beneath my bed sheet, in front of the computer, in lecture theatres, I can't help but hope desperately I could disappear back to Cat High and live what I'd lived for that one magical period in my life. As if the arduous journey to and fro VJ isn't enough, I'm not actively participating in orientation for some reason, probably coz people seem cold... 04A55 is like miles better than my OG.

Nicole, thanks for hearing me out on Nite-O! Thanks for praying for me. I had wanted to just run off from Nite-O, thinking about the solitude of my existence, with almost no one to talk to. But at least you spoke to me.

Anyway, all 04A55 people seeing this, just wanna tell u u all are a bunch of enthu people I like. Just give me time yar? And please stop the kinky, bitchy, britney thingy for a while? Kind of uncomfortable...

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, January 08, 2004 | Permalink

*daniel has officially quit VJ and has found a new job, and will be jcless in the first three months*
I dont know why.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, January 06, 2004 | Permalink

If devastated is not the word to describe me now, I don't know what better word to find.

Posted by Brandon at Tuesday, January 06, 2004 | Permalink

Helloz...everyone. Highlight for today was dance at suntec. Kind of squeezy, no space to dance, but nevertheless had a fun time.

Suddenly, if you sit beside Brandon now, you hardly, or NEVER hear, "BITCHY! SLUTTISH! BU YAO BEN! SHEN JING PO!" I guess jc-ing's starting to take a toll on me. Some kind of curse...You gradually become someone you aren't. Haizz, my good frenz know it, I can't survive days with ZERO bickering with ppl like YY, or talking less than 1000 words per day. A yor, hard to accustom to people, they never know why you scold them, "BITCHY!" for no apparent reason, or why I will always debate my way through things. I guess some of you people reading know what I'm talking about...

I'm in CLASS A55! I guess the supposedly the worst class in ARTS??? And the whole school?!? Always have the worst results??? HAHA... NO CAT HIGH PEOPLE in it, at least from what i heard! Guess I'm alone --- again. My OG only got me and another guy going in together and that's basically it. Today, someone called me a CHINA PERSON again, say I look and speak like one. In VJ, where most claim they fail chinese and ace english, you can't expect people to tell a Singaporean from a Chinese from the Mainland. And alas, nobody seems to believe I'm taking TSD...I got this feeling they associating me with SCIENCE BOYS who cling on triple science for dear life. So sad, I don't look like who I am supposed to be am. So am I still that whoever? Whoever I still am?

Posted by Brandon at Monday, January 05, 2004 | Permalink

Woke up from a well-deserved sleep...had a delectable bowl of wanton mee, yumyum...kind of bored, and looking for things to do. Then, ALAS! then remembered the vcd mr tan lent me, A la folie Pas du Tout (He loves me, he loves me not). Watched the French film and very impressed. I've got this feeling the French are born film-makers. If you think you are probably hit by erotomania or would go to great lengths to cinch your crush from his/her lover, this film's for you. 3.5 stars out of 5! Special mention goes to adept acting from Audrey Tautou (Remember Amelie?) and the art direction (French films like Amelie, Love me if you dare always ace this part). At some points, this movie turns quite horrifying. Ok, if I go on, you may not know what I'm talking about so, full stop. But if I tell you, I fell asleep watching Matrix at home after watching cd1 and I watched He loves me, he loves me not one full shot without stopping, you should know how good a home film it makes.

It's hard directing yourself! I've tried acting alone in the room. Phew! It was tough! Only managed two brief paragraphs of a small part of my comedy monologue. And it took like 2 hours figuring out the actions, tone, eye contact, what-have-you... Today, I need to complete something, if not next week is too hectic, to squeeze time.

Hallo! Are we going back to Cat High anytime sooner than CNY??

Posted by Brandon at Sunday, January 04, 2004 | Permalink

R. Kelly
Leap Of Faith


There is strength deep inside me that I never knew I had
There's a fire within burnin' bright
There is a love inside of me that I never thought I'd feel
Until the day you came into my life, yeah


And it was you that were there when no one else was
And you show me a love unknown, ooh


You kept the fire burnin'
You kept hope alive
And when my soul was fallin'
You helped me to survive
And you led the way
Encouraged me to take that leap of faith


There’s a dream that I dream, I never knew it would come true
There’s a place I never thought that I would be (Ooh)
There is a chance (There's a chance) that I took (That
I took) that I never thought I'd take
Until you came and helped me to believe, oh...oh...


You were there when no one else was
And you showed me a love unknown


You kept the fire burnin'
And you kept hope alive
And when my soul was fallin'
You helped me to survive
And you led the way
Encouraged me to take that leap of faith (Of faith, of
faith, of faith, of faith, ooh)


Leap of faith
Oh, yeah
Oh...oh...oh...oh...


You showed me just how
{How to believe in me} In me, oh...
You moved that tree and tore that forest there for me


You kept the fire burnin' (You kept it burnin')
You kept hope alive (You kept hope alive)
And when my soul was fallin' (My soul was fallin')
You helped me to survive (Yeah, you helped me to
survive)
You led the way
Encouraged me to take that leap of faith, yeah


You kept the fire burnin' (Woo)
You kept hope alive (You kept the hope alive, yeah)
And when my soul was falliin' (My soul was fallin')
You helped me to survive (But you helped me to
survive)
You led the way
Encouraging me to take


The fire {Everybody}, hope {All my life}
My soul {Someone's callin'} with you {I'll survive}
You led {Go away}, encouraged me {To take}
That leap of faith and make it over
Now I owe my thanks to you, ho...oh...


You kept the fire burnin' (Woo, hey)
You kept hope alive (You kept hope alive)
When my soul was fallin' (When my soul was fallin')
You helped me to survive (Ooh...you helped me to
survive)
Oh...yes, you did
Pushing me to take that leap of faith


You kept the fire burnin'
You kept hope alive
And when my soul was fallin'
You helped me to survive
Oh...oh...oh...oh...

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, January 03, 2004 | Permalink

BEAUTIFUL song. ENJOY.

"Breathe Easy" ~ BLUE

Cruel to the eye
I see the way he makes you smile
Cruel to the eye
Watching him hold what used to be mine

Why did I lie?
What did I walk away to find
Oooohhh...why...oooh -- why...

CHORUS
I... can't breathe easy
Can't sleep at might
Till you're by my side
No I... can't breathe easy
I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air

Curse me inside
For every word that caused you to cry
Curse me inside

I won't forget, no i won't baby,
I don't know why (don't know why)
I left the one i was looking to find

Ooh -- why...ooooh, why -- why...

CHORUS

Out of my mind
Nothing makes sense anymore
I want you back in my life

That's all I'm breathing for

Ooooooohhhhh -- tell me why

Oh won't you tell me why

I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying by my side
There's no air

I... can't breathe easy
Can't sleep at night

Till you're by my side

Coz i can't breathe easy

I can't dream yet another dream
Without you lying next to me
There's no air

There's no air.

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, January 03, 2004 | Permalink

Going to VJ today was like another jab of adrenaline, another surge of emotions, and another boost of the VJ-spirit. I have to say the VJ-spirit hit a nerve and struck a chord. Very impressive and utterly amazing. You'll not know what I'm talking about unless you're in it. Sweaty, tired, ravenous, thirsty, but the Victorians continued to cheer and dance. And yes, if you want to check out our mass dances and cheers, check out the fountain of wealth at night on Monday. You'll see what I'm talking about. It's not just the seniors, the Year 1s are also getting the hang of it. Me included.

A poem for thought (after a long long day at VJ):

Withered and tattered,
Brittle and silent,
All you make of
Clearly inaudible.

The smile glistens,
The mole darkens.
I play my corner of my eye.
Striking the loneliness apart.

Stomping in disbelief
I can't at all help it.
It seems it's never to be.
I sigh much agony.

Gregarious birds fly high,
The leaves drop me by.
Stand in yourself,
Coz all you make of,
Clearly inaudible.

Posted by Brandon at Saturday, January 03, 2004 | Permalink

What a blast! Games, cheers, mass dances, hollering, bitching, all in one day. Thoroughly enjoyable, but extremely draining. You can't imagine how tired I am now.

I finally made my decision this morning with my subject combination. Econs seemed interesting and practical, so the initial maths, geog, tsd and lit combo was switched to maths, econs, tsd and lit. I guess the Geog content and teachers don't appeal to me that much. Haiz, I'm still quite lost but never mind. The tsd intake ballooned from last year's intake of less than 20 people to this year's almost 50 people! And guess what 7 males out of the possibly 50 students. And wow, they made quite a fuss out of it, but it never turned into nastiness. BTW, the girls seemed so enthu at the first gathering of tsd people (the teacher grabbed us off orientation programme to talk to us!), the boys were like so dull and prosaic. I guess things will turn for the better as they open up. I didn't want to make myself extra out of the boys once again, I remained silent too, occasionally breaking into a smile or two at the really comical conversations between the two loquacious in-charges.


The other subjects didn't interest me that much, so I didn't ask more about them. But the mass dance was very very fun(that is, if you opened up). But it was awfully long, and hard to remember every single step in the dance. Worse still, it was only one small section of the long list of dances that had to be mastered. I hope tomorrow, SATURDAY, orientation is less xiong. I need rest.

I had some reservations. VJ was SO far, a pathetic, bottom-scorching 50 minute bus ride from Bishan. It was a challenging task, coz never had to travel that far to reach school since nursery. Somemore, few people talk to me only!!! Ah yor, I think I shy or something. Or maybe I look very china, coz someone asked me initiatively, "You from China?" I said, "NO!" It was at the least the 3rd time in my life someone has deemed me a CHINA BOY. But anyway, are CHINA BOYS any less?

I got to meet Lynn from TSD, the Young Co. and the Students' Council. At least these are also part of my interests... I got to speak to her and she was, as expected, SO ENTHU about things. Very outspoken. Just hope to be like her. And kudos to the ARTS stream! and TSD students, who are studying "the world's greatest subject". The TSD teacher : "You should be proud of Singapore as a young rising country, UK is fast sinking!"

The canteen food was kind of awful, at least the bowl of tom yam mee was. It was evidently a packet of Maggi Mee boiled in some tom-yam powder. 2 slices of crabmeat and 2 fishballs was all there was fir 1.20 dollars. Not worth lar! The small tsd theatre was COOL! Very compact, I can imagine myself there already working on some production or something.

Welcome to JC life! You will never know what it is until you're in it!

Posted by Brandon at Friday, January 02, 2004 | Permalink

Hiya! Everyone hooked onto the buzz of a new year, yar???

A yar, finally got adobe audition. It helps remove vocals from a song, adds effects, reduces background noise, adjusts the song's pitch. Pretty much an all-rounded programme for editing songs. Just very complicated. Took 2 hours figuring out how to use. Fortunately the help button was rather useful.

The audition's in less than 2 weeks. I can't help but feel a little panicky. I've only got the minus one versions on my disc and my monologues are not even rehearsed yet. I just don't know where to start. Previously, there was Wendy to help direct. Now, I'm on my own, who knows whether I'm doing it right?? And the songs are funny, my lack of knowledge about musical songs have landed in with two songs, which nobody may think I will ever sing. Heck!

I sent an e-mail to Wendy. And there was this out of the office message, about the company being closed from 25th Dec to 5th Jan. so Wendy may not get my mail. Got to reach her fast for some important info. And come to think of it, this audition's for 16 - 25 year-olds, I'm a little too young and inexperienced to appreciate arts and do things right. I'm still quite lost. Don't know what the judges are looking for....

Sigh...Anyway, school term starts tml. Good luck to all.

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, January 01, 2004 | Permalink

The backspace key! You are happy in life and you
will be happy enough to help anyone at all and
the backspace key helps a lot of people by
correcting thier mistakes.
Thank's for taking my quiz!


Which key on the keyboard are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, January 01, 2004 | Permalink

Remember me for those who leave. Be with me for those who's with me.

I present two great songs. Look at the lyrics. Enjoy.


Vitamin C
Graduation

And so we talked all night about the rest of our lives
Where we're gonna be when we turn 25
I keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking things will always be the same
But when we leave this year we won't be coming back
No more hanging out cause we're on a different track
And if you got something that you need to say
You better say it right now cause you don't have another day
Cause we're moving on and we can't slow down
These memories are playing like a film without sound
And I keep thinking of that night in June
I didn't know much of love
But it came too soon
And there was me and you
And then we got real cool
Stay at home talking on the telephone with me
We'd get so excited, we'd get so scared
Laughing at our selves thinking life's not fair
And this is how it feels

1 - As we go on
We remember
All the times we
Had together
And as our lives change
Come whatever
We will still be
Friends Forever

So if we get the big jobs
And we make the big money
When we look back now
Will our jokes still be funny?
Will we still remember everything we learned in school?
Still be trying to break every single rule
Will little brainy Bobby be the stockbroker man?
Can we ever find a job that won't interfere with a tan?
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly
And this is how it feels

Repeat 1

La, la, la, la…
Yeah, yeah, yeah
La, la, la, la…
We will still be friends forever

Will we think about tomorrow like we think about now?
Can we survive it out there?
Can we make it somehow?
I guess I thought that this would never end
And suddenly it's like we're women and men
Will the past be a shadow that will follow us 'round?
Will these memories fade when I leave this town
I keep, I keep thinking that it's not goodbye
Keep on thinking it's a time to fly

Repeat 1 (3x)






Celine Dion
A New Day Has Come


A new day has...come


I was waiting for so long
For a miracle to come
Everyone told me to be strong
Hold on and don't shed a tear


Through the darkness and good times
I knew I'd make it through
And the world thought I had it all
But I was waiting for you


Hush, love


I see a light in the sky
Oh, it's almost blinding me
I can't believe
I've been touched by an angel with love
Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new, new sun
A new day has...come


Where it was dark now there's light
Where there was pain now there's joy
Where there was weakness, I found my strength
All in the eyes of a boy


Hush, love


I see a light in the sky
Oh, it's almost blinding me
I can't believe
I've been touched by an angel with love
Let the rain come down and wash away my tears
Let it fill my soul and drown my fears
Let it shatter the walls for a new, new sun
A new day has...come


A new day has...come
Ohhh, a light... OOh

Posted by Brandon at Thursday, January 01, 2004 | Permalink